The pros and cons of allowing our young sons and daughters to date?

Question

As christian parents is it healthy for us to encourage our sons and daughters to date while they are in the pre and teen years?
Can these experiences do positive or negative things for them and how have you seen it affect young people in your generation.

A time and season for everything....How can we teach our young people this in relation to dating and courtship and marriage as christian parents and youth workers.

Answer 1

As parents we are first and foremost concerned with our childrens happiness, welfare. and future; Most importantly thier everlasting future. Today Bible standards are widely ignored. Professor of sociology David Mace notes: “During the present century our culture has undergone extensive changes, and many ancient customs and institutions have been shaken to their foundations. Marriage has been no exception.” Loose moral practices are common. Sexual relations between teenage dating couples are often viewed as normal. Living together before marriage—‘just to make sure’—is frequent. And once couples get married, illicit sexual affairs are not uncommon.
youths are in the vulnerable period of life the Bible calls “the bloom of youth.” (1 Corinthians 7:36) During this time, you may feel powerful surges of sexual desire. There is nothing wrong with this; it is a part of growing up.

A big problem lies with teenage dating: Teenagers are just beginning to learn how to control sexual feelings. Even if they well know God’s laws regarding sex and sincerely desire to remain chaste. A biological fact of life is the more they keep company with a member of the opposite sex, the more sexual desire can grow. It is the way all of us are made! Until they are older and more in control of their feelings, dating may simply be too much to handle.
True, not all dating teens end up having sexual relations; some let their displays of affection stop just short of it. But what results when one is worked up emotionally and has no honorable outlet for such feelings? Guaranteed frustration. And those frustrations are not limited to sexual feelings.
Here are some questions to ask yourself concerning your child: How well do they know God's laws on sexual immorality? Are they motivated to obey them? Are they prepared to deal with others whose standards may not be as high? Will dating help or hurt their emotional growth?

Answer 2

My parents made me wait till I was 16 and even though I know that I was mature enough at a younger age (my parents taught me really well) I really appreciate now that they made me wait. And I don't think that it always leads to sex. I'm 17 right now and I'm still looking for a boyfriends, because my parents taught my so well I know not to date the wrong people(thats not to say that I won't make a few mistakes) but I will know better than to make really big mistakes and I know that my parents trust me enough not to have sex that it's more important to me to keep that trust than to go get laid. The only way a guy is getting in my pants before I'm 18 or older is if he forces me. Anyways I do see your point in the fact that most kids are too young to have a relationship I also think that it has to do with how they are raised, even if they are older if they've never had any real guidance then they are bound to make mistakes.

Answer 3

Kids should not date until 16 and then only in group dates. I have seen so many pre teen kids having babies, getting abortions and getting STD's. Kids grow up a lot faster in this day and age, with all the sexually explicit material on t.v , radio, and magazines, the internet. We as parents need to show our kids to be kids for as long as possible, rushing them into adulthood has done more harm then good.Keep kids active in church, sports,volunteering, and they will remain good kids.

Answer 4

1st real ques. No 2nd ques with no ? Yes, negative Do you have that much time . That is what I see a lot of parents asking themselves. They better take the time to find out who Tammy or Tommy likes. Are they saved? Do they go to church? And the best one do they tithe?

Answer 5

I'm a christian teen. and allowing your kids to date will show that you trust them, and trust is something you may want later on...but a con is that they'll get hurt by it. but everyone is gonna get hurt sometime and you can't hold on forever.

try talking, open communications can work wonders. =]

Answer 6

they can meet in groups not pairing up..just to learn about the opposite sex.

If they are of legal age and have a job and can support a wife them young men can date with a chaperon.
And young women should be old enough to bear children and be a good wife.

Answer 7

if you dont allow them to do it trust me they will find a way to do it behind your back, if your allowing them to do it perhaps they will chose people to date that you approve of, like other kids from curch. its a positve thing because it helps them find out who they are and the more you push your ways on them the more they are going to rebel. i've seen it with both of my sisters one is a stripper now and the other got arrested for shoplifting and my parents shoved curch and the bible down our throughts the whole time growing up. maybe its something to think about.

Answer 8

depends on your culture and the way you raise your children.....we don't suppress our children our role as parents is to advise and directs..... if you raise your children the right way they learn to be responsible and if not they squander.....

Teach them the scripture at the early age so that they will not depart in the days of confusion.....

Answer 9

If you don't let them date sweetie, they will rebel and you will lose them. Trust your children to do what is right. Prepare them by giving them information. ALL information.

Answer 10

No pros,the whole thing is forbidden in Islam.