He is 26 and is currently living at home and refuses to get a job because he is always "busy" writing screenplays. I told him to go get a job and to do that as a hobby on the side but he tells me if he gets a job he'll have no time to write. I don't want to tell him that he will probably never sell his scripts but I don't know what to do! Any ideas?
2007-06-06 15:32:34 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I have had a similar problem with my son. He is 22 and his thing has always been drums. He has made a lot of money for commercials and shows and now at sea world and also teaching part time at a high school. But, before that we went through 6 months of him trying to get a job and losing them and all. He did not want a full time job because of drum line. now he has aged out of drum line. My son also has add. And that makes it very hard tool first get your son to a therapist for a consultation if he refuses tell him that is the only way he will be allowed to stay. many be counseling will help
2007-06-06 15:38:14 · answer #1 · answered by shelly92555 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do not put an ad in the paper. That will pretty much kill any chance he ever has. No one wants to hire a guy who needs his parents to beg for someone to take him on. In fact, try to have as little to do with the process as possible. Helping is fine, but the employers are hiring HIM, not him as presented by you. Social anxiety is hard to deal with. I have it, and it's not easy, especially since most of the jobs he probably qualifies for will be in the retail/customer service industry (restaurants, grocery stores...) First, see if you can't get him some help for that anxiety, if it's really holding him back. If he needs help with "everything", you might need to force him to be more independent. Encourage him to do more things on his own, and don't bail him out when he makes mistakes - let him learn from them. Send him to school so he can learn a trade that will help him find employment and gain confidence. Get him to do volunteer work in your area - he'll gain skills, interact with people, and he use it on his resume/application.
2016-04-01 07:03:51 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him he has 30 days to either find a job, or move out of the house. If after 30 days there's no job, put him out on the street. He's a grown man and needs to start acting like one!
2007-06-06 18:35:48 · answer #3 · answered by Vakari 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i understand that you love him and don't want to discourage is writing, but the truth is your doing more harm than good.
1. stop giving him money
2. tell him starting July 1, he will have to start pay a x amount for rent or get is own place that is your choice if you want him there.
3. remember he is not going to like it, but at some age you need to start being his mother and teach some him some responsibilities.
my son is 19 and pays his own bills. but does live with use for free while still in college and after graduation he has 3 mn. to get an job. and start paying rent or get his own place. i do understand were you are coming from, i hope he choices pay rent and stay home because i enjoy him there every day but its still his choice.
2007-06-06 16:26:02 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
WELL, IT SLL DEPENDS ON HOW HE WAS BROUGHT UP....IF HE HAS NEVER LEFT HOME BEFORE AND YOU NEVER SAID ANYTHING OR IF HE LEFT HOME THEN CAME BACK AND IS NOW JUST TAKING ADVANTAGE OF YOU....EITHER WAY.....YOU CAN CUT OFF ALL HIS RESOURCES...CUT OFF YOUR SUPPORT FINANCIALLY..ONLY GIVE HIM HELP IF ITS SEEKING A JOB..FOR EXAMPLE..IF HE DOES NOT HAVE A CAR...ONLY GIVE HIM A RIDE TO AN INTERVIEW..ECT..IF HE REFUSES TO LEAVE YOU CAN SEEK LEGAL MEASURES AT THE EXTREME....IF HE HAS NO INCOME COMING IN YOU HAVE TO BE PRETTY DRASTIC....IF HIS DAD IS IN HIS LIFE I SUGGEST GETTING HIM TO STEP IN..IF HE IS NOT IN HIS LIFE AND YOU ARE ALONE I WOULD SAY THAT YOU HAVE TO BE STRONG AND TELL HIM HE HAS TO AT LEAST START WITH A PART TIME JOB WITH 30 HOURS A WEEK SO HE CAN PAY SOME RENT AND IF HE SAYS NO....DONT INSULT HIM ABOUT HIS SCRIPTS CAUSE HELL JUST GET DEFENSIVE ..JUST TELL HIM IF HE DOESNT GET A JOB AND AT LEAST PITCH IN FOR UTILITIES AND FOOD THEN YOU WILL TAKE LEGAL MEASURES TO GET A RENTAL CONTRACT MADE UP SO YOU CAN BE HIS LANDLORD..(.ITS POSSIBLE BECAUSE.PEOPLE RENT OUT ROOMS IN THEIR HOUSES TO PEOPLE ALL THE TIME) IF YOU DONT FEEL COMFY WITH GOING THESE ROUTES THEN YOU MIGHT AS WELL GET USED TO YOUR SON LIVING WITH YOU TILL HE SELLS A SCREENPLAY.....TAKE CARE.........
2007-06-06 16:56:05 · answer #5 · answered by BARBI H 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Inform him that it you understand his desire and drive, but that if he did some checking he would discover almost all screenwriters worked other jobs to meet the bills while working on their first few scripts. Then inform him that if he wants to continue living in your house, he will have to pay room and board. This should be "rent" paid to you. It can cover the cost of food and his share of basic utilities. Other costs...the internet or cable to his room, his cell phone, his car and car exspenses (or if he uses your car, his insurance and paying for all the gas he uses as well as part of the repairs and upkeep) should all be his to deal with as well. At 26, he is old enough to work and write...and your continuing to pay for his lifestyle isn't going to give him any reason to change it!
2007-06-06 15:42:06 · answer #6 · answered by Annie 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get a job in a film production company, where he can get his script seen.
But first a law firm to teach him copyright law.
Find something he likes that helps his script wrighting.
Plus point out that research helps scriptrighting so the more he lives and experiences the better the writer he can be
Maybe something like film extra work for the monent... wont get much but he can still do his script writing on a film set as you hang around all day... kinda useful that and he gets past security so maybe could post it to producers
or a job as a runner
2007-06-06 15:37:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
explain to him that everyone needs to contribute to the household. he is old enough to be working and have his own place. He is 26 kick his butt out into the real world and make him fend for himself. everyone has dreams but dreams dont pay the rent. keep that in mind when you tell him he has a certain amount of time to get a job or get out.
2007-06-06 16:00:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
time for him to grow up and move out... pay first months rent for him and thats it.... change your locks.
incidentally my nephew sold a screen play that is now a movie and book (well it was a book first)
however you need to tell him that the majority of people who work still have 8 hours in the day to devote to other things, and 8 more for sleeping.
2007-06-06 17:43:01 · answer #9 · answered by CF_ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kick him out, it is called tough love! At 26 it is time for him to realize that their is something called the real world in which people have to pay their way in life. If you don't want to be quite so harsh, start charging him for rent, food, and utilities. He is old enough to take responsibility for his own life.
2007-06-06 15:40:37 · answer #10 · answered by PinUpGal 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋