make me laugh?

Question

who can make me laugh the hardest i will choose you as my best answer

Answer 1

On a recent weekend in Atlantic City, a woman won a bucketful of
quarters at a slot machine. She took a break from the slots for
dinner
with her husband in the hotel dining room. But first she wanted to
stash the quarters in her room. "I'll be right back and we'll go to
eat," she told her husband and carried the coin-laden bucket to the
elevator.

As she was about to walk into the elevator she noticed two men
already
aboard. Both were black. One of them was tall....very tall...an
intimidating figure. The woman froze.

Her first thought was: These two are going to rob me. Her next
thought
was: Don't be a bigot, they look like perfectly nice gentlemen. But
racial stereotypes are powerful, and fear immobilized her. She
stood
and stared at the two men. She felt anxious, flustered and ashamed.
She
hoped they didn't read her mind but Gosh, they had to know what she
was
thinking!!!

Her hesitation about joining them in the elevator was all too
obvious
now. Her face was flushed. She couldn't just stand there, so with a
mighty effort of will she picked up one foot and stepped forward
and
followed with the other foot and was on the elevator. Avoiding eye
contact, she turned around stiffly and faced the elevator doors as
they
closed.

A second passed, and then another second, and then another. Her
fear
increased! The elevator didn't move. Panic consumed her. My God,
she
thought, I'm trapped and about to be robbed! Her heart plummeted.
Perspiration poured from every pore.

Then one of the men said, "Hit the floor." Instinct told her to do
what
they told her. The bucket of quarters flew upwards as she threw out
her
arms and collapsed on the elevator floor. A shower of coins rained
down
on her. Take my money and spare me, she prayed.

More seconds passed. She heard one of the men say politely, "Ma'am,
if
you'll just tell us what floor you're goin g to, we'll push the
button."

The one who said it had a little trouble getting the words out. He
was
trying mightily to hold in a belly laugh. The woman lifted her head
and
looked up at the two men. They reached down to help her up.
Confused,
she struggled to her feet.

"When I told my friend here to hit the floor," said the average
sized
one, "I meant that he should hit the elevator button for our floor
I
didn't mean for you to hit the floor, ma'am." He spoke genially. He
bit
his lip. It was obvious he was having a hard time not laughing.

The woman thought: My God, what a spectacle I've made of myself.
She
was humilia ted to speak.. She wanted to blurt out an apology, but
words
failed her.

How do you apologize to two perfectly respectable gentlemen for
behaving as though they were going to rob you? She didn't know what
to
say.

The three of them gathered up the strewn quarters and refilled
her bucket.

When the elevator arrived at her floor they then insisted on
walking
her to her room. She seemed a little unsteady on her feet, and they
were afraid she might not make it down the corridor. At her door
they
bid her a good evening. As she slipped into her room she could hear
them roaring with laughter as they walked back to the elevator. The
woman br ushed herself off. She pulled herself together and went
downstairs for dinner with her husband.

The next morning flowers were delivered to her room - a dozen
roses.
Attached to EACH rose was a crisp one hundred dollar bill. The
card said:
Thanks for the best laugh we've had in years."

It was signed;

Eddie Murphy
Michael Jordan

Answer 2

The Lone Ranger and Tonto are camping in the desert, set up their tent, and are asleep. Some hours later, The Lone Ranger wakes his faithful friend Tonto, and says, “look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

Tonto replies, “Me see millions of stars.”

“What does that tell you?” ask The Lone Ranger.

Tonto ponders for a minute.....
· Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies, and potentially billions of planets.

· Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.

· Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.

· Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all powerful while we are small and insignificant.

· Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What it tell you, Kemo Sabi?

The Lone Ranger is silent for a moment, then speaks:
It means, Tonto, you Dumb @ss, that someone has stolen our tent !!!

Answer 3

A man and his wife were having an argument about who
> > > > >should brew the coffee each morning.
> > > > >The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first,
> > > > >and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee"
> > > > >The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and> > > > >
> > > > >you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my
coffee."
> > > > >Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the
Bible
> > > > >that the man should do the coffee."
> > > > >Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
> > > > >So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament
> > > > >and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says........
> > > > >."HEBREWS"


-ccr

Answer 4

Why? I can easiely answer 5 questions to earn 10 points.

Answer 5

Rudy Guilliani started answering a question on abortion yesterday in the debate, and... lightning struck.

For real.

Answer 6

A guy walks into a bar; you think he woulda seen it

Answer 7

I met this guy who was really really cocky! VERY HOT and Very BIG BIG PRIVATE PART...

But he did not know how to use it!
My ex was smaller and was WAYY better in BED


WHOSE LAUGHING NOW!!!

Answer 8

ugggggggggg BOO
ta da

Answer 9

you smile i smile you join cheer leading i join cheer leading you jump of a cliff i get my camera lol

Answer 10

what does a girl from texas say after sex ??? get off me dad your crushing my smokes