Christians: Isn't the death of a loved one a good time to talk about the after-life?

Question

When I announced the death of my son nearly every christian came out to lecture me about Jesus.

Not one asked whether I was Christian.

Not one asked about my beliefs.

It seems they all thought this a good time to 'educate' me about Christianity.

But when I respond to these ham-fisted attempts to convert me, I'm told I'm too distraught and too upset to be speaking poorly of Christianity and those who tried to convert me.

So I'm upset enough for you to think this a good time to convert me, but too upset if I refuse to be converted?

Why must you insult those who are firm in their own beliefs and refuse to be converted by you?

Why must you insult those whose beliefs you trample during their time of grief?

Why do you seek to take advantage of grief to convert another, like vultures pecking at a wounded lion, yet run away when you discover the lion is not so wounded as to permit you to continue?

Why worship a god who drowned babies and butterflies (Genesis 6, 7)?

Answer 1

I am going to answer your as honestly as I can here orion

to some , you are just words on a screen .... they dont see the person or the hurt
so they think ahhh easy catch here, conversion time
this place can be so impersonal and cold

but to others , those who know you and what has happened
you are more than words on a screen
those who care about you and know you , can feel some of your pain
and we wouldnt care if you believed in God or not , or which God for that matter

try and take comfort from those who know you
and dont let your grief become hate
always be the wonderful , amazing person you son knew sweetheart xxxx

Answer 2

I guess if it were me I'd be mourning for my son instead of wasting time throwing out bitter retorts to Christians who you don't know personally and who you tar with the same brush as every poor excuse of a human being that has done something wrong and then just assume it was in the name of Christianity or because of Christianity.

You need to let this bone go or it will destroy your life, you can already tell by the myriads of questions you post in R&S what your stance is on religion. You're wasting time and emotion that really could be better spent elsewhere, especially now.

Answer 3

I have never tried to convert you. I fully subscribe to the notion of to "each his own." We live our lives, to some extent, as prisoners inside our own heads, and I can't tell anyone else how they need to live in there. I can only relate my own experience.

I do, however, wish you well as you endure this grief, and I hope that you are able to get through the days ahead. Your post about the empty house was heartbreaking and poignant, and I wish there were something we could somehow do. But there isn't, is there?

Answer 4

As a Christian I think our actions should reflect our love for you and your son by being supportative in your time of grief.
I recently lost a friend from work. At the funeral home his wife and I hugged and exchanged a few words of comfort for each other. When we are with those in grief, love should be the tie that binds those feelings we have.

Answer 5

Dear Orion
All I can say is I'm sorry.
There are no words to express the grief you must feel. Please please don't latch on to any of this negative drivel. Some people mean well, but words on a computer screen can never ever convey the sorrow and support most feel in your time of need. Unfortunately they can also be seen as insensitive.

Please take care of yourself... you are still in our thoughts and prayers.

blessings :)

Answer 6

I'm very sorry for your loss Orion. What a terrible thing to lose a child. May you find comfort and peace. By your post, I can see that you aren't a Christian. Can I ask what your belief is?

Answer 7

The death of a loved one is a good time to reflect on love shared and a life well spent. I am sorry for your loss. I send my love to you, and I hope your grief abates.

Answer 8

I'm going to be very direct here, no offense intended. The death of a loved one is not always a good time to talk about the afterlife. If the death is a child's it is easier, simply because Christians believe all children go to heaven, and they hope parent's of those children will somehow be swayed because of their desire to see their children again someday.
However, in the case of an adult loved one's death, if that loved one was not saved, according to God's word, they do not go to heaven. So trying to talk to those family members is harder, because they would be admitting their loved one MAY not have gone to heaven, and the thought is too terrible to think of. To believe God's word would mean they had to acknowledge the possibility of a loved one being in hell. Who wants to believe that? But the fact is, there are people in hell, and those people had family and friends on earth who deeply loved them. But trying to talk to them about salvation at that time would not be wise, in my opinion.
Orion, these are my beliefs, and I am not trying to force them on you or anyone else. I can't tell you how very sorry I am for your loss. Your son is beautiful. I cannot even imagine your grief. Peace to you.

Answer 9

Orion, my heart goes out to you. I cannot imagine the pain. I apologize for all who have hurt you in your grief.

Answer 10

calm down. let the fruit show it. you don't seem like a Christian, so people naturally will assume you're not.

people tend to get angry when you blame their God

hey, I said I hope you get comforted last time. I think you should really vent it elsewhere for this reason: not everyone is sympathetic.