The man i have been seeing for a while lives about an hour from where i live. So on the weekends i drive up and spend a day or two. But now every time i have to leave he gets an attitude, and this weekend i told him i was gonna stay home and get my house together, and we got into it bigtime! How can i make him understand that I cant spend everyday off i have with him, because its to far away.
He says things like "Well, i thought you enjoyed being here with me, but i guess i was wrong". Why cant it just be OKAY for me to be at my house once in a while!
2007-06-06 11:04:48 · 33 answers · asked by Me, myself, & I 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He misses spending time with you, that's the huge factor of long distance relationship. Every moment that you're together is just precious and needed to be cherished and just the thought of your being away AGAIN for the whole 5 busy days, that just kills him of missing you so much.
2007-06-06 11:07:22 · answer #1 · answered by C A M S ™ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your putting all the effort into this relationship. Why can't he drive up and stay with you at your house every once in awhile? I was in a similar relationship where the two of us lived about an hour apart from each other and I would be the one that always had to go to her house and finally I got fed up with it. Either he needs to be more flexible or you need to get with another guy that will treat you right.
2007-06-06 11:29:36 · answer #2 · answered by tibosskid2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he has a problem. It could be his self confidence. He sounds like he doesn't trust you. If he is getting actually angry about it, it is not a good sign. It sounds like he is trying to be controlling and you should think about why you are really seeing him. It is important to have time to yourself. Why do you drive to his house all the time? Why couldn't he drive to your house all the time?
Sit down and talk with him and tell him what you like about him and what attracted you to him in the first place. Tell him how important it is to you about also having time to yourself. Tell him it makes you feel like he doesn't trust you, or how you feel about it.
He should have more respect than that for you. My boyfriend is understanding and if I can't get with him on certain days, I am disappointed, but I know that he has other things he has to get done. His work hours are different than mine and he doesn't go into work until 3. He works Wednesday - Saturday. I don't get home until 4:30 or so. I see him after work on the days we have off together and sometimes I see him on Saturday before he goes to work.
Watch out for signs of anger and jealousy. You don't deserve it.
2007-06-06 11:14:00 · answer #3 · answered by Stephanie F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him the road goes both ways why cant he come to your house why do you always have to go to his? ask him that.
tell him that is far to drive all the time and if you have things to do then he needs to understand that. Tell him part of being in a relationship is understanding and compermising some. Tell him on the days you can not make it to his house he can come to yours. On the days you want to be alone just be honest with him tell him that you need your alone time so the relationship can grow a bit.
you dont have to tell him all i wrote thats up too but i would tell him the roads go both ways and if on the days you can not make it he can come to your house.
Or if you dont like dealing with the BS all the time just let him go and find a more mature guy.
2007-06-06 11:10:21 · answer #4 · answered by knowssignlanguage 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is okay that you want time to yourself. People that work all week sometimes need their weekends to take care of personal things. It is NOT okay that he tried to make you feel guilty for it.
It is NOT okay that he doesn't travel to your home every once in a while...unless you have chosen not to have him there, which could account for some of his insecurity.
I think you are coming to find that you aren't compatible. He needs to date someone who lives closer who can give him the time and attentionhe wants.
2007-06-06 11:10:18 · answer #5 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't change him. Just remember that. You can only comprimise. So you can either leave if you don't feel like the relationship is worth the drama or try to work it out. I would probably suggest that he hangs out with his friends in subtle way like "what's (suchandsuch) been up to? Call and see what he's doing this weekend." Or you could tell him straightforward that if he continues to be this way, you'll feel smothered and that could only hurt your relationship. I know that he won't like that.
2007-06-06 11:11:56 · answer #6 · answered by Springs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He seem a little selfish. Why doesnt he like to come to your house? Tell him that with the price of gas, that he has to do 50% of the traveling, because its unfair to put all the relationship legwork on you!! Also he is in love with you. He is hurt (unrational I know) that you have to leave. Just tell him that this is lief, if he wants it to be different, then he can come see you more, or he can move closer. Or visa versa.
2007-06-06 11:08:52 · answer #7 · answered by melissaw77 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him. He is to possessive and is giving you mental abuse. You don't need that and the more you see him the more possessive he will become.
Why do you have to go to his place all the time? He should spend the time and gas money to see you at least half of the time. He is just being a selfish jerk.
2007-06-06 11:13:07 · answer #8 · answered by Aliz 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, this just shows he really really really really REALLY likes you. He's probably thinking about asking you to move in with him. Well, he was. Now he might think you're avoiding him. Don't ask me why. Guys are sometimes weird that way. You should talk to him, and maybe ask him to come down to you're house once in a while.
2007-06-06 11:08:44 · answer #9 · answered by Creepy Kourtney 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him, if you like to be with me then maybe you should get a house closer to me, instead of you having me pay $50 in gas getting to your house every weekend.
and if he says no for some reason then say,
oh i thought you liked being with me, i guess not.
that's want i would do, of course that would Inoy me so much i would just break up with him. but you dont have to, that's just me.
2007-06-06 11:12:38 · answer #10 · answered by duckie52290 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋