Long Distance Relationship?

Question

I am in a long distance relationship with someone that has some serious depression issues, he has manic deppression and he is bi polor. ive been in this relationship for over a year and it really is getting HARD. i am 15 and he is 20. he is an ex drug attic,and i have no way of contacting him, and he gave me pictures once, but they were F A K E ! well i think you understand the main PROBS.

but really, i do love him, but i am 15, he is doing a whole lotta drug therapy and stuff and well i am a hella stoner, so he does not like it when i smoke weed. so he always tries to keep home and talk to him on the phone, but i am a teenager and i should get out and do "TEENAGE" things...

but the real problem is.. is that its really hard to live without him, but when i am with him it is hard too... so what can i do...?

im afraid that if i leave him for good that he will commit sucide or go back to doing drugs... he tells me his life is in my hands.

:[

PLEASE HELP!

-sara

Answer 1

Your problem here is not a long-distance relationship. Your problem is that you are dating a lying, deceitful ex-con who, legally, shouldn't even be with you anyway.

Yes, you are a teenager. Go out and do teenage things, and stay away from this guy. He is trouble.

Answer 2

I dont think anyone WANTS to have a long distance relationship. Life happens and gets in the way, you just have to work around it. If someone wants to be with their long distance BF or GF enough/or they love them enough, they will move to where the other person is and quit the long distance thing. Those people who have relationships over the internet or out of state "just because" are probably wasting their time. Long distance relationships wont last if there isnt commitment.

Answer 3

Sara,

I know it is hard to hear that at 15, you are too young to be in love. What you feel you may think is love, but trust me, True love is not this complicated nor does it hurt so bad.

You are faced with a really adult situation here. I think you did the right thing is asking for help.

So here is my 2 cents:

1) His life is not in your hands, it is in his hands. He is emotionally blackmailing you by threatening to take his life. He probably has no intention of committing suicide, but if he does (I know this is hard to hear) IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! You can't be responsible for the actions of others, only your own actions.

2) As a 20 year old man, he should know better than to get involved with someone your age. Add to that the fact that he sent you fake photos and tries to keep you on the phone so you won't go out, and it sounds to be like he is just looking for someone to control and manipulate.

3) This is not a "long distance relationship." I hate to tell you but in long distance relationships people actually see each other in person every month/few months. That fact that a year has gone by and you have not seen each other in person once again leads me to think he just wants to control and manipulate you.

4) This is by far the hardest one to hear... He does not love you. No one that truly loved someone would hold them hostage by emotionally blackmailing them by threatening to take their own life. Nor would they send fake photos, or let a year go by without meeting face to face.

Get this man out of your life, you deserve better Sara. And until true love comes along, enjoy being a teenager and going out and having fun.

More than anything, true love is about laughing with each other, being each other's biggest cheerleaders, and wanting the best for the person you love. NONE of these things apply to your current "relationship."

Love yourself enough to believe that you deserve real true love, and I promise it will come eventually.

You can contact me if you need someone to talk to... foxxyangel29 (at) yahoo.ca

All the best...

~Foxxy

Answer 4

what ur parents think of u going out with a 20year old ex druggie? my parents would hit the roof. You are right u should be out doing TEENAGE things at 15 that aint smoking weed. If u really love him u WILL stop smoking weed, he is doing the right thing and trying to get off drugs, ur throwing it back in his face smoking weed, if u really love him work together cause u will both be feeling the same without drugs. be safe x

Answer 5

hey, you are 15 so it is not for you to be responsible for his life. Leave him. You do not want to be with a drug addict and how can you say " cant live without him"? You are living without him since you ahve not met him. You need to get out and mix with those of your age and not a 20 year old. You are a teenager once so make the best of it or yuo wil live to regret fot the rest of your life.

He is not going to committ suicide nor is he going back on drugs. Besides, what makes yuo so sure that he is not on drugs now. Yuo are very naive. Leave him before you ruin your life!

Answer 6

Tell him that he needs to focus just on him so he can get better and get help, and you two need a break. You have to be strong, he won't do anything, he just says this for attention, trust me, point out that if he kills himself...then you two can never be together. Take a break from eachother, he can't keep using you as a crutch, and you shouldn't be made to feel guilty. Someone that truley loves you will want to put you before themselves, and won't want to make you feel guilty. If you were meant to be together, it will work out, even with a break. Please let him go, it'll be hard, but it will be so worth it in the end.

Answer 7

well first of all you should not be with a 20 year old because that is illegal... second... you are to yound to have to deal with issues like that... the fact that you only 15 years old does not help... you can only do so much and the fact that it is along distance relationship is even worse.. you cant even drive yet... what do you mean fake pictures.. do you know what he looks like...you need to get away from him because there is honestly nothing you can do to help him.. he needs help and he should turn to his family and friends for help... not a 15 year old child. ( No offense.) that is my opinion... i have been in a relationship when i was 16 he was 23... i know how it works but honestly its not healthy for you to have to deal with this ...

Answer 8

a few years ago i was in your shoes. I was dating a guy about 5 years older than me, i was into drugs, and he was trying to recover. i tried to be there for him, i didn't want to be someone who turned my back on him. after a while, i realized that he was only holding me back. i constantly spent my time worrying about him and being concerned that if i did something wrong, he would do something crazy and it would be my fault (he was the same way..his life was in my hands). the best thing to do is to cut off ties with him. i know it will be hard. but you have to remember to, that he is trying to get clean and you are still using drugs. that's not good for him either, it will only stall his recovery. i know you think you are in love, and you are concerned for his well-being since he so selfishly tells you that it is in your hands. just let him go, it will truly be for the best. i know that is not the advice you want to hear, but from experience, i can tell you, its the best thing. you will only regret it later otherwise.

Answer 9

At 15 I think you are too young to consider a long distance relationship. If you can't drive there's no point in trying to make it work..... you can't walk to see him all the time.

Answer 10

HIS life is NOT in YOUR hands. Whatever he says/does is HIS decision. He needs to seek help for his problems. And I dont mean to sound harsh, but you need to acquire maturity and experience before taking such serious life's decisions.
You are not of legal age to do so.