2 days ago my boyfriend sprung on me the option of break up or have a 2 month break, the last 6 months we have been having difficulties (because of a health issue). I was not happy with being forced into this with no choice so initially i said no i wont be forced, let's break up. But he then convinced me to have the break (whats there to lose now anyway), the timing of it was really selfish as i have stressful work commitments. He gave no real reason why he is doing this but to just trust him and that he assures me that he wants to be together at the end of the break and he loves me etc (im doubting this) do breaks work? and why wouldnt he just drop it and be done with the relationship? wats the point in dragging it out? He sent me a mobile ph txt the other day, i just replied with it's over, he then later told me that he posted me a letter and i should read it before i make a decision. Where is this going? it's doing my head in. Any similar experiences? Advice? Opinions?
2007-06-07 03:17:25 · 18 answers · asked by pinksandbeach 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i dont know if it's another girl in question, im not putting that out of the equation though. If he wants to break up. i told him i want to break up now too. Why does he drag it out? Why is he trying to keep communicating? its making it harder on me. why cant he just leave me alone.
2007-06-07 03:31:18 · update #1
thankyou everyone for your answers, i just dont think its because of another girl (mb im wrong) we discussed with being with other people and it was established that no one would be with anyone. But what are words? i guess it could be all lies. I made it really clear i wasnt going to wait around for him (and i wont) he just keeps saying lets do the break (mb he doesnt fear losing me) why cant people just be up front. and what does everyone think, total cut off and ignore? ignore letter? ignore calls and txts etc. mite have to keep posted about the letter in few days. should i read it? or just bin it and move on?
2007-06-07 03:39:49 · update #2
we've been together for nearly two years, the health issue was an std one. i dont believe he cheated, of course i always have my doubts. but i think it could have been that he didnt get properly tested at the doctors (they didnt do a swab only blood and urine test) so we've had stress and hard times about that, but i think there's sumthing to the relationship that was worth all that, maybe there isnt now, i dont think he could cope with me giving him a hard time about it, for a while he did. was a painful time for me and i think i tried to get him to know that like pay back too much. relationship had a rocky beginning. he wants the break as a fresh start so be can be better after the break, like he promises that he wants to be together and he needs a break, mb it is just a soft let down, probably wont work cause its hurt me too much. but do u think its justified the break?
2007-06-07 03:46:40 · update #3
drop him like a hot potato, he wants his cake and his ice cream, he is going to try out a new girl and then you will be the one to lose
2007-06-07 03:22:23 · answer #1 · answered by kat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have had breakups and breaks before. When you are taking a break, you are still going together, you are just taking some time apart to figure out what you are doing wrong in the relationship. Do they work? It depends on the individual. I missed my man, but he didn't care one way or the other. He acted as if he was still with me regardless of which one we were on. The only difference was on the breakup, you don't have to necessarily call the person. Your stressed and he could be stressed. If your problems started over health issues, stress would make them worse. Sometimes it doesn't hurt to see what it will do.
2007-06-07 03:24:15 · answer #2 · answered by cinnatigg 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry you have to go through this...but you boyfriend seems to want to not be committed....I think before you get any more headaches over this just leave him alone.....I wouldn't even talk to him ....He isn't even a man why cant he tell you to your face???....There are plenty of good guys out there that wouldn't treat anyone like this....its terrible...I don't think breaks for 2 months is great cause who knows who he could be messing around with in that time?.....Its hard I know but just pick up the pieces and go on with your life....You will find someone more deserving of you and who appreciates you
2007-06-07 03:34:08 · answer #3 · answered by T B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is playing games with you. Breaks do not work and the couple usually do not get back together. There is a reason that he wants a break. I say be done with it and find someone who does not play games. FYI if a relationship is having problems, you try to make it work before ending it. How can you work things out when you aren't together.
2007-06-07 03:25:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately breaks don't work - they always end in a breakup (atleast from what I've seen). It will be easier on both of you to break up and go your separate ways. That way you won't feel guilty if you find someone new. If things are meant to be with the two of you, maybe you can get back together in the future but personally I would suggest a break up.
2007-06-07 03:25:29 · answer #5 · answered by ♥ Sarah K ♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pink, give him the break he is asking for but do not put your life and happiness on hold waiting for him. Remember - you may think he controls the relationship choice at this moment, but YOU are in control of how things work out for YOU in the end. Use this time to try new things, meet new people, and most of all just be happy.
2007-06-07 03:40:11 · answer #6 · answered by Scott O 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why does he want a break? It sounds to me like he is trying to let you down gently. He wants to break up, but wants to let you be the one to make the decision, this guy is a creep, dump him. He wants to drag it out so if he doesn't find anyone better in the two month break he will still have you sitting there waiting for him, don't do it, you will be making a big fool of yourself.
2007-06-07 03:23:58 · answer #7 · answered by Stuck in the middle of nowhere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, what exactly does he need this break for. It sounds like he is tieing you up, while he has his fun and then if he gets bored you will be there. Do you want to be seconds, no!!!!! think better about yourself, there is a great guy out there just waiting to meet you. If this bf really cared for you, he would try to work through your problems, breaks are not the answer.
2007-06-07 03:24:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is pretty obvious that he wants to date someone else and use you as a back up plan in case the other does not work out . dump his sorry a-- while you can . Be strong and dont let anybody walk on you and yeah that is what he is trying to do is walk on you and you are taking it . Nope dont give him a second chance break up with him . good luck . You will find someone who treats you better and nicer .
2007-06-07 03:25:11 · answer #9 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm personally it sounds like he has someone else on the go. Wants to test the waters for a few months or have some fun then come back to you. I'm not one for issuing those kinds of choices or making them. I would just say lets break up...if he wants to be with you he would its that simple.
2007-06-07 03:21:30 · answer #10 · answered by Joseph 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No real hope. He's most definitely wanting a break to see another woman that he only has this opportunity and time frame for. He may be torn between the choice of pursuing her and hanging on to you. It's your call, but I don't see a future with him, because he'll proably cheat on you again--with or without a break.
2007-06-07 03:25:37 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋