How would you cook an annoying neighbour?

Answer 1

Very slow roast, make him/her suffer for as long as possible, start at the feet and you could slice off a lump and feed it to him/her and get their opinion as to if the seasoning is right. Call in the gang for a barbie and don't forget to tell them to bring their own beer.
After giving a good scrub down with a harsh scrubbing brush, marinade in lemon or lime juice for an hour to bring out the screams better. Its making my mouth water thinking about it, always thought my neighbour looked good enough to eat. I could swallow her whole !..................

Answer 2

The annoying neighbour is best gutted and left to hang for a few days, then once nice and gamey, taken down and marinated in a good imported beer for at least 24 hours.
Cut the neighbour into serving sized portions, and place in a large caserole dish and put to one side. Now prepare your stock.. If you have already eaten an annoying neighbour recently, you should still have some bones, this is great for stock. Otherwise just use cubes. Now dice some challottes, garlic & chop some fresh Basil & Parsley (it has to be fresh). Fry the Challottes until golden, then add the garlic being careful not to burn. Stir in your stock, add the seasoning and quickly bring to the boil. Add this to the caserole dish, cover and bake for 45 minutes. Serve with seasonal vegetables, preferably salvaged from your dead neighbours garden. This should serve 6 - 8 people..

Answer 3

If enough people dislike them, all you have to is string them up at a suitable height, then hand everyone a candle to hold underneath. While chatting and laughing about how much better the world will be after the party.

You might be surprised at how quickly the nasty neighbour starts being nice - maybe before you even get the matches out!

Of course, if it's their pet that's a problem and they refuse to do anything about it, how about sending the neighbour a nice casserole to console them when it goes missing? Bwahaha.

Enjoy!

Answer 4

Oh what a great idea!

Firstly he or she needs basting - I would recommend

1 pint of Wood preservative - cos they must be thick!
A good sprinkling of slug pellets - to kill off the slimey toad!
2 heaped spoons of paraquat - great for ousting rotten rats!

Leave to soak overnight - somewhere nasty and cold - the wood shed would be great as the spiders dropping into the mix can only enhance the flavour! - and a mouse or to would be yummy!

When well marinaded cover the offending neighbour with a seasoning of bird and mice droppings! - liberally oil with cow manure - and while warm and steamy - impale the dear on your barbded wire fence

Get your favourite blow torch and crisp the sucker! for 2 hours! - Long and slow cooking is most important to bring out the delicate and enticing flavour of MEAN AND NASTY NEIGHBOUR!

Answer 5

how would one cook for an annoying neighbour?

A Pie

how would you cook an annoying neighbour?

A Pie

Answer 6

Hmm power boil, fry then roast until charred served with brussels, lumpy mash and soured cream

(well if they werent of any joy to the world alive why should they be cooked)

Answer 7

Bury in the ground for seven days, unbury, then cook on a flaming hot grill.

Answer 8

if they were a larger neighbour,
i'd spray them pink
make them put an apple in their mouth
and twist them over a fire.
if they were a thinner neighbour,
i'd chop them into chunks and have a nice kebab : ]

Answer 9

Oven roasting and BBQ would be too quick, how about a slow simmer in a deep pan...lid on for about 4 hours...yum yum

Answer 10

Veryyyyyy veryyyyyy slowly and with plenty of seasoning to take away the taste of her foul mouth !! Bless her NOT !