Should we go to a funeral or not?

Question

My husband's uncle just passed away, and the funeral is Saturday.

I need a sounding board--I don't know what approach I should take as my husband is at work and wants to discuss this when he gets home in a few hours.

The pros of going:
--Support for family

The cons of going:
--10 hour journey with 2 stop, but with a 2 year old who has a really bad cold and myself being nearly 7 months pregnant, it takes around 14 hours to get there.
--I was just diagnosed with gestational hypertension; I'm running, on average, 190/100.
--We're moving on Thursday of next week and still have half of the house to pack.
--ALSO because we're moving, money is fairly tight. With gas prices the way they are now, it would still cost a pretty penny.

As you can tell, I'm leaning against not going BUT I want some other opinions. I'm hormonal and sometimes when you're hormonal, you tend to overreact and not make the best judgement calls.

What do you think?

Answer 1

There's not a sane person in this world that is going to be upset that you didn't make this trip. They will, however wonder what kindof husband would put his wife through all of that just to attend a funeral. I know it's his uncle, but he's dead, and I'm sure his family will understand.

You're not in any shape to go. Sitting for prolonged periods can cause blood clots in your legs, which can kill you, but I'm sure that you're fine, no need to add any more risks. I think traveling in a car is a bad idea. Get your doctor to write your husband a "note" stating that you are not allowed to travel.

Send some beautiful flowers and card.

YOU AND THE BABY ARE MORE IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW, not to mention a sickly 2 year old.

At first I thought that your husband should go, but you need help!!!! Moving is not an easy task in the best of health. I can't believe that your husband, or any husband would be that insensitive.... let's hope it's your hormones.... and you know what they say, "NEVER argue with a pregnant woman."

Good luck and I am so sorry for the loss of your husband's uncle. You both need each other.

Answer 2

Sorry to hear about your husbands uncles death, I also have lost an uncle recently. I could not travel to the funeral cause it is an eight hour plane ride. Your husband should try and go if his uncle was a man he was close to when alive, or when your husband was younger. It is only right and respectful. You however really should not travel, by the sound of it you really could do without the hassle. Prehaps your husband could take public transport for the trip. That way the risk of accident are less, since he wont have to drive. He can also have a short break with the family before returning to you rested and hopefully a little bit relaxed. Dont worry about unpacking all the boxes from the move. Your husband or the movers can do that for you!

Answer 3

As a mother you need to put your unborn baby and your 2 yr old first. Tell him that you and your son can't go but if he feels the need to go then go. But if he is looking for a way out you and your little boy being sick is more than enough reason.

Now if he doesn't go then he should go when you are settled into your new home or invite the whole family over when you get the new baby settled.

You should definitely not go. I have a little boy who started out a preemie and you should do everything to avoid that and a stressful car trip isn't going to help.

Answer 4

Tell your husband to go and extend your condolences. Telling them that you wanted to make the trip but it was against Doctor's orders. (call your doctor and get his opinion on this) Stay home and don't stress. Call the family the morning or afternoon of the funeral and express your sorrow for not being able to make it.
Have a healthy baby
Peace

Answer 5

the theory that I had for my own (i'm a maximum cancers survivor who has actual planned my own funeral out in improve--luckily those plans do no longer seem to be needed precise now) became to make it a occasion of my existence. the comparable pastor who oversaw my wedding ceremony is a uncommon guy: see you later as understand is shown for the religious, he has no hardship seeing to the purposes of disbelievers. on an identical time as each man or woman in attendance at my wedding ceremony is familiar with i'm an Atheist, I nevertheless needed the pastor to handbook a prayer for something of my relatives--the great majority of which carry a Christian denomination. He did it ok: "The bride and groom have asked a 2nd of prayer for people who could decide to take section..." and the 2nd went on. I spoke with him approximately overseeing my funeral, and having the comparable form of attention. He agreed, and had a number of techniques for making that take place. this style any prayers pronounced for me have been via the call of those offering the prayer. The funeral itself could extra healthful me for who i became, yet enable the survivors to be who they're and cope with issues of their very own way.

Answer 6

How about because of "your condition" and a two yr old on top of it your husband goes for all of you and should anyone ask he can (if feels the need) explain to them the 190/100/; 2yr old, etc. They SHOULD understand.

Answer 7

You need to decide together but I would state my consern for the new baby and decide together. I would use this as my main consern. Then consider what he says, your pregnancy and the health of his children should be a reason his family could understand and he could feel absolved of guilt for not going.

Answer 8

If at all possible ur husband should go to be there for his family. it sounds like he can easily explain to them the reasons you didnt go, so stay home and take care of ur kid and pack. so have him go by himself, there are no do overs, and he will regret it later if he isnt there for himself and his family.

Answer 9

Have your husband go by himself. He can explain to the rest of the family why you couldn't make the trip.

Answer 10

YOU and the BABY dont need to go-- if your "husband" who you didnt mention wants to go, he can but you dont need to and neither does the 2 year old