What's wrong with me?

Question

It's hard even now to share my problems in front of a computer as I have never done it before but here goes.I believe I have some kind of mental illness judging by the way I live my life.Sometimes I wake up at 7 AM barely waking up sometimes (rarely) at 4 AM. I am 18 years old. I stay too much at the PC,have 2 voices ,a changing one and a normal one,everyone knows me by my changing one because I never used the other one.I try to do some exercises but give up the next few days,and the cycle repeats itself.This spitting fetish of mine has become a daily obsession. I am lazy.Some things that I once did with pleasure seem now just a waste of time.Most of the time my thoughts are to kill everyone that opposes me.And no I don't cry ,because all of my emotions have dried out,I am now an addicted,lifeless soul with slight attempts of recovery that mostly end up smashed.I am also very obsessive with schedules and plans. I look for order ,but I really am sloppy.I hope this can be helped.

In the past I was anxious ,but now I am only tensed and inclined to tell people ugly words,forgot to mention that.
I feel guilty for most of the day and tell myself the next one will be perfect ,but guess what ? it isn't.

I have only one "true" friend,he is even more troubled ,being paranoid and all.

I don't like reading poetry, but I like to speak clear about my feelings ,so these 2 adjectives seem to describe myself somewhat

Thanks for the volunteering advice,I signed up for a translation job between English and my native language.

Answer 1

I am thankful for all the sincere responses you've received thus far. So often people can be so desensitized and forget that there are real people with real problems sitting behind the words we read on a screen.

You've already received some great advice/feedback. The only other thing I thought of adding was the fact that there isn't one thing that the Most High Creator cannot fix.

I am not a religious bible-banger, but I AM SPIRITUAL! And I know that there is a CREATOR a HIGHER BEING that can provide what we need. Open your mind. Clear your thoughts, and sit in peace. Breathe, and begin to think and reject the thoughts of negative and begin speaking positive changes into your life. Ask the Universe for Strength and Clarity. Begin to visualize yourself where you want to be. It will come to pass...

Stand up... do not be a victim!

Sending positive vibes your way, I wish you the Best.
S

Answer 2

Hi I know what you mean, i was the very same way,the drugs and booze weren't doing any thing any more nothing matered i just wanted to end it all but a friend of mine (the last one i had) would not give up on me. I ended up at the doctors and i was diagnosed as bi-polar (severe depression) he prescribed antidepressants and obviously had to get help for my addictions. A few years have past now and I'm proud to say that I'm clean and sober for c couple of years now and I'm living a completely normal life and i am happier than i have ever been mind you it wasn't easy but you can do it too

Answer 3

Narcisistic Personality Disorder -
Seeks pleasure in doing things for yourself.
Everything revolves around you.
If you do not get what you want you don't care about other people you only care about yourself and what you can gain in any given situation.
You don't bother cleaning up because you are obsessive compulsive and you can't concentrate on getting somethign clean because it has to be perfect.
You have a problem that can be managed.
Only you can change this problem.

You have to want to change.
You can start by getting your things off your floor and trying to get them in the garbage or wherever they belong. Do this for twenty minutes at a time as I know how hard it is for you to concentrate on it because you become bored. Then stop and go do something else.

Ten Years Mental Health Experiance.

Answer 4

well the best person to help you is yourself, i have never had a problem like this and probably neither have anyother person because your life is unique and what your going through is unique to you

somethings that helped me through everyday life, and i dont know if this will relate to you or not, was looking at the positive side, especially of people and especially of myself. I had a neck for people, for example there was a teach in my class who everybody thought was a complete *****, her attitude was horrible, but for some reason i could see past her attitude and see that her intent was really to help everyone of her students, it was her methods that were horrible so instead of hating the person i hated the teaching style and it made all the difference, i found the class alot easyer and lost alot less nerves than some of the other people there. For some reason looking at possitive things about yourself is alot harder though, dont ask me why, it just is! People tend to always exadurate the bad things they have done, like forgeting their keys and silly things like that, but do people ever congradulate themselves for REMEMBERING thier keys all those other times??? Rarely, so even though there is alot of bad in a persons life there is probably alot of good there too that they have either forgoten or taken for granted and need to revisit it..... Or it could just be hormones, i think every single teen has do deal with this crap at some point in puberty so it could just be a chemical thing that will take time to heal, just take time and see what happons, all the best

Answer 5

Do you have someone you can confide in? A friend, teacher, family member? It might help if you can actually talk to someone. I know what you mean by wanting to exercise then giving up. It seems to me that you need some motivation a drive for something. Set some goals and why you want to acheive them. Like for example exercising : You want to be healthy and look and feel great! Tell yourself everyday....so you can get motivated. About your voices..I'm not sure but everything that you've described it seems as though you don't want to let people in your life. Be happy with yourself, accept yourself for who you are. Once you do this, you can shhow your true voice to others.

Answer 6

You got me a llittle puzzled! But just a little bit of what your saying I use to related from one of my relatives, First throw out the bad thoughts don't hurt anyone because you feel sad, Go see a love story movie or something really funny, drink juices with sugar in it to build up the laziness a little and don't you have a buddy /or even a girl in you life, family? There is some one you can go to and try to enjoy life,see what it's about, your too young and haven't experienced nothing yet, Try something new and different but be nice about it,go play a viedo game kick it's but not a human being plz..
Go see a hospital priest if you don't have one of your own but seek some help..

Answer 7

It SOUNDS like you're 18. Its kinda of what alot of teenagers are going thru so you're not alone. You need to find something, anything that you really enjoy. You gotta stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something for others. Try volunteerism. Like a soup kitchen or being a Big Brother. Doing things for others will help you stop thinking about everything that YOU think is wrong with your life. Once you see how other people live and what they DON'T have, you'll soon forget about your problems.

Answer 8

Wow - you are in a tight spot ! Are you expecting just a little too much out of life - or have you been reading too much poetry ? "addicted , lifeless soul " I think you have answered your own question - your expectations are high - order , exercise/discipline , people not bowing to you "opposing me" but really you are just a little human - lazy etc . Well ,welcome to the real world . Try your best , praise achievements but don't expect the world around you to fit into your grand plan .

Answer 9

You have to go to the Doctor and tell him that. Print it out and hand it to him. I have some of that too. #1 depression. #2 compulsive and manic. You will get help just make an appointment.

Answer 10

There was a time I was exactly like you. See a doctor there is help out there. If not with meds perhaps with counseling. Don't give up. Good luck.