Christians: what are your thoughts about stay-at-home Dads?

Question

Men are supposed to be the head of the house but what if the wife makes more money so the dad switches roles and takes care of the kids? Is this frowned upon by other Christians? I would like to hear your thoughts! I'm not talking about free loaders who sit on the couch all day! I'm talking cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, doctor visits, watching kids, and the whole works!

Answer 1

I never thought of it that way. If you want a good laugh, watch Mr.Mom with Michael Keaton.

Answer 2

My husband was a stay-at-home dad last year, after he got laid off and couldn't find a job. I happen to have skills that are more marketable than his these days, that's all. We all thought it was a good arrangement. He is an exceptional parent, a great cook (used to manage a restaurant) and a good housekeeper. However, much as we thought it was working, our budget wasn't. Women are still underpaid in almost every profession -- about 10% less -- and mothers are paid even less than childless women -- about 17% less (that's a whopping 27% less than male counterparts). So I couldn't support the family by myself. My husband's journey back to the workforce hasn't been 100% pleasant. Since he stayed home with the kids for 8 months, prospective employers think he was just lazy. He got laid off from his last job solely because he'd reached the maximum the boss wanted to pay for his position. His position was not eliminated -- he was laid off and replaced with a fresh-from-college newbie whom the boss could pay $10k less a year. So he's in a tough spot, even though he has an exemplary work record. Now we are both working, and working overlapping shifts. The hours that we are both at work, the kids are with close family friends, so it's not horrible. But the whole situation stinks. Employers *should* pay a living wage so that one parent can support the family, but that's just not happening in these tough economic times. That's the real moral problem, as far as I'm concernd. It's not which parent is working -- it's the lack of adequate pay in many professions that will enable one parent to support the whole family. Oh, and before people think we're not make adequate sacrifices, we shop at thrift stores and buy hardly anything new (socks, underwear, food). We garden, recycle, keep our energy costs low. Both vehicles are paid for (and necessary as we work alternating shifts), and we live less than 1.5 miles from both our jobs. We don't take vacations, go to the movies or eat out. I have 22 years experience in my profession and have made a name for myself regionally, but I make 25% less then men who've been at it for half as long.

Answer 3

Good for you,I don't see anything wrong with it.I think that's cool a dad has much of a role as a mom.You are still the man of the home, your still working and doing your part,the question is how do you feel about it?Just remember it does not make you any less of a man, so any negative feed back you get on here ignore them,I am proud of you,your the meaning of a true man,one that is not afraid to be a dad like allot of men are.

Answer 4

So in your world the person that makes the most money is head of the household? In the kingdom of God the headship is God the Father, Jesus Christ the Son, the Holy Spirit, man or the husband, woman or the wife, then the children. I happen to agree with Gods arrangement and if I watch the kids and run the house for my job it would be no admission of defeat to me. Women are gifted in many areas that men are not.

Answer 5

I am not sure but I don't think it says anywhere in the Bible that the man needs to make more money than the wife. It does say that just as Christ is the head of the church, so is the man the head of the wife or the household. Does Christ make money for the church? No, he supports it with love, forgiveness, wisdom and leadership. The most important things a father can provide are love, kindness, care, etc. That is how you provide for and support a family, not by making a bunch of money.

Answer 6

Religion has NOTHING to do with who is the one to do the best job of raising the children. OK, so I'm not a Christian BUT, I too was a father-caretaker of my daughter. I think I did a pretty good job raising my girl and she's now a successful adult and wonderful person. I'm glad that I had the task of raising her and wouldn't have traded it for anything else in the world. If YOU and your wife and children are comfortable with YOU being the homemaker, and you do a great job of it then there's NOTHING that any religion could say that would change that. And IF a religion forbade such a thing, I would seriously think Twice about following that faith for it does NOT have the BEST interests of its followers at heart. That's the most important thing, don't you agree?

Answer 7

I agree with Buff. A man could still be considered the head of the household if his wife is the bread winner. Consider this If both worked, but the wife made more money should the husband feel he is not in fact the head of the household. Think of stay at home dad as a job title, a very important one rewarded not by cash but in other ways. My brother in law is a stay at home dad and he does a great job!

Answer 8

I have a daughter-in-law who wants to work while her husband stays at home to care for their kids. Every time he would have a job she did nothing but complained just about every job he has had she got him fired, she even wanted to work in the same place he worked, 2 jobs she did work at the same place, and she had started trouble between him and the boss, now he is at home, cleaning and cooking and taking care of the kids while she is out working..He is wanting to go back to work, he wants to go on the road because all they do is fight constantly. When she is not working and he is working, she don't cook, clean let alone watch the kids. He is better at taking care of the kids, at leat they are cleaned and fed and with her they aren't..He does the whole works when he is at home

Answer 9

Did it for about four years. Had an accident that left me unable to work for several months. We had a three year old and a three months old - both girls.

So "mom" went to work at the our church, running the home school program that they had. I stayed with the girls. And yes, I did the cooking, cleaning, shopping etc. In fact, today thirty years later I still do 99% of the cooking and all the grocery shopping.

Even after I was 'recovered", I continued to stay home, and attended school in the evenings to finish my degree, and my wife continued to work. I developed a closeness with my daughters that very few fathers have. Home schooled both girls during that time also.

When I completed my degree, I returned to work, and my wife stayed home, added two boys, home schooled all four, and usually had 5-10 neighbor kids that she "tutored" as well. Both my boys were taught to cook, clean, shop etc right along with their sister. The girls were taught to fix cars, repair the house, etc. right along with their brothers.

During those times, I reminded the "head of the family", in that I was the one who took first responsibility for the problems that needed to be dealt with, and the handled the consequences of those decision. That is what a "head" does.

I would not give up my years with the girls for anything.

Answer 10

Well, if you want to stay and take care of your kids all day you are certainly free to do so. Society dictates who is the bread winner. Don't conform. I don't see anything wrong with being a stay at home dad. You will get to see and experience things that you wife will miss out on - and a lot of dads can't say that. Take this time to bond with your kids, it'll be good for all of you.

Answer 11

Old timers of the faith perhaps would frown upon that practice, and the bible does mention of the proper order of things being man worker, woman homemaker.

But Jesus is well aware of the changing times and can certainly understand the need for both man and woman to have jobs to support the family as its becoming increasingly difficult to stay ahead of lifes bills, with only one income.

As long as both genders remain strong in their faith, all will be fine. Besides, two working means twice the tithings. :)