I am a Hooters girl..and my boyfriend doesn't like it..is he overreacting?!?

Question

I started working at Hooters to help pay off my student loans. My boyfriend doesn't like it at all because he thinks it degrades woman and exposes them. The guys there look at me and make sexual comments toward me and my boyfriend absolutely is appalled by it. I tried to explain to him that I need the money for the loans but he thinks I should find a different job. What should I do?!?

Answer 1

There are a few different ways to look at it. First off, how much do you like this BF? I mean are you a few months into your relationship or close to marriage or???

I personally do not see it as degrading to women. I mean, it "celebrates" their beauty in that the more attractive the woman is the more tips they get usually in addition to their service. Plus, they are not FORCED to work there... it's not they are drafted into the orange shorts against their will. lol

There are a few things he should be grateful for. One is that he has a girl who is attractive enough to even be a Hooters girl. Another is that you have the determination to do whatever it takes to pay off your debts legally. Lastly, that you actually care enough to get the opinion of others to figure out how to deal with his issues with this.

I am sure the comments get old and are something that just goes with the territory and I do admit I would not like them either, but again that is the kind of environment there. If they make YOU uncomfortable maybe you should look for something elsewhere. If you do, you should do so because YOU want to, not to please him.

Besides the comments, the looking is just something he's going to have to deal with. When I'm with my girl I tell her who checks her out, male or female, haha. I'll say, "Man, that dude nearly broke his neck trying to take a peek!" or "I bet that girl wishes she had a rear like you, she was totally checking yours out" or whatever. It makes me feel good that she is so attractive and she is with me. Is that the problem? If some guy says he wants to do this or that to you that it will make you want to do those things with him?

You can also tell him that if he wants you to quit so bad for him to get another job and have HIM pay it off for you, haha.

Also, it kind of sounds like "john g" could be this boyfriend and that is a terrible idea. Purposefully try to look "ugly" to make a man happy? Besides, the opinion of being unattractive varies from person to person. Like for me I fall in love with my fiancée when I wake up and see her next to me in the morning when she does not even want me to look at her. haha

Good luck!

Answer 2

Well, the most important thing here is what YOU feel about it. I mean, you guys aren't married yet, and you haven't mentioned that you all have plans to, so why quit your job for a man you may not even have a future with?

There is nothing wrong about working at Hooters...yes, the outfits are revealing, but if the money is good and it's going to help pay off your education, then I say go for it. Your boyfriend is overreacting because men always get territorial about this sort of thing. No guy wants a bunch of men ogling his woman. However, with that said, until he's ready to pay for your loans himself (or come up with another effective option for you), I say do what you need to in order to make your life better.

Answer 3

I honestly think thats the main reason men do like to go eat there. B/C I've eaten there and didn't like the food but yeah I mean u practically have nothing on so of course men r going to make comments at u but thats even if ur fully dressed. Guys differ but yes it would piss him off could u blame him. I mean imagine if he was a chip-n-dale(male stripper) and girls were always going head over heels for him and making sexual comments how would u feel? Yet all the while ur telling him that there r plenty of jobs out there that can help u pay off ur student loans wouldn't it make u mad if he stayed there? It's almost as if u stay b/c u love the attention. I'm not saying u do but thats what he maybe thinking. Point being if u really love him get a different job is ur bf worth losing over a job u could lose at any time. Think about it and put urself in his shoes. Just look for another job, they come plenty but a good guy is hard to find.

Answer 4

Hooters does degrade women and exploit them and you should find another job but until you do your boyfriend should understand and deal with it. Besides, tell him that all these other men fantasize about you but he gets to have the real deal all he wants. Tell him to have more faith in you, stop being insecure and make up for all the other guys who degrade her by worshipping you. Really, shouldn't it be kind of a turn on that you are a hooters girl. Some night jump him in your uniform for Hooters. The real propblem I think is that he is worried that one of the guys at work will win you over and he will lose you. That is something else you need to deal with.

Answer 5

Sorry he is right. A woman who is "marriage material" does not work at Hooters. I know you need money. I paid my way through college too, but this isn't the way to do it. Get another waitressing job. If you get a nice place the money won't be that different. Then if you gotta ask daddy or the b/f to help with the bills. I know if given a choice they had much rather fork over some extra cash then to see their precious daughter/ girl friend subjecting herself to that. This is not something your bf wants to tell his kids that mommy did when she was younger. Have some self respect. Oh and good couples make decisions together. Assuming you got the bf before the job you should have talked this over with him first.

Answer 6

I think your boyfriend is right. Hooters is a very degrading idea for a workplace.

Why not just work as a waitress in a normal place? You will still make good money. Don't sell yourself for extra money. That might make you like a stripper or a ...

Answer 7

i guess I'd say that if you're doing your job and not taking the comments to heart or acting like you are interested,maintaining a professional demeanor if you can say that at a hooters.lol,then work there and let him see that you are there to work and not pick up guys.If it bothers him that much,then maybe he needs to get some selfconfidence and realize you do need to make a living,whether it be a hooters girl or whatever.I'm only jealous of the girls because they're young and pretty-but I know he comes home to me!

Answer 8

i personally think that he is acting immature and should get over it but then I am not a jealous person myself. I would trust you till i found reason not to trust you and if you are having this problem now you must know that it will only get worse in the future what if you were the only woman in a large corporation and had to travel with the males on conferences ect that he could not attend what about the reaction then you must put your foot down and tell him that he should trust you if he loves you as he must have said he did

Answer 9

Personally, I think you should find a different job, because I agree with your boyfriend that your current one is degrading, and serves only to perpetuate the unfortunate perception that women are nothing more than sex objects. But then again, it's not up to your boyfriends, it's up to you.

Answer 10

I think that you should try to tell your boyfriend that you cannot afford to quit your job that you really need to pay for your student loans. I think it's nice that you have a boyfriend that is looking out for you. I wish you luck but I think you should tell him that you really need this job and that you cannot quit and that you appreciate that he's concern and looking out for you.