How would you interpret this stuff that my bf says? I need a guy's point of view please!?

Question

Okay, we've been together 4 years. He's 24. He says that everywhere we go, or he goes, there are beautiful women looking at him like they want him, and, being beautiful, him being a guy, he wants them too. Sometimes he goes in to way too much details about how they flirt and what he likes about them, skin color, eyes, body, etc...He gets all whiny about how perfect some oportunities are, and that he can't take them. That if I was ok with him being with others it would be awesome. Of course he knows i'm not. He also says that I'm too tall for his taste (we're the same height) and too old. (I'm a year older than him). At other times he picks stupid fights with me, he says they're my fault, but i can tell he does it just 'cause he's bored or something. But he stays with me, and says he cares about me. I don't know if I should cut him loose to let him "enjoy his youth", 'cause it seems to me he suffers way too much for not sleeping around. Or should i stay and be grateful he's honest?

Answer 1

He sounds like a piece of **** who doesn't care about you anymore. I joke around with my girlfriend about how hot some girls are, she does the same with me (especially with soccer players...), but we do it because we are each others' best friend and we are together so much that we take on that friendly role....and we are comfortable and trust each other.

He is taking this too far. Like he may be asking for your permission, without asking.

Don't worry if you are ever too tall or not good enough, starting to blame yourself will be the worst thing you could ever do.

Tell him how you feel and if he doesn't change, he needs to be let go....seriously...this is abuse.

Answer 2

Stay and be greatful that he is honest?? Look, what he wants you to do is either stay with him and be there in dry spells and have an open relationship--thats if he were to be OK with you dating other men (if he were to bang other women), or to have you break up with him because he doesn't have a set large enough to be the "jerk" of the relationship (even though he is definitely being one) and end it because he thinks that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. He isn't being honest with you...he isn't even really being honest with himself. He is trying to manipulate the situation.

He seems to be putting you in a position that if you do stay with him, and you don't comply with his request of seeing and being with others, he will turn resentful--but he isn't letting you go either. Again, he wants you to be the bad guy here, so he can blame you in the long run if things dont go just right. He has started to pick fights and he tells you this obviously offensive, seemingly indifferent and KNOWINGLY hurtful commentary. If he doesn't know that this is hurtful, he is an idiot. We ALL know that this kind of commentary is definitely not appropriate. Again, he knows this too, deep down.

If you stay with this guy, you will not develop any kind of a real relationship with someone that is going to be treating you right. The next time he complains, pack up (if you live with him) and say "alright, have fun" (in a calm and non-confrontational tone--don't fight...don't bicker...don't feed into any argumentative state that he might try to throw your way), and just walk away from him. Don't write him, don't call him, don't make the initiative to communicate with him any longer. He doesn't deserve it. If he comes crawling to you, which I honestly would be really surprised if he did, I would then tell him, as briefly and to the point as possible, "Uh, we aren't dating or going out any more. Don't talk to me. Good bye." and walk away.

Answer 3

At 60 years old there are more healthy women than men, if you were 60, then I can see you sticking with someone that is taking you for granted like this guy. I wouldn't think it's right, but I'd understand it.

If you do stay together he'll never get over this. When he's 90 he'll be talking about the women he missed to stay with you. I'd ask if that's what you want from a husband. If you can't see him as a husband, then why waste your time.

Your time is running out, don't waste it on someone that plays games.

Answer 4

Well, I'm a guy and I could never imagine saying ANY of those things to my girlfriend, so, when I read this the first thing that I think is "cut him". But, it's obviously not that simple.

It kind of seems like he's trying to make you jealous or that he feels attention deprived. Maybe he just feels like you aren't interested in him anymore. Are the two of you still happy together?

Although I am lacking in years of life experience, I don't think that honesty trumps happiness in a relationship situation, so don't just settle for that. I'm sure that you could find someone who is honest and makes you happy.

Well, good luck with everything. I hope that I could at least help a little bit.

Answer 5

Sounds like you love him. With that assumption your decision will be tough but also obvious. He is lusting and wanting to play the field.

You will not be able to stop him no matter how innocent he appears. I believe you have given him all you can and now he wants more. Please don't get hurt. Take care of business as soon as you can.

As for playing around and staying with you, that crap is stupid. He just wants to keep the best thing going until something better comes along.

Be your own best friend. Look at him for what he is..........the grass always looks greener on the other side of the mountain but it still needs mowed.

Answer 6

Next time he says he wants to be with someone else, call his bluff. Tell him to help himself but you will not be there when he gets back. Now that you have dumped the bum...

find your self a guy that will devote himself to making you happy and you do the same for him. That is what relationships are all about. Sounds like you are in a one way romance with current bf. He is devoted to making himself happy.

Cut him loose before it is too late. Write off the last 4 years. 10 years from now you will be so happy you did.

Answer 7

I'd say he's exactly like pretty much 100% of men on the planet Earth. You should be glad he's being honest -- men want to sleep around, that is their natural state. Any guy who tells you differently is lying. What to do about it? I don't know, this is a question that has plagued the human race since it's very beginning... I say let him fool around with other girls and get yourself a couple secret lovers that you don't have to feel guilty about ;)

Answer 8

I wouldn't be that greatful for his brutal honesty (meaness) but yes, it's nice he is that honest with you (almost to the point of stupidity).
I have been through this with two guys I have dated and it's their insecurities and jealousy issues. And the fact that he is putting down is to make you feel bad about yourself. This is to make him feel better about himself.This and the fact he tells you about all the hotties who want him is to probably make you feel grateful to have him and to make you insecure and jealous to feed his ego.
Also he may need a woman who just loves him so much she won't mind sharing him with others to keep him around (see narcicism below : )
This guy wouldn't be with you if he didn't find you attractive and find positive qualities about you.
He is just messing with your head and it's up to you to decide if you want to put up with it.
It would be rather interesting to see his reaction if you dumped him. I seriously wonder if he would go for all the women who he think are hot and want him. My guess is that it wouldnt be as much fun.
My advice is (and I have done this) to check out other men in front of him and do what he does. My guess is that he wont like it.
As for an open relationship, he most likely has problems with commitment and being close to someone.
It may also be helpful to you to look up narcisism personality disorder or the traits of it.
* I know you wanted advice from men but I had to answer. It took me a long time to figure out why men do this.

Answer 9

Both, you should be glad that he's honest with you. However, it also sounds like he doesn't want to stick around, and perhaps feels trapped.

I know it sucks, but it seems like the best advice would be to break-up. Neither of you are looking for the same thing. It sounds like you're looking for a more permanent mate, while he still wants to sow some wild oats.

Answer 10

Well i think he really does love you otherwise why wuld he stay with you for 4 years ... he could have gone out with some girl thats beautiful and flirts with him lmao!! right he knows he messes with you probably to get more attention from you so tell him you love him if he startes to talk about that lol eventually he will stop.