I am 18 and still a virgin. He is 24 and has had sex with alot of girls. He himself has never pressused me to have sex. We have only done innocent things. However what my neighbor (who i am close to. shes 40) said that i better decide if i want to have sex with him. because she isnt sure he will be waiting around.
This has been bothering me and i don't know what to do. I love him a lot. I need some guidance thank you.
2007-06-07 06:24:37 · 53 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Your neighbor sounds about as smart and mature as a lemon. Please. If your boyfriend is not pressuring you and you are happy in the relationship, what is the problem? Forget what she said and just enjoy dating. Geeeeeeeez. Every single man-woman relationship does NOT have to end up including sex to be fun and worth it! Dating is exploring people, likes and dislikes, learning what you want and need in a relationship for it to work, etc. It's practice, if you will. It's not a life or death thing and at 18 you surely do not need a huge complex relationship that messes with your head or ends up getting you preggers or catching a disease from all those girls he has been with. You should understand this before having sex with any guy: you are sleeping with every germ that every girl that ever had sex with him had. Nice, huh?
All that aside, has it not occurred to you that maybe, just maybe, he is old enough that he has learned to respect a woman, and/or he cares enough about you that he isn't going to try and pressure you into anything you aren't ready for?? That he is the kind of man your neighbor has never really been with? Tell your neighbor to mind her own business, she is certainly no relationship whiz!
2007-06-07 06:36:38 · answer #1 · answered by naniannie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First I dont really know and I am sorry to say this I dont mean to hurt your feelings what a 24 yr old would have in common with an 18 yr old...you and he are on much different levels mentally and emotionally...
There is never a reason to have sex if you dont want to...there is never a "If you loved me you would do" scenario...if he loves you as you love him he will wait when you are totally comfortable and ready to take that mature step...remember you are a virgin...your virginity is very special if he has been around as you say...he may just take you and leave you just to say he did...
On the other hand if you hold and protect as you should you will lose your virginity to the right guy and if that happens to fail I would hope for you that it will be a good fond memory you could look back on and not some wham bam in a dank motel or backseat...
You are unique already...you are standing against the grain and popular trend that says you should have sex as soon as possible...I am a guy...and it bothers me a woman of 40 yrs tells you in essence that you need to make up your mind to have sex or not he may not be there...well if he is not there because you werent ready than really he isnt the right one to give that very intimate gift to you in the first place...
I sincerely wish you the best of luck and will tell you in closing that this is BS and totally unfair to you and I hope you will listen to your heart and mind about this and maybe start to reevaluate your relationship with this guy...
As I said I dont know what a 24 would have in common with an 18 yr old??....That still perplexes me...and I hope you dont take that in a demeaning manner...its just at 24 there is more things to do and many more things to think about and consider then at 18...when you get to 24 let me know and see if I was right or not....
Good luck stay well and stick to what YOU feel is right not someone else....
2007-06-07 06:34:31 · answer #2 · answered by Lance 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let the drama of young infatuation influence you. If the guy hasn't been pressuring you then your neighbor is just causing problems. Let the relationship develop without this pressure.
If you want to stay a virgin for reasons, then stick to those reasons.
For example, if you always said you'd only have sex when you're married, then still wait for that. If you said you'd only do it when you're over 20 then wait. Whatever you thought, when you were single about what you want your first time to be hold onto that.
Your first time should go the way you want it, and you should decide when and where. This guy sounds good, and your neighbor sounds like a busy body. Follow your instincts, they seem good so far.
Don't decide that you'll do it because the guy will leave if you don't.
You don't want a guy that will leave if you don't have sex, or who'd stay because you do.
2007-06-07 06:37:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd do it. Don't be unsure because he has had sex with other girls before. Think of that as an advantage. Did you ever think how awkard it would be if he was a virgin? He wouldn't even know how to put it in. Because he knows what he's doing, it's going to make it memorable.
As far as losing your virginity...chances are he won't be the guy you marry. Consider him more as a test boyfriend. You will want to be experienced for the guy that comes along who will be the real keeper.
My opinion. Have sex. You're 18. 25 is going to come rolling along, and you'll be kicking yourself if you don't.
Have fun you crazy kids!
2007-06-07 06:30:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well.... here is what you need to consider... #1 - is this guy someone that you really love?... #2 - does this guy really love you? #3 - Are you really ready for sex? These are the things that you need to think about. Don't make a quick decision just because you feel that if you don't he may leave... because if he really loves you... he will patiently wait until you are ready. Your virginity is precious... and once it is gone... it can not be gotten back. Just be wise about the situation and follow your heart. Don't be in a hurry just to please your man... be patient with yourself... and remember that you are worth the wait no matter what anyone else may think... Good Luck!
2007-06-07 06:37:57 · answer #5 · answered by Candy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Regardless of age, NO ONE should ever pressure anyone to have sex. It should be done out of desire to share that experience, not for fear of losing the other person's interest (or anything else).
Why don't you talk to him about the issue. Is he willing to wait indefinitely for you to decide to have sex, or will it become a dealbreaker for him at some point?
Don't do it until you are ready, even if that means walking away from this guy. There's nothing wrong with him wanting sex, but there's nothing wrong with you wanting to wait either. It may be that you are just mismatched on this issue, if it turns out that he doesn't choose to wait until you are ready.
2007-06-07 06:29:05 · answer #6 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do not have sex with some one just to make them stay, don't ever do that to your self. Never allow some one to pressure you into having sex.
Having sex for all the wrong reasons is never a good idea. You need to make sure that you love him and that he also loves you. But, but don't do it just to try to make some one stay with you, because he could end up leaving you even if you do have sex with him.
So if you don't know what to do, then don't have sex. Take your time, if he takes a walk then he wasn't right for you to begin with.
If you do have sex with him then make sure that you make him wear a condom. Please use some kind of other birth control like the pill along with making him use a condom. Two forms of birth control is a good idea. If he won't use birth control, then no sex.
2007-06-07 06:35:45 · answer #7 · answered by Cindy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your neighbor is WRONG !!!! well, partly anyway...... yes you need to be THINKING !!! such as when or if the times is RIGHT will you be prepared..... physically, mentally, emotionaly ??? but you need to relax first..... go to a womans clinic and get ALL the facts, from A to Z !!!! PROTECT yourself........ if he has been with other women then you need to make sure he knows YOUR rules about sex.... NO unprotected sex, AT ALL !!! NONE......... get the facts !! and as for him waiting around..... well, if he has not said anything, made no demands, then what right has your neighbor got saying what she said?????? talk to the b/f about all this........at the age of 24 he is well aware of the problems and worries of today........ be open and honest about your feelings...... God bless
2007-06-07 06:33:39 · answer #8 · answered by Annie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he respects you and if he cares for you he will wait as long as he has to to have sex... sex is not an important factor in a relationship... the longer you make him wait the better you will know what kind of guy he is... im telling you because my friend was in the same shoes you are in... but she followed my advice... and now they have been together for 6 years... that is true love... by the way she did not give it up until a year and a half after they were together
2007-06-07 06:30:25 · answer #9 · answered by cupids_victim11 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let your neighbor have an effect on your relationship. Use your own judgement. Just because a guy has had sex before doesn't mean he is going to pressure you, and since he hasn't then he sounds like a decent guy. You'll know when you are ready, and never do it just because you feel pressure.
2007-06-07 06:29:45 · answer #10 · answered by singlemom2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋