im a bit down?

Question

i need cheering up so has anyone got any good jokes or comforting words as my hearts just got broken

Answer 1

sorry and hug to you,
humor to a broken heart can be brittle-let Jesus comfort you that is what works for me-till you can laugh happy-in amazing grace-in amazing grace that saved me Revelation 3 (verses 19&20) He loves each of us & knocks on our heart door to come in and forgive sin when we repent-even of one lie, and Jesus says then I will begin a fellowship with you as my friend, when you ask me in. praying for you, David

Answer 2

The problem with broken hearts, is that nothing can heal them except time. Just give it time. Do some things you love to do! I went through the same thing. I thought I would never be happy again, but time "worked it's magic" and I feel great now. Don't concentrate about what happened. Hope this helps! Good luck!

Answer 3

Watch a funny movie, or find funny clips on the net-stupidvideos.com,ifilm.com,youtube.com, or dailymotion.com. Or watch something really sad and just cry your eyes out. But do mourn your heart break and then let it go. Think of all the things that are going right for you. This pain is just for now and will go away when you are ready to move on. Feel free to chat me up if you want. Good Luck

Answer 4

I've got something to cheer you up :o)


A beautiful young woman, on an international flight, asked the priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favour?"

"Of course you may. What can I do for you?"

"Well, I bought this expensive electronic hair dryer that is well over the Customs limits and I'm afraid that they'll confiscate it from me. Is there anyway that you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?"

"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie."

"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."

When they got to Customs, the young lady let the priest go ahead of her. The Customs Officer asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"

"From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare."

The Officer thought this answer strange, so he asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"

"I have a marvellous little instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused."

Roaring with laughter, the Officer said, "God bless you, Father, go ahead."

Answer 5

Life is short, enjoy the ride, noone gets out alive anyway. Look, I know life sucks now. But having survived at least 20 broken hear, gonna die, near death experiences I can promise you that somewhere out there is someone who will love you, for you, forever. Live for you and let love find you when your not looking, makes a nice suprise...:)

Answer 6

here ya go!

Dear Abby,

I'm a crack dealer in Beaumont , Texas who has recently been diagnosed
as a carrier of HIV virus. My parents live in Fort Worth . One of my
sisters lives in Pflugerville and is married to a transvestite.

My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling
marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who
are prostitutes in Dallas .

I have two brothers: one is currently serving a non-parole life sentence
at Huntsville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother
is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his
three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in
Longview . She is a part time "working girl".


All things considered, my problem is this. I love my fianci and look
forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally
open and honest with her.

Should I tell her about my cousin who supports Hillary Clinton for
President?

Signed,
Worried About My Reputation

Answer 7

Hope you'd feel better soon, and you'd be in my prayers God willing.

A man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and asked,"You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"
"Why?" she asks.
"Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere."

Answer 8

do u think jokes can cheer u more than sharing ur problems??

Answer 9

I'm sorry you're down.

Here is the funniest waxing story I've ever read...


All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of
easy, painless removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and
now ... the wax.

My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner,
and play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring
painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the
waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet." So I headed to the site of
my demise: the bathroom.

It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax,
you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you
peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you
pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be?

I mean, I'm not a Genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to
figure this out. (YA THINK!?!)

So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each
other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius
kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees.
("Cold wax," yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the
skin around it tight and pull. It works! OK, so it wasn't the best
feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer
eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker
of smooth skin extraordinaire.

With my next wax strip, I move north. After checking on the kids, I
sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting
championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet.
Using the same procedure, I apply the one strip across the right side
of my bikini line, covering the right half of my *hoo-hoo* and
stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long
strip)

I inhale deeply and brace myself.... RRRRIIIPPP!!!!
I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!! .... OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!
Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half
the strip.
OH NO! What have I done???!!!

Another deep breath and RRIIPP!! Everything is swirly and spotted. I
think I may pass out...must stay conscious...Do I hear crashing
drums???

Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - a
wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my
hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my
triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip!

There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???

Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see
the hair. The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am
touching wax.

WHAT?! I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body,
which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the
next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped up on the
toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. My LIFE
FLASHES BEFORE ME!!!!!! I hear the slamming of a cell door. *Hoo-
hoo*? Sealed shut! Butt?? Sealed shut!

I penguin-walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do
and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My
head may pop off!" What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot
water melts wax!!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the
bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt
and I can gently wipe it off, right??? WRONG!!!!!!!

I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to
torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.
Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued
Together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom
of the tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt
cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had
cement-epoxied myself to the porcelain!!

God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a
phone put in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she
has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone.

It's a very good conversation starter, "So, my butt and who-ha are
glued together to the bottom of the tub!"

There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for
removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to
know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or hoo-
ha?"

She's laughing out loud by now....I can hear her. I give her the
rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.

YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should become the joke of someone else's night.

While we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax
off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie
goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot
water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!!

By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike, and
I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling
for this event.

My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving
grace.... the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. I
really, what do I have to lose at this point? I rub some on and .....
OH MY GOD!!!!!!!

The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my
friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It
works!!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs
up.

I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my
grief and despair....

THE HAIR IS STILL THERE ... ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!

So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I
could have amputated my own leg at this point. Next week I'm going to
try hair color... Now that's funny... Notttttttttt!!!! Send this on
to other ladies who need a good laugh.

Answer 10

Sorry. Hope this big HUG helps a bit 8o)