I dont want to be the bad guy. my daughters 7 her father has never helped me financially. He has a new baby with another girl and never goes out of his way for our daughter. We try to be friends and it always ends up in a fight. Hes always telling me Hes nt paying for me to do things with his money! Thats not what I want he dosent realize everything I pay on my own for his child. He says he wont talk to me if I file.. Is it worth it.. Or show I just say screw it and file and get the help I deserve. After all I didnt make her by myself...
2007-06-07 12:09:31 · 40 answers · asked by Rootie tootie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You do have a right to ask for child support, especially since he does get to see his daughter. So yeah I would go for it, and maybe make a some kind of deal with him, that it will be put away for like college or something, so that he has some kind of since that it will be used towards her.
2007-06-07 12:18:43 · answer #1 · answered by Linds 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I felt the same way, but if I didn't get the child support, I couldn't afford daycare to go to work. I never raised the amount, which you can do every 3 years, even though he did make more money. It's not easy going threw the court system, but it is there because your child needs it, too many fathers walk out and never look back, or sweet talk their way into never having to worry about the expense of a child. Why should my child have to do without, when his father has a good job and child support is set up to help him have a better life then I could afford as a single mother. Do this for the child.
2007-06-07 12:22:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've noticed something lately....men angry about women filing child support for children they helped create, as if they were somehow duped into lying down and having unprotected sex. Here's a clue for you fellas.....always wrap it up, and you've got no worries, if not, you are RESPONSIBLE for bringing another life into the world. Sadly, because of the way our society is set up they aren't held as accountable as the woman, because the woman has to provide food, shelter, day care, medical everything for a child and a man doesn't have to do a thing except throw a check at the child, and some of them have the nerve to complain about how unfair that is. Please....your daughter deserves as high a quality of life that BOTH her parents can provide. Make him pay. No one rides for free, and he's already getting out of waking up in the middle of the night when she's sick, and school supplies, trips to the doctor, outgrowing clothes, etc. If he can't be responsible for her in any but the minimum way (paying child support) he's a pretty sorry sucker anyway, so I hate to tell you this, but he'll probably quit his job and work under the table just to NOT have to pay. However, I say give it hell trying, go get that order!
2007-06-07 12:25:50 · answer #3 · answered by ultraviolenceland 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By law, your daughter is entitled to the child support. Whether or not he WANTS to pay, whether or not he'll speak to you if he is ordered to pay child support. The fact that he has given you the impression that he won't speak to you if you file tells me he has a lot of growing up to do, himself.
Alot of it is what you want and what resources you have at hand, too.
Can you afford to make ends meet without the support?
Does he maintain any sort of relationship with your daughter?
Your other option, if he won't pay support is to lay it on the line that he either needs to pay support or sign off on his parental rights.
As I see it, he's going to keep on having children with different women and end up not supporting any of his children. And filing for child support doesn't mean he's going to pay it. Sure, they SAY they'll do things like take away his license and so on, but honestly, child support enforcement is very lax.
I say, go ahead and file, get the order but don't hold your breath that you're going to get the support. If you do, it'll be a bonus for you. And if you don't need it all to pay your living expenses, you can start a college fund for your daughter with the money.
2007-06-07 12:30:11 · answer #4 · answered by Darkstar 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is about supporting your daughter into the future. That he has a new baby should not concern you. That he won't talk to you again should not concern you. Those were his decisions.
That he should be helping support the child he brought into this world is all that matters. Definitely file for child support and make sure that your daughter gets the financial support she needs to be taken care of. You should not have to pay for everything.
2007-06-07 12:27:15 · answer #5 · answered by Scrapper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question on child support is one that I struggled with myself. I have custody of both of my children. Yes a man that has custody. I once paid support and did so with no problems and no complaining, why because that is what I was ordered to do. The shoe is now on the other foot and has been for over a year. I do not take money from her because I know that even though I may struggle at times I would rather do it on my own. Her and I make about the same money so why should I create hardships for her and her other babies that she has with other men? There is more to child support than just taking it because you can. Think about all parties involved.
2007-06-07 12:42:46 · answer #6 · answered by single dad 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Child support is the amount of money a parent is required by law to pay to the spouse (or custodial parent) who retains primary custody of the child. Child support is intended for the benefit of the child, and usually pays for:
Food, shelter, and clothing
Health and medical care
Educational expenditures
By him saying that he won't speak to you if you file he is just trying to control you. Your child deserves it and so do you.
Besides, what should it matter if he still speaks to you? He has a new relationship, a new child, a new life. All that should matter between the two of you is your child and what is best for her.
And you can also inform him on what child support truly pays for. If you were single without a child you wouldn't need an extra room, extra food, extra gas and health insurance. So it's only fair if he helps pay for those expenses.
2007-06-07 12:24:32 · answer #7 · answered by soulfulmind_55 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really need his help financially? You've been raising her for seven years now without his help, right? I think that if you really need the financial help, (ie., you're working more than one full time job and/or are getting help from the state) you should go for it and ask for his help. But only ask for what you need. And if he won't give it voluntarily, do what you have to do. You do have the option to just start collecting support from the day you filed instead of going back 7 years, it might soften the blow... You also need to think about the fact that you will be hurting him and his new family financially (probably dramatically) and if you're still on good terms with him, that probably would give him reason to be upset. My fiance is the father of 2 children that he's paying CS for and even though we've accepted the fact that it's something that he's going to have to do for a long time, it still really hurts us financially and effected his credit for a very long time. If you don't really need the money, you should really think about the consequences of what you're thinking of doing... just my thoughts...
2007-06-07 12:37:24 · answer #8 · answered by Daniel G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The purpose of child support is to help take care of the child - food, clothing, housing, education, activities, etc. Both parents are responsible for the welfare of the child - if the father of your child is refusing and you don't force him to be more responsible, you are enabling him to ignore the consequences of his actions AND he'll do the same thing when someone else has one of his babies. He was all over you at the time of conception, and then he avoids you when you need him. How selfish! Don't put up with it. And if you file and he never speaks to you again, count your blessings. Why let him off free and easy while you raise his child?
2007-06-07 12:23:56 · answer #9 · answered by Rainfog 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is his child then he should be responsible for part of her care and expenses. Sorry paid my dues for many years even though the women and I did not speak. The girls where 1/2 mine 1/2 hers and I paid, even though I lived over a 1000 miles away. Making a child is a shared responsibility, paying for that child's upbringing is a shared responsibility. Take him to court, get not only support but back support. If he will not talk to you so what, he has in fact already deserted you, and his child. DO what is best for the child file!!!!!!
2007-06-07 12:23:24 · answer #10 · answered by Pengy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should file, thats somthing your child needs.. Stop thinking about what he wants and what your child needs, who cares if he stops speaking to you, thats just something hes trying to hold over you head so he wont be out any money.
He needs to be a man about it and also a father, and no you didn't make her your self,,,thats what is wrong with the world today, theres to many men out there making babies and not taking responsibility...He might have a baby by another woman and odds are he will do her the same way if they split.
SO do your self some good for your child and yourself.
2007-06-07 12:17:06 · answer #11 · answered by angel 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋