Do you think it is fair that I take away my daughters phone when she gets a B or lower?

Question

It was are agreement when I bought it for her. She is going into 7th grade but her friends that have phone still have their phones when they get D's! That shocked me but I don't know if I should lighen up?

Answer 1

B's? Thats a little harsh. you only expect perfection?

Answer 2

If that was the agreement then you should take it. Otherwise, she'll not believe you in the future when you make deals with her-she'll expect you to back down. However, there are some other things to consider. Is your daughter a student who normally gets all A's? I ask because a B is a good grade and it seems kind of harsh. If maybe you are thinking it is harsh and would like to change the rules, you should have a talk with her and point this out. Tell her that, after thinking on this, you've decided that maybe you stated rules that are too harsh. Getting a B would be ok, but couldn't go below that-expect that she may think you'll do this in the future-so be prepared. However, if this is a child who always gets A's and you've seen a decline, stick to your guns. She agreed to the rules-maybe she's slacking off. Only you know your child and what she is capable of. One last note-I'd never, ever make my decisions on how to raise my children based on what everyone else is doing. I've found that most people aren't raising their kids-they just coexist in the same household. Teaching your child values, morals, and commitment will last her a lifetime-and come in handy when she's an adult.

Answer 3

Id say lighten up a bit, a B isnt a bad grade. I dont know if taking her cell phone away is a good idea unelss of course shes abuseing the privlage and calling to nowheres-ville for long amounts of time and making a very high phone bill. Maybe, If the cell phone is her best friend take that away for a night and the TV or anythign entertainmentable and tell her shell get it back if she studies. Thats the best I can come up with.

Answer 4

Ok Im 17 and I can see both sides. Getting a B on a report card or whatever is still above average. I would let her keep her phone tils Cs start showing up. Theres nothing wrong with being an A B student, besides It'll give you both a win win situation. Dont allow her to have it if she has Cs or Ds and tell her you dont care what her friends have, they shouldnt be failing either. Middle School is so easy and she needs to build the responsibility to be able to handle high school. So I agree with you and using the phone as a punishment but I think if she gets As and Bs thats ok.

Answer 5

if i were you, i would let her keep her phone until she gets a c. and even then, let her earn it back if she works harder or gets a better grade. by taking it away for getting a b, youre telling her that only perfection is acceptable, nothing less. all its doing is setting her up for failure, since nobody is perfect. shell resent you for it, and its just create unnecessary tension between the two of you. while you do need to create some boundaries, whats very important during these middle/high school years is making sure that you have a good relationship with your child. by taking her phone away for getting a b, shell simply become angry with you. if you really want to, you can restrict her phone privileges. tell her she cant send text messages anymore, or she can only use a certain number of minutes per month. but if i were in your shoes, i wouldnt go much further than that.

Answer 6

Do you want to parent your child or be her friend? If she agreed to the terms of getting a phone I would stick by it. If however, you think you were wrong and want to revise the agreement then tell her that. Personally, if she is capable of getting A's and B's I would keep the original terms but if she is doing her best and not able to get all A's and B's then I would revise the terms to all grades must be above a C. That is the terms most schools have to participate in sports so I think that is fair, but not if she is not working up to her capabilities. Be strong, be consistent, your daughter needs a Mom, not another friend....that's for when she's an adult. I wish you well.

Answer 7

I can see your idea in trying to get her to get better grades in school, but you could be being a bit harsh. Especially as she goes into higher grades, it'll be harder and harder to maintain a straight-A average.

Not only that, but you are imposing on her unnecessary pressure. By doing this, you encourage her to think that marks are everything. But in reality, the marks you get in school don't have a direct relationship with how well you will do in life.

Lighten up a bit on her. Instead of taking away her phone, TALK to her about her grades if they drop significantly. If the drop is because of her using the phone too much, then you should consider taking the phone away.

But your current agreement, in my opinion, is harsh and not very realistic.

Answer 8

I can understand it if she was in a higher grade but Bs are a good grade in gr. 7 and she is not going to like you even though it was an agreement. I would say take it from her with Ds and down and give her a chance at Cs but love her when she brings home a B and she will probably improve but take the Bs cause that just might be the only ones you will see in the future.

Answer 9

You have to be reasonable. So what you're saying is that she has to get an "A" in every subject in order to attain and keep a phone. If you repeatedly set these standards for her she's will eventually develop a failure complex and could either stop caring to please you completely or work for herself or she could stress herself out to an unhealthy point and never really work to achieve something good for herself but just becuase she feels she has to and never really feel worth. You should lighten up. Lots of parents don't stop to think if they're being reasonable and what the affect of the demands may be.

I have personal experience w/ a reward given if I get all "A's" and I just couldn't achieve it 100% ( I got all A's and a B) and my parents were ruthless. After all my hard work I didn't get the least bit recognition or this big reward I tried so hard for. I eventually just stopped caring & got the grades I didn't have to try too hard for and some I didn't try at all for (F's). This was how they treated everything and I started to really just stop working to achieve something for myself and started feeling like I just had to do it. So as a child, I said "screw it".

Answer 10

School is hard sometimes...you have to understand your daughter will have sometimes have lower then a b. as long as u kno she is studying and doing her best to pass thats all the matters. Maybe if she having trouble with her grades you should help her or get her a tutor. A B is a really good grade. I could see if she was barely passing to take away her phone. You need to lossen up a little.

Answer 11

I'm 33 and have no children but I was raised with a firm hand with a very strict private school in addition. I do not understand why she even has a phone so young. I had one in high school (big, klunky Motorola flip phone) but I was to use it only in case of emergency and I only had it when I wasn't with my parents. My parents believed there were better things for me to do with my time than stay indoors and talk on the phone or watch tv or play Atari. I think however if you've let jer have a phone, you have your reasons and a B grade is a bit harsh for you to take away the privilege you're bestowed to her.