Would it be wrong to pretend i am a believer in order to stop my family from criticizing me???

Question

my family thinks i lost my mind simply because i left the church and i am well on the steps to becoming atheist(i have said this before in my past questions). i just want them to stop critisizing me and i want their support. would it be wrong to pretend i re-gained my "faith" and act like i believe??

JayDee....you completely failed to answer my question....dont waste my time! i appreciate my family and i value what they think of me....it worries me that they see me as something lower....what is so wrong about that?

i am speaking from a moral perspective....thats why im wondering if it would be wrong!!

Answer 1

Do what you feel is best. Go to church with them but instead look up and analize the architecture or look at the disturbing statues of a man being killed by the Roman Empire's favourite method of executing deviant minds.
If pretending is going to get you through life, then I dont' see why not.
Or maybe you could throw at their faces that you're an atheist or whatever you are, and they would have to live with it.
This type of people don't like people that aren't like them.
But they should live with it.
Then they say they're the peaceful, comprehensive ones.
Who cares if they're going to heaven? Just smile as you know they won't be going anywehre but 6 feet under and rot.

EDIT: "Talk to God, not to men." Are these people crazy???? stop communicating with people and pray for 6 hours or something? If that's all you do I'll bet you'll start speaking with people from heaven in no time. these peopel don't think.

Answer 2

You don't say how old you are, but I suspect you are not able to leave home legally. It would be a shame, though, if it should ever come to that. I also suspect there have been very heated rows. Is there a chance you could ask that you all sit around the dining-room table (or wherever) and you say as calmly as possible to them that you are having great difficulties with how you feel about your beliefs? Politely inform them that you need to think carefully want you want to do, and being criticized over and over again may result in you making the wrong choice. Whether it is true or not, you could hint that you just want a break from church at the moment. Tell them that you are not changing your views of what's right or wrong, but need to think about your faith (however you wish to define that) in your own way. With any luck, you may get some rest from the criticism and, who knows, they may just get used to it.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Yes, it would be wrong. This happened to me when I was in high school. It made me sad - to the point of depression for half a year.

You are talking openly about deceiving people. If you pull one thing out of your brief interaction with the church, "don't lie" is a pretty freaking good piece of advice. Most of the time, lying just causes problems and possibly heartache. If there is one thing that is respected across the board in the church, secular world, and especially business world, it's an honest person.

Are you going to lie about it until you or your family dies? If not, then you are just going to end up hurting them later on. Might as well get it over with.

Answer 4

The best way is to be truthful to them. The very act of going in to a church is to worship there and, if you do not feel that there is anything there to worship, what would be the point? I am assuming that your family are Christian, so approach them from that point of view, reminding them about the teaching of agape love and forgiveness.

Whatever you family ultimately say, it is still your life to live. The worst thing to to with that life is to live it as a lie. Just tell your family and ask them to accept you for who and what they are. If they are truly people of faith then they will accept.

Answer 5

Its not wrong in thinking and questioning any religious points and dogmas. How can you believe in something which you can't? Try to gain knowledge. Do not come to a conclusion that you are an aethist unless you learn other religions than biblical religions(Judaism, Christianity, Islam etc)

Read Hindu scriptures and see if that philosophy can help you find the truth. Hinduism is a religion which give you the freedom to question and learn. No blind faith is advised in Hinduism.

Now your second part of the question , can you pretend in front of your family. I think you can tell a lie and pretend only if it hurts so much any of your family member to such an extend that would spoil him/her or the whole family. Otherwise open your mouth and talk to them and tell your points openly. Do not argue but discuss with others.

The true intention behind all talk should be to convey message and to gain more knowledge and truth and not to implement any personal agendas. I hope this helps.

Answer 6

I played that game for almost all my life. Believe me it will stress you out hiding it because you are hiding yourself. That will make you very unhappy. I know because I pretended to be the same faith as my family and I just could not stand it. I would rather not live a lie, it isn't worth it.

Answer 7

You have to be true to yourself and not just do something because it might make your parents or family unhappy. I speak from personal experience because my parents hardly talk to me anymore since I ditched their religion. Now I'm living on the other side of the world...
You could never be a true christian if you lied to say that you were, because it is against the rules to lie. So I say, do what you have to do, but at the end of the day, you have to be true to yourself and do what makes you content.
Good luck, it's hard going against your parents on a basis of religious beliefs...

Answer 8

Yes. It would be very wrong. They criticize out of fear. I have seen many people lose their faith and become atheists for decades - only to have a sudden conversion and come back better Christians than myself. Anne Rice for instance.

Plead your case with them. Tell them you MUST take this journey. With their support would be better than without. In condemning you, they only make your case more solid. They must, as Christians, love you as you are.

God may need you to become an atheist to strengthen THEIR faith. You will ask them questions and they will need to come up with pure answers. True answers. Not smoke and mirrors. This might be what they are afraid of. Well, that and the fear of you losing eternity. But Jesus says those we love will be with us in Heaven.

No journey that is easy is worth making.

Answer 9

If you think you would hurt your family and it matters to you that you don't, and if you are of an age where you must still comply to their wishes - go quietly. Make no comment that is a lie. Make no pretence about your beliefs. Just keep your beliefs in your heart and continue your own private search for your truth. Enter into no arguments. No one can make you believe anything. If you do not attack their beliefs then in time they will come to respect yours. I wish you well.

Answer 10

"This above all else: To thine own self be true." -- William Shakespeare

It's not possible to keep self-respect without being honest. Every time you have to lie about it you lose more of yourself. I'm sure this isn't the first time and won't be the last time you come up against those who don't understand and criticise. They are your parents and while they may be able to dictate your movements and freedoms, they can never dictate what you think. The adult thing for you to do is to 'agree to differ'.