My mother is a wonderful, hardworking person. In the last 5 years she has had it really, really rough. Well, things are starting to look-up for her. The thing is, her house is a wreck. It needs to be cleaned really bad, but she is working 10 to 11 hour days. I have some free time right now and would like to help make it into a nice home for her and my sisters. How should I go about telling her this without hurting her feelings?
2007-06-06 10:10:27 · 10 answers · asked by Bunny 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
The thing is, it will take more than one day, so I can't really surprise her with it.
2007-06-06 10:19:22 · update #1
I would start by telling her how wonderful you think she is and that you want to do something nice for her. You know she is busy and had a hard time, and you'd love to help by cleaning up for her. You won't take no for an answer, and then go from there. I'm sure she won't object! Praise to you for being such an upstanding daughter! :)
2007-06-06 10:30:32 · answer #1 · answered by jennifer k 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait, wait, wait! I love the impulse, but if the cleaning will involve removing piles of "stuff" she hasn't done anything with, you might be surprised when your mom is less than thrilled that someone else has discarded things.
A friend at work had his cube cleaned and organized by two loving, caring friends. I'm not sure if I've ever seen anyone more angry in my life! Those of us who leave piles and messes in our wake tend to see them as an extension of our brain. Something I gotta do, can't remember, but I feel a little better because it might be in the pile.
Cleaning the kitchen floor is great, but cleaning the scary "to do" pile off the kitchen counter is a whole other topic.
So, by all means identify a day worth of "just cleaning" to surprise her. Clean the windows, the front porch and door, the kitchen floor, scrub the kitchen sink. Get each and every toilet sparkly clean.
Work with your sisters, and get your own areas neater and cleaner. Then you can let your mom know that you could also help her do other spaces. If she still isn't open to tackle the biggest eyesore, try to find something she will let you tackle.
And if Mom expresses a desire for a cleaner house, but doesn't know where to start, I recommend The Fly Lady. Her web site is a great resource, even if you don't sign up for everything. Her discussion about cleaning the kitchen sink alone set me on a path from high chaos to mild disarray; a huge improvement, I swear!
2007-06-06 10:35:24 · answer #2 · answered by Shel de Muse 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't turn it into such a bad thing, like instead of telling her "your house is a wreck! Let me clean up this dump."
Tell her you have some free time and would like to help her out by cleaning up the house for her.She'll be happy you offered and will feel much better when she sees her house clean.
2007-06-06 10:39:20 · answer #3 · answered by m○○♥m○○ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's very admirable how you want to help so much. it really is. maybe... as soon as she's away from the house, have a team waiting. all the family and friends that care for her would have no arguments about helping. understandable that she may not want others knowing her house is wrecked, but even just someone to bring garbage out while you and your sisters are organizing. someone else on dishes, vacuuming or dusting duty
2007-06-06 10:29:09 · answer #4 · answered by shana_chicken_noodles 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just do it!!!
Sit down with your mom and let her know exactly what you said in your question...Hey Mom, I have some free time right now and I'd like to straighten up around her to help you out....is there anything that you odn't want me to throw out??? Or, please put your personal things aside so I don't accidentally throw them away....Or, Mom, I saw some mice running around the house and I thinnk that they may be here due to the clutter...THAT ONE will surely get her attention and she will let you clean!
Good Luck
2007-06-06 10:16:15 · answer #5 · answered by fourcolor4u2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a wonderful daughter you are!!!
Just do it. I don't think it would offend her and if it does, I'm sure she will get over it.
She'll be too busy beaming over what a great daughter she raised.
For all the mothers who wish their daughters would clean, we thank you.
Keep up the Good Work
2007-06-06 10:21:34 · answer #6 · answered by littlecraps 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think she would love to come home to a sparkling clean house after working so hard
what a great daughter you are
feel free to come to my house
2007-06-06 10:17:13 · answer #7 · answered by ann s 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just suprise her! I don't see any reason why she would feel hurt that you are helping. Let her know you recognize and appreciate all she does for you and that you want to help her, and give back. you could even have your sisters help.
teamwork. :) way to go!
2007-06-06 10:15:29 · answer #8 · answered by 1912 Hudson 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just do it!!
What hurt feelings if I came home and my kids cleaned my home I'd be thrilled!!
2007-06-06 10:20:22 · answer #9 · answered by theladygeorge 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just go and do it and tell her that you know she is knacked with work and this is your way of helping her out
2007-06-06 10:16:53 · answer #10 · answered by disco 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋