do adoptive parents know why their child was put up for adoption?

Question

do they usually?

Answer 1

These days, most adoptive parents know why their child was placed for adoption. Cases where no one would really know why a child was placed include the parents exercising their rights under some state's safe haven laws.

I know why my children were placed for adoption because we are in an open adoption with their birthmother. We have had long discussions about her decision and her dreams for her children.

There are so many reasons children are placed for adoption.

Answer 2

I find it interesting that so many people (certainly not all) see "all similar" situations from the same perspective. There are SOOOOO many types of adoptions yet people who only know that one little nitch to which they belong assume all situations are the same. They are as varied as the stars in the sky. They are not exactly the same because their siutuation is not the same and the parents who relinquished them are not the same. People who have no experience with internation or foster adoption see all adoptions as if they were infant adoptions. People close to foster adoption see things through the foster care system. International adoption folks see it through those eyes.

Regarding how much the adoptive parents know about why the child was placed for adoption, the truth is some know exactly, some have an idea and some have no clue. There are even some who make it up because their child needs to know (I don't recommend that).

I wish all adoptive parents and children knew the truth about their adoptions and the circumstances which brought it to pass but it is wishful thinking. In some cases it is better for the children not to know if their birth parents were not compassionate and harbored negative feelings towards the child.

Just my opinion.

Answer 3

It depends on the situation. If you are adopting internationally, you can generally assume that the child was relinquished by the birth parents because of poverty, or cultural issues. For example, in Korea it is considered completely unacceptable to raise a child as a single parent, and the child is considered a "nonperson." In China, there is the "one child" policy, so most people who have a second child must give it up, or pay heavy government fees.

In a domestic adoption, the majority of infants are relinquished by young, single birthmothers who feel unable to parent a child. If adopting through the foster care system, in most cases parental rights have been terminated due to neglect or abuse of the child.

These are all general reasons that children are given up for adoption. In some cases, it's not possible to determine the individual reason that the birth family did not keep the child.

Answer 4

Yes, typically they do. And the correct "adoption language" is "and adoption plan was made"....children are not "put up".

My son was born to parents who could not take care of his rare disorder. The state placed him with his biological grandparents and encouraged them to adopt him rather than having him be placed in foster care. However, the grandparents because of their age and their own health issues felt uncomfortable with becoming "parents" again, so they found us. Most of the adoptive families that I know have an "idea" as to why an adoption plan was made for their child, except in the case of international adoption - then it becomes a little more complicated.

Answer 5

First off let me say that Kacky you are wrong. I am adopted along with the rest of my 4 siblings. There are many many reasons as to why a child is put up for adoption. And in pretty much every case, adoptive parents do know why the child was put up for adoption. It is written in the case files. They document everything now and it's easy to find out.

Answer 6

If the agency or attorney is ethical and full disclosure, yes! It is required as part of the adoption plan to determine why a birthmother is placing a child for adoption. And this reason should most definitely be disclosed to the adopting parents.

The child has a right to know, afterall! Most of the time the reasons are complicated and often begin with lack of money, but not always. And that is usually the tip of the iceberg. Bio moms usually have VERY good reasons for making this life changing decision. It is usually wrapped in lots of generosity and love!

Answer 7

No if the parents go through a social worker. I was adopted and my adoptive parents and i never found out the reason till i was 19. Going with adoption through a family they may tell you way.

Answer 8

i'm sure some do and some don't i have 2 adopted kids and i have an idea why each was put up for adoption but i don't know for sure. if's important to be able to give the child all the info they want about why they were put up for adoption. is that why you want to know? sometimes though, the complete truth might be really painful for a kid -- like abandonment. there's a really good book called "Did My First Mother Love me?" It's a picture book, good for all ages and it very movingly talks about how much the birthmother loved the child and how she put him up for adoption so he could have a good life. i think that's the bottom line -- children are put up for adoption because their mothers hope they will be better off that way.

Answer 9

Hi,

This is true of most domestic adoptions, however this is not true of all adoptions.

In many cases, especially international adoptions, the children are what used to be called "foundlings" - they were abandoned in some public place by their birth families, often without even a note. Both of my daughters were abandoned in this way. What this means for my daughters is that we have no information about their biological history.

By the way, infant abandonment happens occasionally in the developed world.

Answer 10

In open adoptions, almost always, in closed adoptions, it matters on how much information the mother was willing to give the adoption agency, and how much information the adoption agency released to the adoptive parents.