My Fi's nephew is going to be in our wedding. He is 4. Our ceremony is in the late afternoon and our reception is in the evening.
I know his nephew probably will not make it through the reception. The problem is, I don't want my BIL and SIL to have to leave early. Especially since my BIL will be best man.
Normally, they do not take the little boy to weddings, even if he's invited. They tend to leave him with a family member. But, b/c it's his uncle getting married and he's in the wedding, I'm postitive they are bring him to the reception.
I was thinking about addressing the issue of them leaving early. I was thinking about suggesting that the boy's other grandmother pick him up from the reception if he gets tired.
I just don't know how to approach his. I don't want them to think I don't want my new nephew there, b/c I do. But, I understand kids get tired. Yet, I dont' want to be rude or imposing of their other family members by suggesting they pick
2007-06-06 12:31:55 · 8 answers · asked by Answer Girl 2007 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
him up.
How do I go about this? I really want my new BIL and SIL present at my whole wedding.
2007-06-06 12:32:38 · update #1
Also, he is one of only 2 children invited. Neither set of parents like the children to be watched by strangers or younger teenagers. They both leave the kids with only family members. The two children are also not related and are different ages and genders.
Having a sitter at the wedding isn't a good option in this case. Everyone else at the wedding is 18+
2007-06-06 12:35:09 · update #2
The only polite thing to say is "I wish you could stay for the whole time. I know Brian (kid) will get tired and have to go to bed, but I just wish there was some way you guys didn't have to leave early".
Then if they want, they can ask grandparents to take him when they leave. They might decide to play it by ear. After all, by that time the parents might be just as ready for sleep as the kid. Either way, it is really impolite to suggest how parents raise their kids.
Your only option is to suggest that you would love if they could stay the whole time, if only there was another way. Then they can decide for themselves.
2007-06-06 14:13:54 · answer #1 · answered by phantom_of_valkyrie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe there is an Aunt or some other family member that will not be staying for the reception. Maybe they could care for the younger child. I think that if you and Fi talk to them and explain how much it would mean to you both that they are there I would say that they would be willing to compromise. Just a thought when I got married the Hall that we rented for out reception had an area that we used to put in a tv and game system for an kids that were there. We also provided snacks and sleeping bags if they were to get tired. Just a suggestion not sure that is possible in your situation but thought I would mention it.. Good luck with this and your marriage!
2007-06-06 12:44:32 · answer #2 · answered by Jules 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If it were me, I'd bring up casually the next time you see them: "Hey Sue, I was thinking about my upcoming wedding reception and I was wondering...do you think Billy will be able to stay awake for the whole thing? I REALLY want you guys to be able to stay for the entire reception and enjoy yourselves, but I'm afraid Billy might get tired, and you guys would have to leave early. That's no fun! What do you think we should do?" Hopefully your SIL or BIL will suggest grandma (or a sitter) picking him up, or even leaving him home altogether, and not letting him attend the reception.
2007-06-06 14:05:59 · answer #3 · answered by brevejunkie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where is the reception being held? Maybe there is a small room that is adjacent to the room the reception is being held in where you could set up play area for him and the other child. That will give them the freedom to come and go. You could set up a portable DVD player and have toys and coloring books and things like that for them. Maybe you could block off a corner of the room for them to play in. Then the parents could keep an eye on him and at the same time enjoy the festivities.
Maybe sit down with them and express your concerns. Tell them that you would like him to be present at the reception or at least part of it, but that you know that it is hard for children to last throughout an entire reception, so how can you help them to make it easier on him. Maybe they can come up with some ideas. I think presenting it to them that way will show that you are concerned with the welfare of their child and that you are not being snotty.
2007-06-06 12:46:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to them about your feelings, and that you don't want them to leave early as it's a once off event....and suggest that perhaps the grand parent can come pick up the kid....but talk to them....
2007-06-06 15:01:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would talk with the future in-laws and express your wishes; however, they are the ones who have to make the decision about their son, and whatever it is, I believe that you should repect their decision. They're trying to be there for you, and that's good, but their son needs them too; let them decide for themselves how they want to do things.
2007-06-06 16:58:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your future BIL and SIL are not bright enough to come up with a solution to their son's care after a certain hour, it's not up to you to do it for them. It would be rude and presumptuous to suggest to them how they deal with their son.
2007-06-06 12:39:30 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
You can solve this problem by leaving as quickly as possible yourselves. Traditionally, that's what the bride and groom are supposed to do.
2007-06-06 12:40:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋