Is it appropriate to flirt sexual stuff with someone you are dating?

Question

I was married for 10 years and my ex was very repressed, there was no passion, no sexual compatibility. Now I am back on the dating arena and have a difficulty finding the balance when it comes to flirting and the appropriate timing when to become intimate. I was raised with traditional values and believe that one should wait till marriage for sex but how realistic is this idea in today's society? I find that many guys out there want something serious but lived the same situation like mine and on the other hand, guys who are just horny and looking to get laid. I am starting to wonder if it isn't me who has an issue with sex. Can I have feedback from emotionally balanced, mature, stable people out there?

Answer 1

Dear girl, we are probably the same age (36) and I've been there, done that:) I also been raised in traditional values, sex after marriage and all those stupid stuff. You waited until you're married to have sex your ex? If so, was that any good? No, exactly the sex was the problem. So, these old values are no realistic at all today, i'm afraid.
You have to find a balance between all that - flirting doesn't involve sex every time, but you really must try to "set yourself free". Be decent as always, but cheerful and open minded. Not all the men are looking just a night stand. You just have to be a patience - your man will come:)

Answer 2

I real don't know what to tell you! You tried the married life and it didn't work out right? If you really go according to traditionnal values, you would have stayed married in the first place. You experienced the difficulty of staying married while being unhappy so how do you think it would be if you don't have sex? Are you suppose to wait until you get married again??? We all know it doesnt make sense. Just take your time, sex is powerful and it sure will let you know when your body wants some and with who. Flirting or sex is the same as dancing or riding a bike, If you don't do it for a while, it's hard to be good at it but it always comes back! You might need just a little boost of confidence, 10 years of marriage, I'm sure you did not hear too often how pretty or sexy you were. Get with some girl friends and go to a night club or any place to go hang out where you know there will be a lot of men. Don't look for them, let them look for you. You don't have to date anyone that night, it is just to give you back that sexy feeling. Good luck to you.

Answer 3

Well sure it's ok. Anyone who says that chemistry and sex aren't improtant in a relationship are going to soon be alone.

Flirt away. The good guys will stick and the bad ones will go regardless.

Personally I don't find it reasonable to wait until marriage for sex. I understand people so and are happy with that..

But after you have already married, you aren't 'saving' yourself anymore. I wouldn't say sleep with as many as you can but if you are in a semi serious relationship and the time is right then go for it. An occasional fling wont hurt either if that's what you want. The most important thing is to use condoms.

Answer 4

Wll, I can only hope I qualify as emotionally balanced, mature, and stable. Life is short, and you are not a child or teenager anymore. Explore your sexuality, enjoy it. It isn;t only men who get horny. There will be some men when yu will be interested in a more sexual start to the relationship, and then see what happens, and some men you will natyrally want to take it more slowly. Be open to all options and trust your first instinct in the moment. You won't always make the right decision, but so what? Its your life now.

Answer 5

It's ok if you both feel it's ok. You definatly adult enough to handle a sexual relationship if you've been married ten years and can identify the kind of issues your talking about, so you're old enough to determine when a sexual relationship is right.
Basically, whatever you and your partner of choice find appropriate is whats right for you. If you want to wait til marriage all over again, by all means, find a partner who will respect that choice, and wait!! Just remember, that by doing that, you're taking the risk of another passionless, sexless marriage.
Premarital sex doesnt have to be casual sex, you can wait until you know that you have deeper feelings for person to explore your sexual compatability.

Answer 6

I too was raised to believe sex comes after marriage..But alas, I have teenage son and never been hitched, so those believes went out the window. I honestly believe that if you are truly happy in a relationship and you've been seeing each other monogamously for at least a few months, then by all means..Let the flirting begin..I personally though, would still take sex cautiously..Condoms, the pill, etc....

Answer 7

Traditional Catholic values are rare in today's society but they are not unrealistic. In fact, saving sex for marriage is better for you because sex is so special that God created it for married couples.

Let's put it this way: what is popular may not be right and what is right may not be popular. Yes, sexual urges are all a part of human nature. It's normal. It's just when they get out of hand...that's when they become a problem.

Answer 8

Your question depends on the old and tired-out lie that trans women are men. Trans women are not men, never have been men, and never will be men. You need to unlearn this garbage and get over yourself. Do you feel it's necessary to disclose the fact that you had your tonsils out when you were a child? No? Then why the double standard? If you have a problem with having sex with trans people, blame yourself. Don't blame trans people for your intolerance. And predictably as sunrise, John Wether trots out his transphobia. Yes John, we know you're a hypocritical transphobic douchenozzle. You don't need to prove it anymore. Now when are you going to have that nice hot cup of STFU?

Answer 9

Just be yourself then you would find someone that is compatible with who you are and not with who you are protraying. We can't protray a different character all of the time. If you aren't flirty with your sexuality that is okay. You can be flirty other ways. If you are more cute or kind and compassionate than sexy that is fine and many men find those characteristics sexy. It is better to be in a relationship where you are who you are for yourself and not trying to be something you're not for someone else.

So I say don't worry about what time to be flirty and sexy at the same time. Allow it to be natural, that would be the most sexy.

Answer 10

You will know when the guy you want to get intimate with is the right time, and you can flirt with anyone you feel comfortable flirting with, but be careful with strangers, but that boils down to being comfortable with someone. This day and age a good relationship can go a long ways compared to some marriages.