ok so my boyfriend has 4 kids... i know that is alot. he is not some low life with no money and too many kids though he is a successful business man that spoils his children to death. anyway i get along with the 3 youngest ones. the are 13,9,and 7. but the oldest one is 16 and she wont even give me a chance!! what should i do to let her know i am a good person and i just want to be her friend? should i just be patient? i need help because every time she comes over, she wont look at me or talk to me and there is this weird tension in the air...... help!!
2007-06-06 16:58:15 · 10 answers · asked by Megan W. 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I would be patient. She is at a difficult age right now remember how crazy your emotions can be at 16?? I have no idea how long her parents have been divorced, but she may really want them back together or something. She will see over time that you are a good person. Who knows how long this will all last, but I feel if you try and force yourself on her it will push her further away.
2007-06-06 17:10:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are going to have to give her (the 16 year old) time. She is probably hostile that you and not her biological mother is dating your dad. She is also familial intrusion issues in question. The best thing you need to do is be the best person you can be, keep interacting with the other children who is open towards you.
The best thing you can do about the tension caused by the 16 year old is to tell your boyfriend about it and any problems she may cause. In the end, it may be his job to soothe out any problems between you two. Then again, she may never see you as anyone other than some guy dad is dating.
2007-06-07 00:08:45 · answer #2 · answered by davester1970 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please be patient. I've had bad experiences with step-parents. Although, my stepmom kicks ***! I love her! But then again, she's been my stepmom since I was very young. My old stepdad can rot in a hole for all I care. While dating my legal guardian, he was all nice to us and then when they got married he was a total asshole! He mad 10-20 grand a week and never bought us anything. He got my name wrong after 5 years and got me my birthday present a month after my birthday. He used to hit my and my siblings. Gosh what a ******' pain in the ***, I'm so glad it's over. x]
Btw, I'm 15, 16 in July, I'm not that far from the oldest. Maybe she's just getting adapted to seeing her dad dating someone. Be patient, and be nice as much as possible, show her you're trying. That's enough for me. :D
2007-06-07 00:06:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
just be patient. she's mostly like not "mad" at you or anything, but rather she doesn't know how to deal with another female figure in her life? not sure what the story is with her mother, but I think you need to be patient. don't try to push for a relationship or you may totally scare her away, but at the same time let her know you're there whenever, wherever ya know? leave the ball in her court. I think she may start to respect you for that.
2007-06-07 00:03:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Her father needs to talk to her and tell her to at least try and give you a chance. You should let her come to you when she is ready, don't push it. Teens are always more trouble. She probably resents you, thinking you are trying to be her mom. Just be polite but don't go out of your way to get her to talk to you. If she sees the others liking you, she will come around, but if not, she will probably move out when she is 18 and you won't have to have her over anymore.
2007-06-07 00:02:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Rebelious 16 year old girl who is not liking the sharing of her dad. Dont make your boyfriend feel as though he must make her like you as that will make her resent YOU more. Try breaking the ice when you are all watching tv together and something comes on tha she likes, asker about it, get her talking atleast.
2007-06-07 00:02:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just stay out of her way...don't push. She does not like the fact her father is dating, she wants her mom & dad back together...or she wants to be the "woman" in his life (not in a sick way...you should know what I mean) If you are living there...it is going to take her a while to adjust.
Make sure you have dad do special things with her, and only her...so she knows she can never be "replaced"...
2007-06-07 00:04:46 · answer #7 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
talk to her as if there is no tension there at all and dont look at your attemts as failers but as one step closer to success you should try including her or asking what kinds of things she likes to do and do them with her or take her to get her nails done with just the two of you or something kill her with kindness
2007-06-07 00:06:34 · answer #8 · answered by MJ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes you should just be patient, she will have to come to terms in her own time.
2007-06-07 00:02:25 · answer #9 · answered by LatterDaySaint and loving it 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yer another competing female for daddies attention rite now,,,,,be loose,giver time,,shell warm up
2007-06-07 00:44:08 · answer #10 · answered by quackpotwatcher 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋