Why should I pray for someone that has really wronged me?

Question

I have a girl that slept with my boyfriend, of 2 years, that I live with. He has broken it off with her and we have decided to stay together. She knew about me and knew that there were children in the relationship that think of him as a father. She didn’t care and tried everything she could to get him to stay with her. I really dislike this girl just because of the type of sleazy person she is, I’m told I should pray that good things happen to her, I would rather pray she fall off a cliff. I don’t understand the logic behind praying for her? I don’t want to pray for her much less even think about her. How is this going to even benefit me at all, when just thinking about her makes me so angry?

Phuck Yahoo - and who said what I believe? Im asking why people are saying this would help me....hmmm go figure.

And to all the rest that think that I should leave him, it’s a bigger problem than just me walking out the door, there are a lot of other issues involved. I didn’t ask for advice on my relationship but on what people have been saying about prayer. It is easier to forgive someone you love than someone that means nothing to you. AND further more I would have no problem with her IF when she found out about me took the higher road! But no she pursued him and bad mouthed me and begged him to be with her and told him that my kid’s didn’t matter and were nothing. So tramp status aside she also attacked my kids. He told her to walk that he made a mistake. We decide to work it out, for good or for bad, now I’m trying to heal and asking a very simple question.

Answer 1

If you could....wouldn't you like to be "free" from the anger, betrayal, and all the other feelings you think of and feel whenever you even see a HINT of something that reminds you of her?

When we pray about a situation like that, we ask God to help us forgive the person, then, give the whole load to Him...ALL of it, including the fact that you aren't just mad at her and feel those things, but, actually feel the same about the boyfriend, but, it's easier to dump it all on her than to admit anything about the boyfriend as well....so, have an honest talk to God, in private or with a believing friend, lay it all out, then, tell God what you have been told to do by folks, about the prayer and all, then tell Him, "ok....I'm willing to try and believe what they say....take it Lord, and forgive ME for holding onto it, and bless her as well....In Jesus name, amen....then, thank Him for doing so even though you don't feel any diff. All that day, if she pops up in your head, just say Thankyou Jesus for taking that away....

You may or may not notice it right away, but, the day will come, that you hear her name, or see her, and realize "hey!....I'm no longer BOUND by my anger or anything else!" (and thank Jesus when you do! :) )

God be with you....oh yeah...when we do not forgive, we are "bound" up...lol....and, yeah, an analogy that would be fitting here is like constipation....as long as you are holding onto something like unforgiveness, hate, even sadness and resentment, we are BOUND UP by them, and our lives are affected in many many ways! So, go to the Master Physician (God) and get well! Good luck! :)

Answer 2

Praying for someone helps you more than the person that wronged you. As Christians we are called to forgive. In that act of forgiveness we find redemption for all the wrongs that we have committed.

I am glad you decided to stay with your man as you have children. But, you are hardly leading a moral life that will benefit those children. I know this seems like an attack, but I am just saying it is hard to understand a Christian principle when you have issues in your life that need to be resolved.

If you can find it in your heart to forgive the man that knows you and professes love to you why not the stranger that neither knows you or cares about you? Finish the act you started and let go of the hatred and find the peace I speak of and you will grow to understand.

Answer 3

First of all you couldn't obey that commandment at this point in your life because you are not expected to. Until you get right with God yourself and see His wonderful forgiveness working in your own life you will not ever forgive anyone from the heart.

How do I know you aren't right with God. You gave me some strong clues. 1. You have a boyfriend who you lived with and are not married to. 2. You used the word sleazy in referring to the girl who used your boyfriend. A Christian never uses that kind of word to describe anyone because it is unloving.
3. You said you would rather pray that she fall of a cliff - the Lord demands forgiveness from Christians without exception
and that certainly is unforgiving. 4. You are more concerned about how it will benefit you than what it will do to the girl or your boyfriend. This is selfishness and also goes against God's express will for Christians to care more about others than themselves. 5. Your anger is a human reaction to hurt, and God tells us to "be angry and sin not." To hate the sin that has caused you pain is different than hating the person who did the sin.

Finally, the first prayer that God ever hears from a person is the prayer of a broken and contrite spirit sorry for sin and seeking forgiveness that come through Jesus Christ alone.
After that prayer is something you will want to do for everyone
including the people who hurt you.

Answer 4

The first thing you did wrong was to ask how praying for her benefits you. Selfishness does nothing good for anyone.

In fact it really doesn’t matter what you pray for you are not going to find happiness in life when you care how anything benefits you alone.

God is love and love is supposed to be unconditional. By building hatred within yourself you will only create more problems. The damage to you has already been dealt, by praying for her, and being sincere you can give up these feelings. It’s not about you. It’s not about what you get from it. It’s about what selfless acts can you do to take the higher road and be the better person.

If you don’t want to pray for her then don’t, but never ask of God anything that is selfish.

With love, blessed be yours.

Answer 5

Matthew 6:14-15 says

"If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, you Father will not forgive your sins."

So it does benefit you to forgive her because in turn you'll be forgiven. Its basically a case of what comes around goes around. On judgement day she'll get any punishment she may deserve. Its your job to just forgive and pray that maybe she'll be saved and become a better person because thats what God wants us to do. you don't necessarily have to pray for her to become rich or anything like that.Just pray for something good to come out of the situation. And mainly just forgive her.

I hope I helped in some way.

Answer 6

1) If you can't forgive her the wrong she's done you, why should you be forgiven the wrong you've done against other people?
2) Isn't it possible that she could change for the better so that she doesn't hurt others?
3) As long as you're angry at her, she's probably getting what she wanted (at least in part). It's called "pushing someone's buttons".
4) If and when you've known the love of Jesus, it's a love you want to share with everyone.

Answer 7

Well If you can forgive your boyfriend for wronging you, I don't think it is a bad idea to try some how to forgive this girl. I'm sure he was at fault just as she was also. I understand just how difficult it is to forgive and pray for someone who has hurt you so deeply and I know what it is to hate their guts! Trust me I do! But the benefits of forgiving someone who has hurt you is not so much for them. In fact, it is more for yourself! You see when we hold on to our anger it becomes a heavy burden to bare. Forgiveness set's us free and purifies our hearts. Allowing God's blessings to come in. Living in unforgiveness keeps us angry and bitter. Which gives the person who hurt us control over our lives. Also, it can be heavy on your heart. Never allowing you to have peace. Rather surrender all your hurts and your pains to the Lord! For He knows exactly how you feel! Keep your Heart and Hands clean and let God deal with her! Because believe me " We all Reap What We Sow!

Answer 8

You don't have to pray for good things to happen to her, but you might pray that God would give her more wisdom and integrity in conducting her life. I'd also honestly ask Him to give me real clarity about letting this boyfriend back into the lives of my children after he's betrayed you in this way.

Answer 9

Sometimes prayer is about healing your own soul as much as forgiving or healing the other person.

You have been wronged and that's a bitter pill. Forgiveness, and "praying for" a person isn't easy, but it is good. and it does enable you to heal.

Don't mix up forgiveness with being a sucker. This roomie of yours is bad news and you don't have to let her control you. Forgiving her enables you to take control of your mind out of her hands.

Answer 10

Pray the Our Father and think real hard about the part where you say "forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us".

Additionally, when we forgive other people, we let go of the anger that we have for them. That anger pollutes all of our other relationships.