im getting married in 3 months. surely i am having bridal showers, right? well, my friend got married in february and i gave her a shower, but she has not mentioned giving me one. my aunt gave my sister one, but hasnt mentioned giving me one. my moms best friend also gave my sister one. but still no word on if im getting one. should i worry about it? am i selfish? i want to have one. i think its fun and very helpful to a couple just starting out. it kinda hurts my feelings though to think that i may not have anyone to give me one.
2007-06-07 05:14:18 · 28 answers · asked by Ashley 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
oh no i hope i didnt come across the wrong way! i should have explained it better. i am in no way expecting three. i was just saying those were 3 different people and not 1 of them mentioned giving me one. i would be happy with just one.
2007-06-07 05:27:30 · update #1
wow quite a few of you were rude. im so not into money and gifts. all i wanted was the celebration. just one. one time to get together with everyone. material things mean nothing to me. im sorry i ever put this question up here. i have already picked out my best answer. so please, if you are going to be rude and talk down on me for wanting a shower, dont answer. a lot of you hurt me. just to go ahead and let everyone know, i am having a shower. just got the call. its going to be on july 7. not once did i even mention someone giving me one. all i was doing was reaching out to you guys just to reassure myself. that was obviously wrong. thanks anyway. your opinion does matter.
2007-06-07 05:52:00 · update #2
You still have three months till your wedding. Generally, the bridal shower is done only a few weeks before the wedding. Dont worry. I'm sure they are planning something great for you. Dont worry. I felt the same way about mine. I remember when my sister got married we planned this amazing shower for her, it was a total secret and each of the guests brought something that represented something about marriage and religion. It was nice. When I got married I didnt think they were gonna do anything for me but they came through and I'm sure they will come through for you too.
2007-06-07 05:55:26 · answer #1 · answered by MariChelita 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are a number of possibilities, not the least of which is: Perhaps they are planning a surprise party. Don't go snooping for clues or you may spoil plans already in the works. Also, it may be that each of them thinks the other is planning something...it may be a lack of communication.
Let it go for now. You still have 3 months...and showers normally take place within the last month before your wedding. Your Matron/Maid of Honor is ultimately the one who will determine details about contacting your family about a shower. Let her handle it. It is not appropriate for you to ask for a shower, or plan your own. You can not be the guest of honor at a party you throw for yourself.
Let it happen in its own time. Like I said...you may have a surprise on the way, and it would be a real shame to ruin it. Soak it up and enjoy every minute of the next few months. It will go fast!!
2007-06-07 05:45:32 · answer #2 · answered by Kat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's selfish to want to be treated the same. You deserve one just like everyone else.
Keep in mind showers usually happen about 1-2 months prior to the wedding. You might be getting a totally surprise shower..... It does happen from time to time, but you can't be sure about that and it is bothering you so you need to do something about that.
Who is your maid of honor? That's the person that's "traditionally" supposed to throw your shower. I would go to her and ask if she needs a guest list of people/addresses that she would need to invite to a shower. That might spark a conversation without coming across as "Why haven't you thrown my shower yet!?" (I hope you see the subtle difference.)
Maybe you should have a heart-to-heart with mom, and ask her about it. Mom will probably be really understanding.
2007-06-07 05:23:22 · answer #3 · answered by Laura 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can't say you are wrong because we are all entitled to our feelings about different things. I'll venture that the others are right and it's either a surprise shower or they don't think you want one. And as your wedding is still some time from now they may not think it's time. I think of all showers as something that are right up on the event not 90 days out.
2007-06-07 05:25:34 · answer #4 · answered by indydst8 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Always remember that people aren't mind readers. Bring the subject up but kind of disguise it innocently so as not to seem selfish. Not saying you are selfish because every bride needs a shower.
Also, If either you or your fiance already own an apartment with furniture and such, try having a Honeymoon Registry. Because if you already have the appliances and home makings, why ask for more with a traditional registry?
2007-06-07 05:21:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
No, you're not being selfish. I would be hurt, too. Could you maybe mention this to your mom? She could put the word out that you would like a shower. Or maybe people are tight on money right now. You could offer to make some of the food and decorations.
I hope you get your shower! Good luck!
2007-06-07 05:18:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
it's not wrong to feel that way. you just wonder what's going on because giving bridal showers isn't something you necessarily ask someone to do. it's an unspoken question so to speak. although in your case since it's three months away i would bring up the topic in a light conversation. start talking about how much you enjoyed their wedding showers or ask the people who gave them if it was fun to put it together. start commenting on what you liked and didn't like at thiers. this might get the ball rolling so they start thinking about your wedding as well.
2007-06-07 05:18:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes you are being a bit selfish but not to worry. The wedding is not for 3 months yet so there is pleanty of time for someone to throw you a shower. If someone was planning one they would not want you to know about it as these things are often planned as a surprise for the bride to be.
I think you need to stop looking at what was done for other people and comparing it to what you have or else you are gonna be a very unhappy woman and make your husband miserable trying to life up to your expectations and pre conceived notions of what is due you. If no one gives you a shower, I think I got a glimps of the reason why.
2007-06-07 05:44:22 · answer #8 · answered by CindyLu 7 · 1⤊ 3⤋
You shouldn't be expecting three. There might be one in the works but it might be a suprise. Its not wrong that you are hurt because the showers are obviously a tradition with your family and were thrown for all the other brides before you. You feel left out and thats normal. It is kinda selfish that the reason you are hurt seems to be more because you want gifts instead of because you want to celebrate with your family. I'll probably get thumbs down all over the place but I just think it is messed up when brides think that just because they are getting married they are owed truckloads of stuff. Thats not why you get married.
2007-06-07 05:24:53 · answer #9 · answered by pspoptart 6 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Well hopefully they'll surprise you I would ask your fiance to snoop a to help you out with this. Or try and ask who might need your registery coupons if you have some. They are coupons you get from the store to give out in shower invites to tell where your registered and for people to get discounts.
I Also, asked this months ago and got horrible responses telling me that I should not ask someone and if I didn't get one tough. Nice! Thank God my best friend is back in my life again and is my Maid of Honor so, I'm getting one.
How & Who to ask to Throw my Bridal Shower?
I'm getting married later this year and have no Mom or sisters to throw me a shower. And unfornately my best friend isn't speaking to me anymore because of her boyfriend.
My Matron of Honor is my only attendant and lives across the US.
My fiances Mom likes me but, seems bothered when I ask her to go with me to do wedding things.
How & Who should I ask to throw my bridal shower?
Additional Details
2 months ago
I also, know it's bad etiquette to throw your own or ask someone. However, why should I suffer not having one just because my Mom's passed on.
We've registered and have coupon cards to give out to people. And I'm putting them in with our invitations.
2 months ago
****CORRECTION****
I meant to say I'm NOT putting our registry cards with our invitations. Because that is tacky!
2 months ago
When you register at stores you receive coupon cards saying you are registered there and it serves as a coupon for your guests. Like Target has 10%
2007-06-07 05:27:42 · answer #10 · answered by erink1799 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋