Open to everyone. What are your favorite Sunday School lies?

Question

I'm sure even Christians have a few.

Childhood or adult Sunday School. Or Saturday for Seventh Day Adventists.

Mine are the ones that require page flipping, "And now if you'll turn with me to........"

Like using David and Goliath as an example of God's enduring love and power, but neglecting to mention that Israel was wiped out not long after that because the surrounding nations perfected the very type of armor that Goliath was wearing.

Reading from the Bronze Age stories of Joshua's conquests, but neglecting to mention that the Iron Age changed all of that, and the tall tales of God's glorious battles didn't quite cut it anymore when the invaders were wiping out your city and carrying your women off.

Or telling us that the Jews were punished for rejecting Jesus, when the fact is that their long slippery slope to diaspora and near oblivion began when Empires emerged in the Mediterranean, and it had nothing to do with any Messiah, real or fictional.

What are your favorites?

Answer 1

my favorite was when jesus healed the soldier's ear.

Answer 2

How about the story of Jonah and the whale? How am I supposed to believe a person lived inside a whale for three days? Then there's the story of God turning the Nile into blood. Let's not forget the story of the Tower of Babel being built so tall, that God got angry and made up new languages. All of these and more were taught to me as fact instead of metaphors. I was a very confused little girl. Then, I was taught that I'm bad if I feel skeptical about any of the stories.

Answer 3

The whole Easter bullsh*t. It isn't even biblical. The bible states that Jesus would be in the grave for 3 days and 3 nights just like Johah (another weird one) was in the belly of the fish for 3 days and 3 nights. Then weird a$$ christians come up with good Friday and Easter sunday. They don't even know what is in the bible.... they just follow like sheep and if it makes them feel good inside they don't question anything. Another one is the whole baby Jesus in the manger thing.... that isn't biblical either. The bible states that by the time the ''wise men'' found Jesus he was a young child living in a house with his mother.

There are sooo many.

Answer 4

when was a atheist learned in my astronmy class that the Earth formed before the sun. as the nebula shrunk the planets formed first due to being smaller.also all the time the Jewish nation won a battle or were beaten God fortold them. matter of fact told the names of kings that were going to beat them sometimes 60 years before they were destroyed. sometimes before the nation raised to power. even the empires from the north. and the punishiment for rejecting Jesus was is the same for Gentile and Jew.

Answer 5

That Moses wrote the 10 Commandments and the first 5 books of the Bible.

Answer 6

The Bible is a wholesome, family-friendly book. The teacher that told me that obviously never read about Lot in the cave or Jael with her tent-spike.

Answer 7

Daniel in the lions' den. That was a large amount of a brown, disgusting, semi-solid substance that has been eliminated from the digestive tract of a sexually functional male bovine.
.

Answer 8

They run the gamut from telling me that the Torah was written by Moses instead of drawn from several different oral traditions and later redacted into one set of holy writings to telling me that Daniel was apocalyptic "end times" writing instead of a screed about how much everybody hated Antiochus Epiphanes.

Answer 9

The story about Jesus feeding the multitudes with a few fish and a few loaves of bread....completely ridiculous...my seven year old mind always said..."no way!"....I got in trouble on most Sundays for arguing with my Sunday School teachers....

Answer 10

That plants were created before the Sun. I hold that one dear because it led to my loss of faith. At ten I just knew they were lying.

Answer 11

Oh, Balaam's talking donkey tops all. It's awesome.