Love the woman, hate her perfume. Should I tell her or just stay upwind ?

Question

She's a friend I made at the gym, and sometimes we do a long walk together instead of working out. Just before coming out, she splashes on this really vile perfume, I don't know the name but it's one of those "airport" perfumes. I'm afraid to ask her what it is in case she says "Oh do you like it?" and I'll have to answer.

I walk as far away from her as I can when she's downwind, or until it wears off a bit. Now, here's the thing - do I tell her I hate her perfume, or keep my trap shut. I really like her and enjoy our walks. Would you be offended if someone said they really liked you but your perfume made them heave ?

jimobasa - unfortunately, I have a nose like a bloodhound. I know from the synthetic aqua top notes that it's an airport perfume (the kind you buy in airports) and I know it's quite a modern one.

Michael, I too am suspicious of statistics, especially those quoted in the tabloids. They are always full of scare stories, it sells papers. But - apart from violent crime - which has risen slightly - I think crime has gone down slightly in recent years. I think the Police are as lazy as the rest of us.

Answer 1

my best mate and i had that problem too. she told me that she didnt like one of my perfumes - fair enough, everybody's got different tastes, and i didnt like one of hers. so now we dont wear them when we're out with eachother. better to be upfront about it.
good luck.

Answer 2

For a bloke, to comment on anything worn by a woman is a minefield(mindfield). It maybe hard to believe, but there must be a customer base, for that perfume and the manufacturer must have had some market research. What I'm trying to say people have different tastes as I'm sure you know. So will all you women, chill a bit and be a bit more honest.
And what wrong with airport perfume, I got gallon for a penny. Bargain!


Yesterday you answered my question with a question, Answer; No real reason, but walking to the shops that day. I saw 2 copper's in 2 cars gabbin' whilst just around the corner, kids on motorbikes were ridding around. As for stats. they are manipulates too much, to take much notice of. I believe a lot of crime is unreported. But I wanted to see the response.

Answer 3

Just be honest with her by telling her that the perfum she wears makes you heave. Only a fool would be annoyed if somebody told them the truth.

Mind the words or the terms you use when telling her so that she does not get the wrong impression. As much as the truth hurts, it is better that she knows and you will be surprised by her response. She might even stop using this perfume and start using another that will not make you heave.

Be wise and all the best.

Answer 4

Don't think about it too much. The next time she comes out with it on, simply sniff dramatically with your eyes darting back and forth and ask "What IS that smell?"
An analysis of what the smell might be will ensue and that is the moment that you innocently say: "Oh, wow, it's your perfume, then sheepishly look away as if to say an unspoken: 'I'm sorry'." This will plant the seed in her head that her perfume wreaks and the job will be done.
No one - except people with issues - wants to offend others with their smell and if she's a woman who takes a lot of pride in her appearance (evident by the fact that she even bothers with the perfume) then she will get rid of the offending odour quick enough.

Answer 5

I would get her a great smelling perfume and ask her what the perfume she is wearing. tell her that you have noticed that the stuff she is wearing is making your nose stuffed up. I have had friends tell me they didnt like a certain perfume on me when i thought it smelled good. i was thankful since i didnt want to walk around giving people headaches.

Answer 6

Simple - do what I do - next time you're around - rub your forhead a little bit and say "Man - my sinuses are killing me" ...out of common concern, she should ask if you know why, then say, I'm highly sensitive to strong smelling perfumes and I think yours is a bit much for my nose, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings by telling you". She won't be mad, instead, be impressed that you suffered to spare her feelings.

Answer 7

Just say hey you know i really like you, and enjoy our time together, so you know i would not say anything to upset you on purpose, but ........ your perfume makes me a little ill, sorry, but I'm just being honest as i like you so much !.

Then ask if she would not mind changing it when she's with you !.

I did that with a mate, he stunk of cheap aftershave and it made me feel sick, and he didn't take offence and now he just uses a normal deodorant.

Good Luck :-)

Answer 8

Tell her. I used to work with a woman whose perfume used to give me sinus headaches. I could not bear to be in the same room with her. I know it was expensive perfume, but I said nothing.

Tell her. That is the best way to change things.

Answer 9

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Answer 10

Why not go shopping, and buy her a perfume as a gift, tell her to wear it for you. I know that is what my boyfriend did years ago, and we ended up married.

I never thought about it, maybe he did not like my perfume. I always wore what he bought me because I knew he liked it..

Answer 11

I think I'd be glad they told me, but I agree it is a tricky one to address. Maybe you could try to address it in terms of it being more YOUR problem and less hers, like for example "I am afflicted with a really sensitive sense of smell, and I often find the smell of perfumes [like yours] a bit over-powering; I wish I didn't have this problem and I hope you won't think me really selfish if ask you not use it before you and I go out together?"