serious question: If your pastor confessed to having an affair?

Question

how do you think your congregation and elders would handle it
thank you

Answer 1

1 Timothy 3:2 and Titus 1:6 both say that one of the qualifications for a Pastor is to be faithful to his wife.

The Pastor would be dismissed. The elders would try to facilitate a restoration process, but the Pastor would not return to a leadership position.

It would be devastating for the congregation.

Answer 2

Great Question. Tough Question.
Here's the deal. There is a wound there. There is a breach of trust. That has to heal. There are numerous people directly wounded that need healing. The pastor, his wife, his children. The wife with whom the pastor had an affair, her husband (if married) and their children. Now, the church could be graceful and forgiving, but they still have a wound and a breached trust that they would need to grieve through. That's going to take time. Also, the pastor would need to figure out what happened that caused this affair.
Here's a perfect world: the pastor will take a break. He might get some counseling to help figure out what happened. One difference might be whether he comes clean, confesses, and is proactive in his personal healing. Or, if he is found out. If he is found out then there is little chance he'll be able to return to the pastorate.
If he comes clean, gets accountability, counseling, etc. He also might need to not meet with women alone. You have to be careful b/c there actually could be a lawsuit involved if you're not careful.
So, the congregation ideally will move towards healing for both the congregation and the minister. It might be best for both parties if this healing is done separately, but it is cool if it is done together and if the group can move forward together.
It's tough. It really is. People see ministers as a role model. People can forgive, but it is tough when someone you look up to- even if it is very clear that you're not perfect- it's still wounding to watch someone you look up to fall.
The ministry is such an easy place for that to happen. I work for a church and it is something I am aware of and want to work hard so it never happens. I need to prevent it by working on my relationship with my wife, having hobbies, and not meeting alone with women.

Answer 3

This happened to me once well.. let me rephrase.
At one point a long, long time ago before I was born again, I thought I would check out this whole church thing. So I go to a church one Sunday, and the pastor stands up at the beginning of the service and announces his resignation because of the affair he was having with the secretary. The church members and board had decided it was best. And he agreed. I didn't go back to church for some 20 yrs.

In the church I now go to, probably the same thing. The standards and expectations are higher for someone in that place of leadership in the church.

Answer 4

I think some of the older members of the congregation may be able to put something like this aside. However, I wonder how the younger members (ages 14-19) sort these kind of things out. Something like this happened when I was 17, and it made me question supposed spiritual leaders. It kind of hurt me because I knew him personally and trusted him.

Answer 5

As a Christian, I would forgive him straightaway. Hopefully, so would the rest of the congregation. As to how the church hierarchy would handle it, I'm unsure. He may be relieved of his duties, or sent elsewhere, away from the immediate temptation. I'm not sure if he'd be allowed to stay within that particular congregation. That would probably be up to the bishop and other denominational officials.

Answer 6

First of All the Pastor who has had committed to an affair, should confess his sin to his wife, so that healing can take place between both if he still wants to be married to his wife. This pastor s wife would be the one most devastated. because if this man took honor of his marriage vow, no matter how challenging sex can be in front of him of all the temptation he is faced with and knowing the word of God that should be the one thing that should keep him from falling. Now it he becomes tempted he can resist the devil and it will flee, He can rebuke that evil thought and have the strength and courage to pray over his sick mind of sex that is only tempting him. and give it up to God. Now if this pastor let s his sick sex mind to over come his thoughts and let it begin to fester into his heart, than he has already committed it in his self. The second thing he will be brave to do his flaunt into this temptation and act upon it by his sick sex faith and proceed. knowing that the consequences will be great. Now the word of God will be coming forth through his mouth and every word he will be preaching will be all for himself and he needs to take heed of it because it is God that is pouring those word of truth into his spirit to speak out to his congregation. The only person that will know he is funcking up would be his wife cause God will reveal it to her and each move she makes to help him will be useless unless that Pastor comes clean. He will be in bondage as well as his wife.

Answer 7

He would be forgiven of his trespass, but he would have to step down from the ministry.

"Since an overseer is entrusted with God's work, he must be blameless--not overbearing, not quick-tempered, not given to drunkenness, not violent, not pursuing dishonest gain. Rather he must be hospitable, one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined." (Titus 1:7-8)

By his infidelity, the pastor would not be blameless, nor disciplined. He would also have to be publicly rebuked. Concerning elders: "Those who sin are to be rebuked publicly, so that the others may take warning." (I Timothy 5:20)

Answer 8

My church is full of older,(eldery) French Catholic folks, and I hate to say this but, they might have a heart attack from shock. Our priests are young and good looking. All the older priests, have moved on, or retired. The older people would not handle this news well.

Answer 9

i would not be able to keep going in the church[i'm Catholic, we have priests]. i'm sorry, yes you are human, yes i'm sure the devil tempted you but you are in a position that people follow you, they come to you for guidance and you do that crap? i would change churches. i tihnk the old people would forgive but the young ones would not look at you with the same respect as before. i know i wouldnt

Answer 10

I don't have a pastor or a congregation. If my teacher or a priest or priestess in my faith had such, it wouldn't be an issue. They are human, as are the rest of us. Besides, what's wrong with sex as long as you haven't committed yourself to anyone?