in a relationship with a bipolar man, exhausting,?

Question

i can handle the vile moods and the manic states. But the constant perving at other women the exegerations, he pretends that he has seen other women to make me jeolous, and he is starting to put me down a lot. I am starting to think i have made too many allowances because of his chemical imbalance and maybe im just dealing with a jerk

Answer 1

My bipolar disorder never has made me pretend to have seen other women or lie at all. Any lies I've ever told were my choice. Bipolar disorder made me more desperate to resort to lies sometimes, but I didn't have to lie. Still I suppose exaggerations are inevitable when one is having intense emotions. Reality seems exaggerated, so it's inescapable to talk that way some.

I suppose one exaggeration is that women all look so beautiful to me, even after my meds have my moods where they should be. Men don't affect me that way. They're just part of the background. Go figure. I hear some people have that same perception of both genders, though.

I once demonstrated for a friend that I could tell the back of my hand, "You are the most beautiful woman in the world," and be utterly sincere about that. It's not acting. I can find these powerful feelings in me that let me imagine that even for the back of my hand, if I let myself get into that idea. I don't know if that's past experience with bipolar disorder that made such connections in me or some ongoing chemistry of bipolar disorder that makes me that way, but I am constantly reminded of how beautiful women are. I've known that some since puberty, but bipolar disorder does push that up a few notches.

That doesn't mean bipolar disorder forces anyone to be unfaithful. Maybe if someone is thoroughly manic he or she doesn't have enough sense of reality to keep from acting on romantic emotions with just anyone, but short of that if someone is unfaithful, he or she chooses that just as someone with normal emotions does.

Putdowns are the same way. I know what it's like to feel irrespressibly good about myself. And in that I'm bound to feel I'm better than someone else, but that doesn't mean I express that in ways that demean someone else. Adolescence made me cruel sometimes, but then I learned better. Bipolar disorder doesn't bring that cruelty back.

So what I'm saying is that some of what you're experiencing in your man is not bipolar disorder. I'm sure full blown bipolar disorder is a challenge for anyone in that there is no longer a place to hide the evil within us, but it's not the bipolar disorder that makes us evil. The moodiness is the bipolar disorder. I understand the challenge of living with that, but meds should decrease that to something manageable. Lack of love is not bipolar disorder. That's who someone is as a person. Medicines don't change that apart from letting someone hide it again, as normal people do.

Answer 2

you shouldn't let his medical condition be an excuse for him to treat you badly. if he was really sorry, he'd get medication and therapy, which it doesn't sound like he's doing. and if he is, he's not being honest with someone. either he's lying to his doc and saying everthings okay, or he's lying to you and blaming everything on being bipolar when he is just a jerk. either way, if you're unhappy, get out. you have to be your #1 concern. i loved and had to let go of a bipolar man. it killed me, but he was emotionally and sometimes physically abusive. then he started using cocaine which made things so mch worse. the good times were great, but the bad times were untollerable.

Answer 3

Bipolar is a disease that you will always have to deal with. He will always be changing meds and having some sort of ups and downs. His life expectancy is 8 years shorter than the rest of us. If you love him and have the patience than stay the course, but it will not be an easy road.

Answer 4

particular i exchange into for 3 years. We by no capacity did say I do and it exchange into clever to not. I also have a standing restraining order on him and left while i exchange into thoroughly drained of all capability. I could have left interior the commencing up yet i assumed on the time that he exchange into going to loosen up finally and that i could be waiting to cajole him that drugs does exist to handle this project. I additionally was hoping as quickly as we moved in mutually his paranoia of my leaving him could ease up. He by no capacity have been given help and he by no capacity replaced. I went via 2 years of therapy to regain myself. My suggestion? Run and don't seem back. particular i be conscious of that as quickly as he's himself he's the proper guy in the international yet issues can exchange in under a 2nd for no reason. Even interior the process eating a meal with out one be conscious stated past. each thing from the paper being overdue interior the morning or not sufficient funds to pay charges exchange into continually my fault.

Answer 5

The fact that you're sticking with him reguardless of his bipolar says a lot about you, if he can't see that he's blind, the last thing he should be doing is trying to making you jealous, he's just taking advantage now, be assertive & tell him you care about him but if he is going to play those games with you then you can break up with him so he can do whatever he wants.

Answer 6

He needs to get on meds and then you'll see who he really is. You're just getting glimpses. My mom is bipolar and not on meds. It can be awful to live with someone with bipolar, I'm not even sure what a romantic relationship would be like. Try to realize that his thinking is way messed up, and in some ways he really isn't aware that he's hurting you. Talk to him about your feelings, using "I" language of course. Be patient and good luck.

Answer 7

Some times we Bi-polars get mean like that. Our illness can cause insecurity, which sounds like it could be. Also He may be testing you to see how durable you are. I have pushed and been real mean to my husband at times. I know deep inside I've tried to get him to leave me because I can't stand myself and what I do to others. He says he isn't leaving so he just has to ride the waves of this emotional turmoil that we go through. You need to figure out what is most important to you, your sanity and self worth. You don't sound like you are married so you do have an easier option to leave. Educate yourself on bipolar and see how things go. If you decide to stay you need to have stubbornness as strong as steel. Are you strong enough? It can cause you great mental stress that could cause you an illness.

Answer 8

Is he on meds? Bipolar can be managed successfully, although finding the right dosage can take awhile. It is NOT easy to continue to deal with, however, if he is not willing to cooperate.

Answer 9

<