My son has been written up and suspended from the bus twice this year. He does not stay in his seat, and fools around constantly. He KNOWS the rules...knows how he is supposed to behave and has proven it more times than not, but when he acts up, he acts horribly. He does not act like this at home because he knows that we will punish him. His father and I both think it MAY be because we are expecting our second child.. (just over 7 years apart when baby is born) and that our son is somewhat jealous of that. He has also attached himself to a little girl on the bus and is very jealous if/when she sits with someone else. He acts out by yelling, screaming, trying to hit the other child..etc...I'm at my wits end, and in the mornings...we have a little "pump up"....."lets have a real good day, let's make good choices...and so on.. One day he's an angel and the next...he's just out of control. The bus driver and I have tried seatbelts...assigned seats...everything. Any advice NOT criticism??
2007-06-07 09:33:55 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I do punish him for things he does on the bus. "keeping him out of school" as springer says to do is ludicris! I want my son to have an education. I'm driving him now for the rest of the school year, which yes will stop the incidents for now, but can't drive in winter. As for the reward systems...been there, done that..worked for like a month. As for him being a bully.. it's not necessarily that...a certain "girl" on the bus plays the boys (came from driver) against one another.. one day she is friends w/ one boy and the next day isn't type thing. I didn't think that happened until middle school. And as for the baby involvement..he is very involved, helps pick out toys,clothes, feels baby kick, etc. And for who asked..it's a boy... what is the point there please? As for wanting attention...he gets plenty of it..and yes some of it is bad attention like when the said girl wants to be someone elses' friend for the day. Just hoping others had different ideas than what we've tried.
2007-06-07 11:23:57 · update #1
Thank you to the people who care about children and try to come up w/ ideas not "easy fixes"...i.e. threats...and such. Thanks again!
2007-06-07 11:25:06 · update #2
P.S. sorry springer... misquoted ur name..up above.
2007-06-07 11:35:56 · update #3
Talking to him daily and reminding him of the rules is a great idea. Remember to be *VERY* specific as to the expectations (i.e. don't hit "Johnny" as opposed to keep your hands to your self.) Be specific as well with the consequences for the "bad" behavior. These should be made clear to him in advance. In addition for the consequences for improper behavior you can reward him for "good" behavior. Also, be consistent. The consequences/rewards must happen every time in order for them to work.
Here are a couple of ideas for rewarding desired behavior:
You can try a sticker chart type thing. It doesn't necessarily have to be stickers...it can be anything tangible (sticker, marble, penny etc--as long as it is a physical item) so that he can actually see his progress. Each day he comes home without being in trouble on the bus have him put a sticker on his chart..penny or marble in the jar etc. When he reaches a predetermined amount--such as 5 stickers-he gets a reward. In the beginning it may need to be small rewards every day. Then gradually work up to longer time frames.
Also, have you thought about and would the bus driver be willing to do a behavior contract? This is where you pick 4 or 5 behaviors (not hitting, staying in seat, not screaming etc.) to work on. If your son does what he is supposed to he gets a happy face, if not he gets a sad face. This is done on a daily basis and can be split up to show how he did in the morning and afternoon. When he brings this "contract" home to you he can earn his stickers or rewards based on how he did.
This does take time and a great deal of patience but it eventually worked for us.
Sorry this was so long but I hope it can help.
2007-06-07 09:53:39 · answer #1 · answered by **=** 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Call the police. I cannot believe that there is any such thing as a "Man up " law since hitting is considered assault. I would call the police and have them investigate the school and the bus driver. Neither of which sound right to me. This is outrageous and disgusting. It is of my opinion that the bus driver was responsible to stop the bus and stop the abuse. He could have called the police rather than have that type of behavior on his bus. This man should be fired so should the principal of the school. Take this to the highest level of power that you can. If you do not get satisfaction after filing a police report first for assault (the children) and then for abuse (the bus driver) who incidentally endangered the welfare of your child..... then I would take this to a private lawyer who is willing to take the case pro bono and let the school and bus driving company take the brunt of the law suit charges....let the %^&*( pay for what they did, and more so because they are giving you the run around and hope that you will go away. Don't, fight the &*(*&%!!!!!
2016-04-01 08:30:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He wants attentions and he is getting exactly what he wants .
He needs to have other punishments besides being kicked off the bus. What does he like doing? Take it away. When he is good let him know that even more. The yelling and screaming gets him the attention , he is seeking. Take him to a counciler , he needs help now!!!!! He is a bully!!!!
He is bullying you to get your attention and you are falling for it and then he acts like this little angel that is so innocent.
You believe these actions. One day of being good does not make a good boy. Get this kid help now, when this baby comes you are in big trouble. He will hurt the baby and it will be an accident and the angel will come out again .
He is learning to get away with his behavior.
2007-06-07 09:53:51 · answer #3 · answered by springer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Great idea, punish him for what he does on the bus. I believe in spanking and I use it when it's appropriate not for everything my son does and he is 5. I punish him by taking his favorite things and things he like to do away from him over a period of time. I would start him off with a week. I would explain to him if he changes his attitude and doesn't get in anymore trouble he will be let off punishment after the week. If he repeats it I will make his punishment days longer like adding 1, 2, 3, and more until he learns how to act. It works
I would also recommend talking to your school bus driver and ask could you give her a weekly behavior sheet that she can give to you at the end of the week. Don't give it to your child to bring home it will never get there. You can monitor his behavior and he will know it as well.
2007-06-07 09:48:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like my son when he was 6 and had to take the school bus. You need to get a handle on this now because if he continues to get away with it, it will only get worse. Is there anything you can give him to take on the bus with him that he enjoys? Not all kids are able to sit still for long period of time and I know what I get like if I am waiting in the doctors office. I find I get ancy and I am an adult. I can only imagine what it would be like for the kids. I also think it is the drivers responsibility to keep the kids toned down. Talk to the driver and see what kind of consequence your son will get for misbehaving while on the bus. What kind of consequences does he have at home when he misbehaves? They should be the similar and have to stay consist ant in order for it to work. He has to know exactly what will happen if he misbehaves and be specific with him and the most important follow through it.
Please make sure you include him in with the baby. He may feel left out. When you are talking about the baby include him in the conversation and listen to what he has to say about it and explain things to him.(age appropriate of course). Let him know that the baby needs him to. Get him to help you out, with the baby, in any way you can and let him know he is a big boy for helping you.
2007-06-07 10:01:31 · answer #5 · answered by CARM 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a 4 year old and kinda understand it really could be the jealousy of the baby coming. Maybe you should talk to his pediatrician or school counselor or even a therapist just for some advise on how to handle it. If it's not jealousy and he's just acting out try punishing him every time the bus driver has a problem maybe he'll get the hint to be good on the bus.Good luck with him and the new baby
2007-06-07 09:42:51 · answer #6 · answered by jenn p 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe this is a sort of attention thing, but he isn't doing at home so thats strange. As far as his behavior is concerned maybe you should make sure he knows this is NOT acceptable behavior for him. He also needs to know that hitting other children is not acceptable either. Also check and see what he is eating on the days he is acting up, sometimes certain foods make children act out because of unknown food allergy's. You should be targeting good behaviors with him and focusing as little as possible on the negative behaviors. there is also a character building childrens book series that is VERY good! The author is a wonderful man and he writes about a lot of good topics. Education through creation books. they are also decient priced thats somewhere to start. the website is below the author is jim marks and he has some awsome messages for children!
www.seventhsunproductions.com
2007-06-07 09:55:20 · answer #7 · answered by Bonnie K 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey, him acting up could distract the driver and cause an accident. You need to give him harsh consequences. A lot of people won't do this because they think it's mean, but I say do it. Tell him the next time he acts up on the bus, that you are taking all his toys, tv, video games out of his room for one week. All that should be in there are his bed, furniture, sheets and clothes. And follow thru if he acts up on the bus by actually doing it. Kids seem to be led by their material possessions these days, and taking them away or the threat of may work. God Bless and good luck.
2007-06-07 09:51:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ialso have a 6 yr old that we have had problems with, just like yours. I also do the pep talk before school!! And, I also have a younger child. This is what is working for us. My son has to get a sticker everyday for 5 days, & if he gets his 5 stickers for the week, he is allowed to pick out what he wants(within reason) from the toy store. Now, every weekend I get him pumped by going over toys in the sale papers we get & I say, well if you get all your stickers this week, you can get that toy next friday. Try that, it usually works!! Good Luck!! Just gotta find what works for you
2007-06-07 11:54:20 · answer #9 · answered by chrissyb 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sounds like you have your hands ful there mom!
ummm well a few suggestions, one start charting every time he acts out, chart the foods he's eating, and what happended on the bus. you may see something there.
it is very possible with the second baby on the way he's acting out because of that.
There is something called rescue remidy, you can find it at your natural foods store. It works wonders. it's Bach Essences. Good luck
2007-06-07 09:42:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋