20 and older please give me advice on this tough situation at work...?

Question

I am sorry that this is such a long post, but PLEASE read it and help me out, I really need opinions.

I work at an expensive sunglass store where the manager is my boyfriend’s sister, Stephanie. We count the sunglasses every morning and night on daily count sheets. I warned Stephanie that the counts done by other employees were extremely inaccurate. She is relaxed and let it roll off her shoulders as she was more concerned with sales than with the count.

An incident occurred where an employee was stealing. Because of that, Stephanie cracked the whip & wrote two people up, & I received a "verbal warning" because although I clearly marked shortages on the count sheets, I did not "verbally" tell her. She faxed the write-ups to the district manager.

I told Stephanie immediately that I found it unfair that I was even receiving a "verbal warning" as I had warned her many times that the count was off.

Also, the sunglasses that were being stolen were in the $100 range, & I was always told by her to not worry about them. She got extremely nasty with me, gave me an attitude, and I felt a little pushed around.

Because it is my boyfriend’s sister, I really don’t want to cause any trouble. However, I am VERY ANGRY that I received a warning when I warned her of the situation & I am even more FURIOUS because she gave me an attitude and pushed me around- which is what I’m most pissed about.

I have been given the opportunity to fax a “rebuttal” to the district manager. Because Christina was such b*tch to me, I am going to go through with the rebuttal.

The question is, do you think it’s wrong of me to send the rebuttal? I ask this because it will make my boyfriend’s sister look bad. BUT, my thing is, if she wasn’t afraid to give me an attitude & treat me like sh*t, which is what she did when I approached her, then I shouldn’t care about making her look bad and should cover my own a*s.

Agree or disagree?

*Sorry, I didn't use the manager's real name for privacy purposes, which is why I mixed up the Christina and Stephanie.

Answer 1

Although you have every right to write a rebuttal, you need to decide how important this job is to you versus your relationship to your manager.

Do you see yourself advancing in this company or is this just a stepping stone to bigger and better things?

Do you see your relationship with your boyfriend moving in the direction of marriage, in which case, your manager will eventually be your sister-in-law? If so, I would suggest in this case to let the rebuttal go and speak with your manager from the heart. Tell her that you understand she was trying to be responsible in her position with the company but that you feel she sold you out when you were advising her in good faith all along. Let her know you understand how her job is important to her and that she has a responsibility to her managers to handle the situation capably, but that her actions hurt you. See what her reaction is.

My best advice is that if you see your manager as being in your life for the long term, you should place a priority over keeping the peace in the family, and find another job or ask to be transferred. Making your peace with a rebuttal might give you the (well deserved) right to state your position for this particular situation, but might lead to long-term touchy issues at home.

Also keep in mind, a verbal warning is not a serious situation. Although it stings, keep it in perspective. The fact that you are concerned shows how valuable an employee you can be to any company. Seek out a position where family and work don't mix, but don't leave with any harsh feelings. Forgive her, and learn a valuable lesson from the experience. Put out your most positive energy and you'll do well wherever you are.

Answer 2

I think you need to take a deep breath and take all the personal attitude crap out of the picture. This is your Job , and future reference at another job. Make this strictly a work related issue.

I see your rebuttal to your verbal warning as this. I have on many many occasions made my manager verbally aware that inventory count was off and that there was a problem. At no time did I see any attempt by my manager to investigate or correct this problem. As it became known that another employee had been stealing write ups were issued and I received the verbal warning in dispute. Again , verbal communication along with Count sheets were given to the manager negating the need for the verbal warning I received.


Remember its business at work.

Answer 3

My first question is, who is Christina. I thought her name was Stephanie, but at the end I see Christina. That is a little confusing. Regardless, though, YES, I think you should file the rebuttal. If your boyfriend doesn't understand, that's his problem. I'm curious to know how he feels about the whole situation. This is a common problem at work, because you tell someone and they do nothing, but you don't want to go over their head, because they might get mad (or it could backfire). I have had that problem at my job. Bad thing is, now it's her word against yours. One good thing is that if you marked the shortages, then you do have some proof that you were noticing the count being off. Be sure and let the manger know that you did mark those sheets! Good Luck.

Answer 4

Definitly go through with the rebuttal. Was the verbal warning documented? I think you should document all the conversations you had and try to make sure you are very detailed(dates, time). All this should be faxed to the district manager and ask for a meeting. Just remember IT IS not personal it is business. I would also think about seperating yourself from working with friends, relatives, or relatives of friends. What she did was unethical. She should of supported the fact you did let her know. Her inconsistent behavior is a sign of immaturity.

Answer 5

If you decide to send a rebuttal, do a professional reply. You are so very angry, confused and emotional right now that if you're not careful, the rebuttal could come back to haunt you.
Perhaps, the words, review current policy might help shape your perspective and rebuttal.
Being professional if you decide to write will get you further than the personal attack on a manager. By the way, you might want to look for another gig.
Stephanie is too close to your personal life to be involved with your professional life and vice versa. In other words, the lines are too blurred for either of you to see straight or objectively.
Yes, she is trying to cover her own butt, the question becomes do you want to remain under her supervision?
(didn't think so)

Answer 6

Well to me it depends on the kind of friendship you and her have. If you can resolve the issue by you telling her maybe not at work because some people act different out of the work environment how you really feel about the whole situation maybe it can be better resolved. Honesty really is the best policy tell her it really pissed you off and that the whole situation would have never even been a situation if she would have payed attention to the warning signs from the start

Answer 7

The others received a written, you received a verbal why you ask? TO make it appear to all that you where all being suspect, so as to not single you out as the good employee thus incurring the wrath or snide remarks of your co-workers, possibly making your work life miserable. See if your brother can subtly find out why this was done, in the meantime keep your cool and see what happens next.

Answer 8

you are totally correct. You state that she said you did not let her know verbally, but you did let her know out of good faith about the situation. She wants everyone else to look bad, when it is in fact her responsibility as a manager to listen to all employees about what is happening. Its tough when it is your boyfriends sister. But if she complains to him about you, he should tell her that you two need to discuss it , it has nothing to do with him-since it is a place of business. OR and this is a big fat OR--If your name wasn't mentioned on the report she sent up-you can let it go--since it was only a verbal warning. But if it was, I would definetly send something.

Answer 9

i agree with most of the answers here You do have a right to send in your rebutal and if there is tension here between you so what you did the right thing it sounds like she cares for herself and no one else that is just ignorant. She may not want the corporation to think that she is irresponsible and if she is going for the next position well she has to blame it on somone so you being who you are she things she can get away with it
I WOULD NOT LET HER DO IT.
Let her know you will not stand for this stuff espically when she knows that you all ready told her if you don't stop her now what will she do later on to you and your boyfriend?
Good luck with what ever you decide to do do what feels right you will feel much better in the end.

Answer 10

Have you ever heard that blood and money don't mix? It means that people close to your heart and you business should remain sepereated. However comma, in the event that they do cross, the parties involved need to be mature enough to handle any situation that arises. ~for instance, i recently got a job where one of my older cousins is my boss. i told her that when i screw up at work, he had better set me straight or whatever because work is work. but she needs to be able to be cool about it when i come over to the house later with a case of beer.~ in your case, you are right about sending the rebuttal. work is work. also, you need to talk to your b/f and his sister about this work thing. you guys should have each other's back no matter what. if there a change in work behaivior (like what happened to you), then the issued need to get put on the table and discussed. it's what grown ups do. it seems like she was acting immature in response to (possibly) her *** being on the line....