Why is sex so hard when you are married?

Question

or when you love someone?

Answer 1

Better find a new approach to sex. Role play, toys etc... People grow very comfortable with each other over time, but there are many, many, many ways to rekindle the fire. Go to a book store and grab a book. Get some new ideas that sound interesting and try it.

Answer 2

I think it is the partner not the relationship. I HATED sex while I was married. It was almost repulsive...I was married to an alcoholic for 11 yrs (I am a NON drinker who despises beer) who loved beer. The smell was such a turn off I'd rather go w/o, even though I did love him. Now I am with someone new, who I love very much-and I am like the Energizer Bunny now (I'm afraid I'm going to break him!!!) I cannot lie next to him w/o fondling him and carressing him...I must touch him...it is thed person not the circumstances...I'm sure it will slow some over time-but this is too good to just stop!

Answer 3

What do you mean by "why is it so hard?" Do you mean that sex doesn't take place as often or spontaneously as you would like it or that you or your spouse doesn't want to have it?

Either way, with marriage sex doesn't always register as #1 anymore in the life of the couple. Yes, it is very important to be together and express your love, but you can do that by other means also.

I agree 100% that communication is key in the relationship and by doing this, sex will take the course that it is meant to.

Answer 4

It isn't. You are putting pressure on yourself. Enjoy the person you married and stop thinking that sex is something "dirty" that you don't want to "soil" your partner by doing it with them.
Go see a counsellor and stay away from Catholic churches.

Update: Either a Catholic has given a "thumbs down" or I've hit the proverbial nail on the head........What I've written is right and more men should face it......woman and men would have much better sex lives if people were just honest with each other........

Answer 5

it sounds like u did a double take-first if you are married its blessed "In marriage the bed is undefiled but all others will be judged." Hebrews 13
when you dont respect marriage and do it without marriage and honor and live like I once did and call it love-there is a problem

this is what solved my problem=you will never be let down by Jesus= I prayed-Jesus, I am sorry I have let you down-even with one lie, come into my heart and help me do better, be my friend, amen.
in amazing grace that saved me Revelation 3 (verses 19&20) He loves each of us & knocks on our heart door to come in and forgive sin when we repent-even of one lie, and Jesus says then I will begin a fellowship with you as my friend, when you ask me in. praying for you, David

Answer 6

You might want to reframe the question.

I assume you are referring to getting cut off from sex after marriage by the wife?

Answer 7

Maybe it's getting boring for you or your wife, do you do it the same everytime??? same days, same positions etc. try to spice things up, do it in different places, at random times and use your imagination, things will feel better once you start breaking thay routine. good luck x

Answer 8

They hook you with sex and then when they got you by ball and chain your screwed, but of course everyone is different that chain could be what she keeps pulling you back with too.

Answer 9

because it is elevated to a new dimension called "expressing love" rather than "having sex."

Answer 10

It's not if you communicate what each of you wants and expects on a regular basis.