I'm an atheist but my wife's parents are fundamental Christians, WHAT DO I DO?

Question

I'm an out-and-out atheist, and my mother and father-in-law are actually fundamentalist Christians. The kind that don't really 'believe' in evolution, the kind that take almost all of the Bible literally, the kind that believe Noah's Ark really happened...

And I just don't know what to do. I see them every day, and they're always saying things like "Pray for this," or "It's all in god's plan," etc.

They think, for whatever reason, that I'm a Christian too. My wife is an agnostic, and that would be a huge disappointment to them as well.

I really think they'd be sickened to hear that their daughter and his husband dropped their Christian roots...

WHAT DO I DO?!

Thanks for the help.

Answer 1

I have the same situation. I simply am honest towards my fiance's parents. They know I'm an atheist, they don't like it, but at least I managed to get them to respect my beliefs, just as I respect their beliefs.

Sometimes I go to church with them, sometimes they watch me when I play a tennis match. That's basically the same thing. Give and take a little.

It'll get harder when we have kids in the future. I don't intend to raise my children as atheists, but I will raise them as free-thinkers who are entitled to make their own decisions when it comes to following a religion. I don't want anybody to try and force any religion upon them, including my parents-in-law.

But I'm not worried. My mouth is big enough to make sure that won't happen.

Just be honest to them, really. What kind of human beings would they be if they can't accept their son-in-law as he is?

Answer 2

Don't burst their bubble. You know that they are living in the delusion that many people are a part of, and are more than likely never going to see the light. Just smile and nod. Go through the motions at family get togethers if it keeps the peace. But, most importantly, ask your wife how she wants the two of you to be around them. This will not only help you know what would be best to do,in her opinion, but it will earn you some big brownie points with the little woman for showing her that you're willing to shelf your convictions temporarily to make her parents happy.

Answer 3

Why do you have to "do" anything? Just respect their beliefs and stay out of the conversations at family gatherings.

I also have family members that have fallen into the fundamentalist trap, and as much as I might be tempted to try and talk some sense into them, I know that they're just not receptive to logical discourse. So I bite my tongue and smile.

Now, if they deliberately *provoke* you into a debate on the subject, then things may get a little hairy. Just decline the discussion as politely as possible, with the explanation that you and your wife are trying to "find your own way," and if they want to pray for you, then that's terrific.

Then steer the discussion toward sports.

Answer 4

Well. . i am a Christian, so my viewpoint will obviously be swayed by my beliefs. But I think that my answer applies to all religions and beliefs. Whenever there is a debate as to the fundamental beliefs between two different religions, you have two options: 1.) to respect what the other person beliefs and try to "get along" and live in a world where everyone has their own beliefs and as long as noone is stepping on another's toes, you can live as if everthing is OK or 2.) you can once again respect their beliefs and dig deep to challenge what they believe and what you believe. I do not believe that there can be two different truths, either you are right or they are. Not to sway you, but there have been many, many cases of athiests who have converted to theism after long hours of digging deep, however, it is rare for a theist to convert to atheism. Hope this helps.

Answer 5

How bad is it to hear that someone is praying for you? Does it change your life if they don't believe in evolution? Do you feel the need to upset them and potentially sever your wife's relationship with them over a fight about religion? Is there anything wrong with just letting it be, and accepting that they believe differently than you? Most likely, you knew this before you were married, correct? Has something changed since then? Do you have kids now? What would be the worst thing that could happen to your kids if they were exposed to different views than your own?

Just because your beliefs are different, doesn't have to sever your relationship. Accept them as is, for your wifes sake. My Mother in Law is Catholic, and we don't go to church, but we live by our own set of values. We don't fight about it, we sometimes have conversations that are very interesting. If you ask someone with geniuine interest about their beliefs, not judging them one way or another, its a great conversation.

Just remember you and your inlaws have one VERY IMPORTANT THING IN COMMON,
You both love your wife. Live a good life, and let them believe what they want to. You are free to do the same. But I can tell you, antagonizing a person or picking a fight over it is not a peaceful way to live. Just leave this alone.

Answer 6

Don't worry about it, honestly, they'll get over it. My husband and I are agnostic.

My parents do know that I'm not religious, they probably just don't know what exactly that means for some strange reason since they still ask us to pray for people. They are very religious but don't ask us any questions. It's not a topic of conversation anymore, they've come to terms with the fact that we are not Christians. It's nice!

Answer 7

1st: @ Pakistani for existence: who advised u that it fairly is nice for a Muslim lady to marry a non-Muslim guy whilst God says interior the Quran: "immediately are (all) good issues made lawful for you. The nutrients of people who've won the Scripture is lawful for you, and your nutrients is lawful for them. And so are the virtuous women of the believers and the virtuous women of people who won the Scripture earlier you (lawful for you) whilst ye supply them their marriage parts and stay with them in honour, no longer in fornication, nor taking them as secret concubines. Whoso denieth the religion, his artwork is ineffective and he would be between the losers interior the Hereafter. " 5:5 It pronounced the virtuous women of people who won the Scripture earlier you, and it did no longer say adult males in any respect. wa alaykom elsalam sister ok, i do no longer think of that the reason of why the Muslim lady isn't meant to marry a non-Muslim guy is that a fathers religious concept has extra impression on their infants. The Muslim lady isn't meant to marry a non-Muslim considering the undeniable fact that's what God advised us so. The Muslim guy believes in all the prophets alongside with Moses and Jesus (peace be upon them), and in all the scriptures such via fact the Torah and the Bible. If a Muslim guy did marry a Christian or a Jewish lady he will enable her to pass to the Temple or the Church and practice her faith freely, via fact Islam understand those religions. If a non-Muslim guy did marry a Muslim lady understand is purely long gone, via fact regardless of if he allowed her to coach her faith and did no longer attack or bash Islam he already considers the prophet Muhammed (pbuh) a faux prophet and could at last have confidence any rumor it fairly is against the Islam. And understand is the comparable reason that God allowed the Muslim guy to marry "in easy terms" a Muslim lady or from the human beings of the e book. If a Muslim guy married a woman who worships an idol as an example the sentiments of reverence and understand won't exist, and those 2 are from the fundamentals that any marriage interior the international could remember on. I believe you that a fathers religious concept has extra impression on their infants does no longer make any sense. the two one among my mom and dad are Muslims and that i'm inspired extra via mom no longer in easy terms religiously yet in addition in many different stuff, like way of questioning and performing.

Answer 8

I suggest that you try and accept them for who they are and what they believe in. If they cannot accept the same of you, then you have a problem. Religion will always cause a bit of friction, especially among those who are on rather opposite ends of the spectrum. Besides, you are all adults and are entitled to believe in what you will. Like I said before, if they cannot accept this, then that is their problem. Good luck and Blessed Be ^_^

Answer 9

Well,if they don't try to get into your children's'(or potential children's)pursuit of knowledge,and they don't really do more than you say."OK,thanks"will work. If they really want to convert you,tell them where you stand. If you are married,you are grown. Be a man and stand up. But if it is only little references,and what they think of you is more important,then just keep the talk steered away from the subject. You should not be ashamed to be atheist

Answer 10

Tongue in cheek answer first..... Pray.

Eventually you will have to have that conversation with them. It will be important not to criticize their belief while telling them how your belief differs. They will probably be disappointed but I am sure you will get somewhere the response of we will pray for you. Then do not bring the subject up again and if they do answer briefly and change the subject.