My father in law wanted me to be his best friend. But I always thought that its not a good idea because a best friend comes before everything. so I told him that I need a father rather than a Friend. I know that best friends share all their secrets & problems with each other. I am now married and believe that my Husband is only my best friend and if I have anything to share he should be the first one to know it, not someone else. My mother in law is also some old fashion person and I do not know what meaning they will draw from my father in law being my best friend....and I also do not know how will my husband will react about this friendship,although this friendship would have been very pour but might have not been seen in a right sence...My father in law has asked me many times are you my friend and I never responded because I was not comfortable being his best friend. But I feel bad coz I let him down...He cares about me alot..did I do a right thing?? Please advice
2007-06-07 08:32:19 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I want to tell all about this to my Husband. But I am afraid if this will create any misunderstandings between us or them...they are very close to each other and I want them to be that way forever...
2007-06-07 08:33:28 · update #1
I told him that I do not like to lable it, but he wasn't happy with that.
2007-06-07 08:34:26 · update #2
I do not like to hide anything from my husband and he knows that too...but this one I do not know why I could not tell him....But now I really want him to know what I am going through...Is it fair with my FIL
2007-06-07 09:27:11 · update #3
Dude your father in law is TRIPPIN! WTF i've never heard a weirder thing ever. Sounds like your father in law want to have sex w/you or something. Tell your husband! This sounds really creepy to me.
2007-06-07 08:36:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time he asks you if your his friend, tell him Yes I am your friend because you gave me the best friend I ever had.Your son. Let your husband know that it makes you feel uncomfortable, don't lie but don't make a huge deal out of it. Now if he touches you in a wrong way then put a stop to it. It is always good to be friends with your in laws' , but like humans do sometimes we get confused and make mistakes. Open your heart and trust that he is a good guy. I mean he is your husbands father right? God Bless
2007-06-07 08:41:51 · answer #2 · answered by Vickie K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While it may seem like a difficult situation, perhaps you need to stop putting so much pressure on yourself. "Best friend" is merely a title. If you want my personal opinion, you have a closer relationship with your husband than you do with your father in law. But I feel it might be the best for all three of you to sit down and have a serious talk, outlining what your relationship is with your husband, and how you respect both of your in-laws as you would a part of your family. If your father in law is pressuring you too much, gently but firmly let him know how you really feel about the position you're in. Good luck.
2007-06-07 08:37:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are right to feel strange about it. I have never heard anything like it and it sounds like he wont let up and leave you alone about it. In marriage, everything must be shared to have it work well and I know you are afraid of ruining your husbands relationship with his father but really, it is your father in law who will be at fault for harrassing you about you being his best friend so do you think it would be good if you just asked your husband what you should do about it? If his father asks you again, I would simply say YOU ARE MY FATHER IN LAW! period. no explanation or apologies for not being best friends or anything that he could further argue with. I think you need to stand up for yourself and do not be intimidated. This is serious.
2007-06-07 08:55:53 · answer #4 · answered by barthebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing to tell your husband. You tell your father in law you love him, respect him and do not mind being his daughter in law and friend period. When someone confides something to you its between you and that person. Now if something is being confided to you that causes a danger or a life n death situation then yes you can tell your husband until then I dont see the probem. If he has been a good father in law and has always respected you --- girl enjoy the relationship. Its great to have your husband has your best friend, but face it there are certain things we cant tell our husband because they just dont understand.
2007-06-07 09:14:31 · answer #5 · answered by beliz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you should just be straight with your father in law next time and respond yes/no and why (why being what you've already said in your q). If he carries on asking after that then there might be something wrong, and you should tell your husband. Otherwise don't do anything... unless you feel really bad, then talk to your father in law, and be honest.
2007-06-07 08:42:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you are misunderstanding him. If he is asking, "are you my friend" all the time it sounds like he is using it as a figure of speech or just a passing remark.
If he is actually coming right out and saying that he wants to be your "best friend" then that sounds kinda creepy.
If I were to guess I would say that you are reading more into it than is meant.
2007-06-07 08:38:59 · answer #7 · answered by m_c_m_a_n 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are correct to stop this friendship quest of your father-in-law's. I say this because you tell us that divulging this to your husband (your true BFF, you are accurate in your conviction there) is making you worried and uncomfortable. Your instincts are telling you that this FIL's desire to be your BF is inappropriate. I believe that you should trust your instincts on this. Eventually, you should discuss it with your husband if your FIL continues pressing you for friendship and if it continues to make you very uncomfortable. Good luck!
2007-06-07 08:37:24 · answer #8 · answered by Shibi 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you had better stay away from this man he sounds like a pervert and I would be very weary of being alone with him . and yes you are right your husband is your best friend . I would also tell my husband what has happened and let him take care of it . good luck .
2007-06-07 08:35:55 · answer #9 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a very unusual request. I'd say borderline inappropriate. If you don't feel comfortable with it, then your father in law has no right to be upset with you.
Your husband is the one you can tell anything to. Please tell him about this. The two of you can find a way to face this together.
2007-06-07 08:36:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why does he want to be your best friend? Isn't his wife suppose to be that? It sounds like maybe he doesn't have anyone to talk to and feels comfortable speaking to u. Ask him why he whats to be best friends. And whatever the answer is, tell him that u have one, your husband.
2007-06-07 08:41:06 · answer #11 · answered by Kimberley G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋