Please do not pass judegement.....?

Question

Ok...I am almost 6 months pregnant, 21 and becoming a single mom. I work full time as a 911 operator, go to school full time at a university...I'm on a scholarship so I have to stay within scholarship terms, therefore I cannot drop to many units.

I eat healthy, I take care of myself.....I do take time to relax when I feel my body needs it.

Just lately, I've been stressing so much....being pregnant is hitting me harder and harder everyday..PLEASE do not get me wrong..I am so excited about having a baby

My problem is, a couple of weeks ago I got really stressed, my babys father tried coming back & physically abused me (of course he is gone for good now) I smoked a cig & I know it's wrong...but now I seem to need one every now and than. AGAIN PLEASE DO NOT JUDGE ME...I know it's wrong but it's so hard to stop being stressed, how bad is this ( I smoke about 3 a day) I used to smoke b4 being preg & quit cold turkey when I found out I was preg.

sorry JUDGEMENT...i type fast.....

sorry JUDGMENT...i type fast.....

Answer 1

My mom smoked through her whole pregnancy with my brother 7 years ago. He turned out just fine.
I myself have never smoked before, but I do understand that it is difficult for smokers to stop, I really wish my mom would, but it is very difficult.
At least you dont drink alcohol. Just be sure to eat healthy, take care of yourself and take prenatal vitamins.

Answer 2

You need to stop. no judgement here, but you need to stop.
I've never had a smoking addiction so I really can't relate to that one VERY difficult aspect of your situation. I'm sorry. But, I have been in your shoes as far as being pregnant , 21, and without a supportive partner. It's such a hard place to be and I can understand why you would want to turn to something to relieve the stress. I would write in a journal about what was going through my head and it helped me to think more rational,help relies stress and just get those emotions out! Those darn pregnancy hormones don't help with rationality!!!!
I hope you have someone, like a family member or friend to talk too.
It doesn't make you a bad person to feel uneasy or contradictory about having a baby, as I have felt ALL, negative and good emotions. If you want to keep this baby, and you want it to be the healthiest possible ( and for your own health too!!) Stop smoking! You did it before, I know you can do it again!. Find a supportive friend. YOU CAN GET THROUGH THIS!
Char
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Answer 3

I know where you are coming from because you want to be as best you can for your baby but you have to remember that cigs are legal and you are not smoking a pack a day. I quit when I found out I was pregnant too and 3 1/2 months later when her dad came back trippin I smoked 3 total and felt guilty but I just needed to relax for a minute ya know. I would say just remember it could be worse... some chicks are out there smoking crack pregnant with twins. If you need one... smoke it but don't stress over that because it defeats the purpose. I really hope you are able to relax enough to where you can cut them off completely again but if not... it's not like you don't love your baby and don't judge yourself!!! Just work hard to make the right decisions ma and feel good when you do!!

Answer 4

Oh, for heavens' sakes!

One cigarette every now and then?

Practically harmless. I don't even think it's "wrong." There's just no proof of harm at such low levels. Beating yourself up over it so thoroughly is much sillier than having the odd puff.

As for the person judging the spelling of judg(e)ment: stop being so goddam American, please.

"The spelling judgment is found in the Authorized Version of the Bible. However, the spelling judgement (with e added) largely replaced judgment in the United Kingdom in a non-legal context. In the context of the law, however, judgment is preferred. In the U.S. judgment strongly prevails. As with many such spelling differences, both forms are equally acceptable in Canada and Australia, although judgment is more common in Canada and judgement in Australia.[1] In New Zealand the form judgment is the preferred spelling in dictionaries, newspapers and legislation, although the variant judgement can also be found in all three categories. In South Africa, judgement is the more common form."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judgment#Spelling

Answer 5

I just want to say congrats for kicking the guy to the curb. Imagine how he will be in the future if he's this bad now! Don't let the child have unsupervised visits with him until he goes to some sort of counciling.

Keep trying to cut out the cigs. Try not to stress. I have found groups on the Yahoo Groups pages to vent to, and they help so much. See if they have a single parent pregnancy group out there.

Try other things to relieve the stress. I swim or read. I love the Pixie stix idea! :-) Otherwise, talk to your doctor and see what their suggestions are.

Answer 6

No one has any right to judge you, you are your own person. I have to be honest Im not proud of myself but in all honesty I smoked when I was pregnant, not a lot, but like you a little. I am pleased to say that I have 4 very healthy "normal" children. Smoking isnt good for you or the baby but abuse by a partner puts both of you at far more risk. You have kicked him to the kerb and I am sure that in time you will kick the tobacco to the kerb too.

Good Luck and be proud of the things that you are achieving for you and your new arrival :))

Answer 7

OK. first.... congratulations on baby, and on quitting and getting rid of Mr jerk! It sounds like you're doing fine. No, smoking is not good for the baby, but at least you're *trying*! I've known many girls around where I live who try for a few days, and give up because "its too hard".

Do you have a support structure? Friends, family you can talk to? When you feel you need a smoke, try doing something physical instead, go for a walk, a swim... you seem to be doing great! Talk about your stress if you can. Chew gum, beef jerky, fruit, nuts... or just hold a straw in your mouth. Pixie sticks worked for one of my friends.

Answer 8

dont beat yourself up, it is bad for the babby. and you have cut back, just continue to cut back. i went back and forth with my BF for a while and there were a couple of times that i did smoke a cig. (im pregnant) and i always felt guilty afterwards. i still do feel guilty for those few cig. i smoked. now that ive quit completely and i havent smoked for some time, i feel a lot better about the babies health. you should leave the guy for good. stress is very bad for babies and the abuse will only continue and get worse and get harder to leave untill years have gone by...

Answer 9

I think you are being too hard on yourself. Give yourself a break - one ciggy won't harm the baby. Try to give up but I know how hard this will be. Try something like Yoga for pregnant women instead or have a nice big mug of hot chocolate (there is only a little caffeine in this so will be okay.)

Answer 10

hey its ok, you are human. But you at least have a job and go to school so good for you. Good to let your babys father go but if he abuses you keep him out. Concentrate on the good in your life, no matter what something bad will always happen but how you deal with it is what will make you strong and will greatly influence your baby. Keep a journal of your struggles and your thoughts just letting that negativity out will help you out. Good luck, so far you are doing great.