is it rude for a family meber to basically copy my wedding?

Question

My hubby and I got married 4 yrs ago. Two weeks ago his cousin got married and to my amazement/shock he and his bride used our songs in their ceremony. Our songs are not common like Shania etc. etc. They were unique. And to top it off they copied our centerpieces again unique(as i am crafty) and to make matters worse copied our program almost word for word. Am i wrong for being pissed? I feel like they could have come up with their own uniqu ideas for their wedding

Answer 1

And?

Just be happy you did it first and just suck it up.

Answer 2

You should feel complimented that they thought your wedding was so beautiful and unique that they wanted to copy it. Some people just aren't crafty like you and have no idea how to plan things. There are a few things from some of the weddings I've attended in the last couple of years that I am going to do to, because I think it was a wonderful idea. Just because you did it first doesnt mean someone cant use that idea for their own wedding. People come on this site everyday asking for advice and the answerers share what they are doing. I've gotten a lot of ideas from asking and reading other's answers. Feel proud that they liked what you did.

Answer 3

Is there such a thing as a unique wedding? I think what makes the wedding special is the couple involved. Everything else is a variation on a theme (dress, cake, church etc.) and given the number of weddings very little can be 'unique'. Eventually a couple will get married in space and on the moon ..... So what? If she had the same groom then I'd agree that you have a reason to be huffy.

Answer 4

Imitation is the greatest form of flattery.

I know that you have done alot of things to make your wedding perfect, and it was perfect for you on your day. Apparently, it inspired others, and they were so moved by what you did, that they felt the need to use the model you put out there.

It doesn't diminish your day - heck, yours came first, and anyone who attended both, will know that.

I understand the anger, because I had a relative imitate everything down to the place of the honeymoon, just a year after mine. In the scheme of things, it's no big deal. I was mad, but got over it. It's not like you had exclusive rights to any of the ideas - otherwise, you should have had your guests sign a non-disclosure agreement. I'd say, just be flattered.

Answer 5

Well, you did say 4 yrs had passed. People probably didn't even notice. And, they say that imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, so they just admired your wedding so much they chose to copy it. Of course, it would have been nice if they had at least asked, but 4 yrs is quite a while between. If it had been only a month or so I would have said "heck yes" you had every right to be angry. But I would just take it as a compliment and go on.

Answer 6

I understand your feelings. But try to let go of your anger and focus on the fact that you can feel extremely flattered. This girl loved your style and trust me, you won't be the only one who notices that similarities. Since this is your husband's cousin, you'll be running into him and his bride from time to time over the years, no need to let this be a huge issue.

And yes, it was rude to copy your wedding without talking to you first. Take care and I'll tell you, I wish I could have seen your wedding now. I bet it was truly beautiful. Certainly, it made a real impression on your husband's cousin.

Laura

Answer 7

I would be upset too. But look at it in another light, your wedding must have been that memorable, unique, and awesome for them to want to copy it. I'd say leave them alone and let them have their moment. People will notice when they look at wedding albums/photos and see the similarities.

P.S. I wouldn't concern much about the song, relatives (and others) can like the same song...
And most programs sound similar anyways.

Answer 8

You should become a wedding planner! Obviously you've got some skills. But don't sweat it, it's true, imitation IS the sincerest form of flattery. At least this time, u were able to absorb the extravagant ceremony that you had for your wedding without having to entertain guests!

Answer 9

While I agree that it was pretty lame, I think you should try to take it as a compliment. Obviously your wedding made enough of an impact on them that they wanted to emulate it. It's sad for them that they couldn't come up with any original ideas, but it's silly to waste your energy being pissed. And keep in mind that most people who attended both events will realize the situation as well.

Answer 10

A friend of mine copied our wedding just two months after our wedding. I mean everything from the venue, the center peices, the food, and even the DJ. She planned her wedding very quickly. Everyone who knew us both knew that she used my ideas. I felt no reason to get upset. My wedding day was special to me and that is all that mattered. In fact, you should feel flattered that she thought that much of your creativity to copy your ideas.

Answer 11

I wouldn't say you are wrong for being pissed but maybe you could look at it from another perspective. Perhaps his cousin enjoyed your wedding program and other ideas so much that he wanted to incorporate them into his own wedding. You could take it to be flattering that he liked it so much that he used it in his own. It would have been polite for him to let you know he wanted to use them to make sure it didn't bother you and your husband.