Everywhere we go she is always asking people for things. Whether it be money for snacks, some of their snacks, or a toy that they have. I have tried to drill it into her that it is rude and unacceptable. Some of the people dont help because they tell her how cute she is and of course she can have some. Everytime my son has a baseball game we go through the rules of not asking. If someone offers it is one thing, but it is rude to constantly ask, especialy for money when they are giving their own children some. Has anyone been through this and how to I get over being so embarrased? How do I get her to stop?
2007-06-06 10:07:41 · 13 answers · asked by hopefloats16 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Thank you all. I have spanked her when we get home. made her stay in her room, made her sit by me at the game(which she hates), scolded her, explained the "rules" before we left the house, all to no avail so far. Even tonight I made her understand that the goldfish that we brought would be it at the game, yet when she got there she had gum from a friend. I am not sure if she asked or if it was offered. I am also trying to get her to understand the difference of offering and asking. The other parents all say its so cute, but some of them will tell her no which I am grateful for. My son did this once in a store when he was 6. I seriously let him kick and scream on the floor and ignored him. I got looks and my mom even got into an argument with a lady about it, but he never did it again. Its like if you scold your child in front of people you are too harsh, yet if you let them get away with things you are a push over parent. Where is the medium?
2007-06-06 13:36:06 · update #1
When my kids were young I had friend with children the same age. Everywhere we went, they would immediately start asking for stuff...food, candy, toys, money, whatever. They knew that in public their mom wouldn't say no, because if she did they threw fits. My kids were told up front that they could or could not have something. If they could, they picked one thing when we walked in. If they could not, because I didn't have the money or whatever, they could not even ask, they already knew the answer. If they did ask, we left immediately. Yes, it was inconvenient for me, but they learned very quickly that I wouldn't give in once I had said no, and that I would also leave where we were and go home. They missed very few ball games and shopping trips, because I only had to take them home once. They got the message. In your daughter's case, try telling her before hand that she is allowed to have something (soda, popcorn, whatever) and that is all. If she begs for something else, leave. If she asks someone else for money or to buy something for her, have her return it, apologize for asking, and then leave. You may only go sit in the car, but she misses the event, and doesn't get whatever she was after in the first place. Explain to your son that you may have to miss him play, or take her to a different event that you don't mind leaving. Good luck. She will probably outgrow this eventually, most kids do.
2007-06-06 10:38:48 · answer #1 · answered by h2bfarms 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop the behavior. If she begs, give her a warning, if she does it again send her to the car. Going through the list doesn't do any good if there are no consequences for her actions. Also prevent her from doing it in public, if she asks someone for some snack, don't give them the chance to answer. Simply say, "She's not allowed to share any snacks for (insert reason, we're trying to eat healther, she hasn't washed her hands)" If she asks for money simply correct her in front of others. Kids hate being scolded in public, "It's not polite to ask for money, Sarah." Or refuse the money, and if she does it whne your not there. Make her return the money or give it to charity, and then deduct it from her allowance if she gets any. Then discpline her in the car ride or when she gets home, 6 is old enough to understand consquences and what they are and aren't supposed to do.
Part of being a parent is embarrasing, but its all to raise kids to be the best people they can be. And everyone understands that your teaching your child.
2007-06-06 10:21:22 · answer #2 · answered by texas hearts 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this is the only behavioural problem you have with her I wouldn't worry too much but I agree it is embarrassing.
At 6 she is old enough to reason with though! Tell her again not just that it is rude but it is unacceptable to you. Therefore if she does not stop doing it there will be a "punishment". For example ..tell her if she does it again you will take away one of her favorite toys for one week!
Don't just threaten..if it happens again you have to follow through with the punishment. She will soon learn to stop this behaviour.. (hopefully)!!!
The problem really as you point out is that sometimes it works for her and people give her what she wants - which is positive reinforcement. You have to provide the negative reinforcement.
2007-06-06 10:19:34 · answer #3 · answered by me2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would impose consequences but try to get creative.
Maybe anything she receives through begging has to be "paid for" by doing chores around your house (assign a wage to grout scrubbing, window washing, dog poop scooping etc.). Or possibly for every item she gets, whether a cookie or a penny, she has to give up one of her favorite toys.
Definitely if you catch her in time, make her give it back to the person and apologize for being rude.
2007-06-06 11:19:29 · answer #4 · answered by ladybmw1218 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in 7th grade and i sometimes beg, but for little things, like i need a five for school. But when i was 5 i begged and begged for things. My mom said that if i NEEDED it that much i had to do something in return or she would turn it back on me. She would say "Oh little one! Can i borrow this? Please please please please!" and i would find it annoying and i stopped when i was 7. And i wouldnt spank or anything CLOSE to it. My uncle did that with his kids and they are (sorry cousins!) brats, jerks, and spoiled and i know they will do the same with their kids. And if that doesnt work ignore her when she asks and have others do the same and if you think your being to harsh, DONT back down. Her mind is still learning, she will need disipline (did i spell that right? ;D) but not to much. It might take time for her to realise, like me, but she will get it eventually.
2007-06-06 10:30:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As soon as she asks, explain to the people she is asking that you are trying to break her from the habit of begging for things so please help you out by not giving it to her. Also, be consistent with her. If she asks for something and you say no, do NOT change your mind. It reinforces that begging gets her what she wants by begging.
2007-06-06 10:17:17 · answer #6 · answered by Someone who cares 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
RE: Six year old lying.. is spanking an acceptable punishment? Today my six year old daughter broke a rule, and my husband and I confronted her about it.. Right from the get go, she was asked to tell us the truth. She was even told the punishment would not be as bad if she would just tell the truth, but if she lied she was going to get a spanking. So the only...
2016-05-18 04:50:10 · answer #7 · answered by kathaleen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simply give her a stern warning. If she still does it, tell her she can sit in her room until she's ready to stop begging. It works.
2007-06-06 10:12:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, for my corgi I spray her in the face with a water bottle. I imagine it would work for a child.
2007-06-06 10:12:28 · answer #9 · answered by Brian 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I never heard of anything like that. She picked it up somewhere, I would suggest checking with her friends, and see if one of them may be doing it.
2007-06-06 10:19:19 · answer #10 · answered by Dragon'sFire 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋