How do you get over grief? I just placed a baby for adoption.It has been hard emotionally.?

Answer 1

You don't. If you went through an agency, see if they offer counseling.

Answer 2

Of course you are grieving, you made the ultimate sacrifice, and you deserve to feel the way you do. I can tell you this, what you gave to another couple can never ever be repaid in any shape, fashion or form. I guarantee you this.........He/She is being loved like no other....They are doing EVERYTHING they can to make sure that baby has everything he/she needs.

Do you have an open adoption? If so, you can send pics and letters to the agency, or possibly through the legal avenue you went through for the adoption. If not, start journaling. Journaling is soothing, but also, puts your thoughts and emotions right there in front of you. Take walks, join a support group! Most agencies offer meetings for birth parents, you may find this is one of the most rewarding things you can do for yourself, to interact with others,just like you.

I hope that you feel better about your decision soon. You will always think of your child, that is the hardest part. Hopefully one day you will reflect back on this, and know that what you had to do, was best for you and for your child. I wish you Peace.

Answer 3

It really isn't a question on how do you get over grief. It is more about how do you deal with it and have good days to go with the bad. It has been 3 years and I have an open adoption. It is tough. You go thru cycles were you are up and then you are down.
Did you go thru an agency? I ask because many offer post placement counseling and depending on the agency the aparents pay for an x number of visits.
Can you go to your doctor and try medication? Again, many of done this and it isn't a stigma.
I belong to anumber of groups and when I am having a really hard day I go to one in particular and vent and let everything out and I know there will be others there who know what I am going thru and don't give me the answers I don't want to hear.
I hate to say it but I read many of them here. Through this group I have met some really amazing women and have made anumber of friends.
(((HUGS)))

Answer 4

First, I wish I could give you a hug right now. :) You must really be going through a ton of emotions. Do you have anyone you can talk to - perhaps someone thru the agency or the church? Most agencies have counselors for this sort of thing. If you did not use an agency, call the hospital where you gave birth and ask if they have someone that can help. Many times they have programs available or may even be able to put you in touch with other bio-moms.

I wish there is something I could say to you right now to make you feel better, but I know there isn't. But I am sending hugs your way. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't say an extra prayer for all of you wonderful women who have made an adoption plan for your child. It is what has allowed me to become a Mother. Thank you. :)

Answer 5

Honey, the grief process can be as hard or as 'easy' as you choose it to be. Placing a child is very difficult for many people. I did go thru a grief process, but it was short-lived--mainly because I know in my heart and believed in my heart that this was the best choice for everyone around.
I chose his parents. I wanted people just like my folks who chose me to adopt.
Best thing I've ever done in my life because I knew that I wasn't ready to be a mother, I didn't want to be a mother yet.
Best for him because I wasn't ready.
Best for his family--my God they're awesome!! Wonderful people.
Best for my now husband. He wasn't ready either.


It takes time. Every year is an anniversary. And every year I make a choice to celebrate the fact that he's where he should be. I celebrate that he's an awesome kid, that he's healthy, happy, smart, loving, caring. Sure, there's some brief sadness, but that's overridden by the fact that he's loved by his family. 18 years have come and gone. He's a grown man now. He's talented, smart, hard working, loving, and he's loved. I thank God for his parents every day.

Answer 6

It will take you some time. Even grandmothers grieve over over an adopted child. However the knowledge that what you have done is in the childs best interest should help you, also the knowledge that when that child is 21 you may be able to get together if you both want to. From my experience most adopted children while still loving their adopted parents wish to find their birth Mother. It seems to be a fundamental need and most are able to have a loving relationship with them. Most people who adopt really really want to love and raise a child that should ease your mind.

Answer 7

when I placed my child for adoption 10 yrs ago, I just kept it in mind that I gave her the best life I could, a small comfort I know, but she was more important than anything else. I also made a pact with myself that I would only grieve 2 days a year where I would allow myself to feel the sorrow and loss, her birthday and Mothers Day. Now it is done, you can not change it, you can however set goals and work towards achieving them. My goal was that the next time I got pregnant, I would be in a position to care for my child on every level. It's taken 10 years, but she has a brother who is 2 months old, and I am mom! Hang in there. It will never be easy, but it does hurt less over time.

Answer 8

One never gets over grief but we just learn to cope a little easier as each day passes by. I'm so sorry that you had to make the choice you did but you must have done so, after giving it great thought. Of course it's been hard on you emotionally & that's understandable. As painful as it was for you, just have faith & believe that what you did was the best thing for your baby. I hope the days to come will be easier for you to bare. Here's a big hug!!!! :)

Answer 9

You can't just 'get over grief' ... even for a baby you have put up for adoption. Unfortunately, there are 'greif support groups' only for people who have 'lost' someone due to 'death' ... but if you could get some books on the 'Grief Process' and read those, they may 'help you' get over your own grief. And THANK YOU FOR YOUR GENEROSITY! By giving your 'baby' away you have made a couple extremely happy ... and I'll pray that you will be able to 'be happy' again soon, too.

Answer 10

I don't know your reasons for giving your baby up for adoption, but I think you are a very brave and loving mother! To do this must have been so hard and yet you have made someone soooo happy. More than likely you will always greive though I hope your pain lessens with time. Talk with a close friend and take the time to keep a journal. Write in the journal at least 1 a week and make your letters to your child! If he or she comes looking for you on their 18 b-day then let them have it. That way they will know they were ALWAYS first and foremost in your heart and mind!

Answer 11

It is very hard to cope with it emotionally. The hardest think is, that you will never ever get completely over it. No matter how hard you try you will always think of the baby ? But take it from the other side. You have made someone very happy, and they will love your child from all the heart. My friends adopted that way a little boy (they new biological mother, it went through a lawyer ) and he is all they have, they will love him till the end of their lives. Wishing you good luck !!!