ok my boyfriend is 16 and i am 14,,,i am not a virgin and he knows that but what he doesnt know was that i was raped.....now i feel pressure to have sex with him because he knows im not a virgin i need help ;wat do i do????
2007-06-07 05:16:49 · 12 answers · asked by lifes too short ((live it up!!)) 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You need to tell him why you aren't a virgin. I was raped when I was 13 and I had been with my boyf for about 3 months before we started to talk about doing it ( I was 16 and he was 18). I told him what happened and he shared my burden with me. When we did finally do it the first time it hurt like hell, I don't know why, I guess I was afraid that he wouldn't stop and that made me really tense and scared but he stopped straight away, It was a few weeks before we tried again and it was fine.
If he is pressuring you into sex then maybe he isn't good boyfriend material, not to mention the fact that you aren't old enough to be doing it yet.
Just please don't have sex with him because you feel pressured to do it. It shouldn't be about that, only have sex with who YOU want to and when YOU want to.
I know it sounds kind of weird but if you want to talk to someone, I am only the other end of an email.... I'm Millie by the way....
2007-06-07 05:31:28 · answer #1 · answered by frost7216 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well since you were raped then in a sense you are still a virgin because you didn't give up your virginity willingly and had you not been raped you would still technically be a virgin therefore you should not feel pressured. If he pushes for it then let him know you aren't ready and if he leaves because you won't then you know what he was with you for and you can let him go and on chase someone elses tail so you can find a guy that respects you for you and not whats between your legs.
2007-06-07 05:21:42 · answer #2 · answered by Music Junky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him know ur situation once u two are comfortable around each other and tell him that u don't think ur ready for sex yet because it's still painful for you. If he cares about u then he'll wait and not rush u to do anything ur not ready to do yet. Just tell him to take it slow and when the time is right you'll let him. He should understand if he's mature enough.
2007-06-07 05:20:43 · answer #3 · answered by Lisa Valdez 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you trust him, you should tell him that you were raped and that's why you're no longer a virgin. You should have sex with him when you feel like you and him both want to.
2007-06-07 05:22:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he is putting any pressure on you, you should ask him to stop and if that doesnt work. then you end it, most guys want a one night thing and then there on to the next one, dnt be another notch in his belt. if he truly cares for you he will be patient and wait till your ready.
2007-06-07 05:22:10 · answer #5 · answered by SAM S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Step up and tell him you feel that way. If you don't step up he feels like he has the right to push you some more.
2007-06-07 05:21:22 · answer #6 · answered by Lizziel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's pressuring you then you need to find another guy to date.
2007-06-07 05:20:25 · answer #7 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to seriously talk to him about this issue you may have problems with intimacy or getting close to any guy now && he needs to understand why...&& if he doesn't understand && is a jerk forget about him there's plenty of good guys out there good luck hunny
2007-06-07 05:21:58 · answer #8 · answered by manda102285 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
explain it to him as you did here. If he is any type of a person he will respect that.
2007-06-07 05:21:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u don't want 2 then jus tell him! if he's not into that then i don't think he's for you!
2007-06-07 05:20:15 · answer #10 · answered by tlk_soccer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋