A friend of mine is getting married out of state in August. Her shower is in July. I can't make it to the shower, but I am planning on attending the wedding and reception. I asked a question about giving cash as a gift at the reception, and received responses that it was sort of tacky, and that a gift would be better. One guy even said that bringing a gift to the reception was tacky. My question is: Should I send a gift from her registry to the shower even though I can't attend, then just show up at the reception empty handed, or should I send nothing for the shower, but bring a nice card with cash to the reception? Or should I do both--gift for the shower, money at the reception?
2007-06-07 04:59:15 · 11 answers · asked by brevejunkie 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Try finding out if there is something that they could really use and present that as the gift, and if that isn't good then I would present the cash with a letter of intention so that they are aware that the cash is meant to help in an area that I was unaware of; and as I see the two of them, happy and all, I didn't realize that there was anything else in the world the two would ever need besides each other.... Or something as complimenting and as disguising so that I could get away with passing a couple hundred over to the happy couple for them to use as they see the need to...
Hope this helps...
2007-06-07 08:01:50 · answer #1 · answered by Aware 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I would say to send a small gift to the shower since you cannot attend. But, if you are attending the reception definatly take a gift! As for cash, I don't think I have ever heard anyone complain about receiving cash as a gift regardless of the occasion. Give a gift that comes from your heart, it doens't have to be from the registry. Give what you feel the couple could use the most whether that is a gift card, cash, a gift from the registry or something else that you have found.
2007-06-07 05:35:52 · answer #2 · answered by mv_alva 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If you cannot attend the shower and wish to give a gift, you may do so at the wedding reception unless the invitation says no gifts. In the chance that the reception has no gifts, you can mail the gift to her home or take it to her before the wedding. Cash gifts are acceptable. You can find cards specially made to hold cash. (If you can't attend the shower and plan on giving a gift at wedding, you do not have to send a gift for the shower. Most showers are held for those not invited to wedding or cannot attend the wedding.)
2007-06-07 05:07:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
First how close is this friend. If a close friend and you feel like you do want to buy a gift for the shower you can. However its perfectly fine not to, when you're not attending it.
As well for money for the reception gift. Whatever suits the couple. Many cultures only do money gifts. And many people are quite accepting of a gift like that. there are a few picky people out there who prefer specific gifts. But with the travel restrictions everyone knows its not easy to travel with gifts. The other option is to go in on a group gift. join with another couple and one of you can bring it to the reception or have it sent tot the couple.
2007-06-07 08:05:17 · answer #4 · answered by brk 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have never heard of a bride and groom complaining they received cash as a gift. It was customary to give gifts, but I don't think that's still the trend. It's not tacky to give cash, it's tacky for the bride and groom to ask for cash instead of gifts.
As far as the shower, you should send a gift. Perhaps you know someone else that is going that might be willing to make the purchase and wrap it for you rather than risking damage in shipping.
2007-06-07 05:13:08 · answer #5 · answered by J M 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you can't make it to the shower, just bring a cash gift and a small gift to the reception...that is more than enough...you don't have to go extreme...
Most of all, they just want you there!!
2007-06-07 05:53:40 · answer #6 · answered by Angel Eyes 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have NEVER been to a wedding where there wasn't a small gift table set up at the reception for those coming out of town, etc.
If you know where they are registered, get them a gift card - NOT TACKY - one of the most useful things you can give. Every gets linens and towels - nobody gives pictures, pillows, etc. Gift cards are the way to go.
2007-06-07 05:37:08 · answer #7 · answered by photocritter 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Check to see if the bride and groom have registered their china, pottery, of flat ware at a local department store. If the store is a national chain, you can probably handle this through the Internet. Otherwise, select something, perhaps through someplace like http://www.potterybarn.com, and have Federal Express of UPS ship it to them. If the shower requests a token gift, send that on ahead as well.
The again, you could take a creative approach: When my cousins married, my usual gift was to send them a collection of recipes compiled from family members. Kinko's or another photocopying service can bind the collection, and on line publishing tools will really make your recipe book look professionally done.
2007-06-07 05:23:16 · answer #8 · answered by Ellie Evans-Thyme 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yea, two seperate events. If you don't attend the Shower it is optional to gift. The Wedding mandatory. Nothing EVER wrong with money. Lots of money.
2007-06-07 05:35:36 · answer #9 · answered by Ray2play 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You can send cash. It is not considered tacky and many other people will be doing it as well.
2007-06-07 05:20:15 · answer #10 · answered by Terri 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋