Irresponsible Teenager My sister,17, is taking no responsibility for her life.?

Question

Some examples are:
1. She was in 11th grade, broke up with her long time boyfriend and couldn't bare to go to school because he was there. Instead wanted to stay home with new boyfriend that dropped out of high school.
2. Decided to quit her job because life is too stressful to go to school and work and that way she can focus more on school. She still failed classes and got kicked out the last week of school because she missed so much. But next year will be better because she will only be going half days.
3. She was suppose to go to summer school but because she did not call, like I told her to,she missed. now she has to go full day next year.

I just don't know what to do with her, I talked, yelled and reasoned still nothing. I'm ready to run away scream. I have explained graduating high school is a requirement but it doesn't seem important to her. She just keeps saying life is too stressful. We have done the couseling thing, didn't help. now what?

Answer 1

Family and friends that live in a life style of not listening to wisdom can be difficult.

My advice is that once you give advice, do not repeat it. Next, don't give any advice unless she asks for it. This is because it can be an enabling mechanism for her to propagate the drama. The drama may be fueling a delusion she is under.

Ultimately, she must learn for herself. You should focus on your own life. Try for success in school, job, friends (multiple), and church. Try to have the full life you want and lead by example. Even if she continues to decline in school or other pursuits, you should first take care of your self.

The difficult thing about helping others, is ultimately they have there moral agency. This means they are free to choose what they do with there life. But, they are not free to choose the consequences.

Answer 2

Well this is all about being a teenager........... Finding out who you are and who you want to become.

She obviously doesn't have a motivation in life that is driving her to finish school and become a successful adult. You have to find out what interests her, get her thinking about a career whether it be behind a desk or an animal trainer. There are many things she can do with her life get her interested in something and support her ideas.

Either way she is going to have to live with the consequences of her actions ie. missing summer school, now she has to go full days next year. That is what life is all about, and she no matter how hard headed, will have to be held accountable. So now might be the time for her to start realizing how she can change, otherwise she will have to continue to experience the same hardships until she gets the lesson learned.

I hope you can work it out! Good luck, and continue to be a good sister!

Answer 3

Sorry to hear this, girl. I know exactly what you are going through. I have a younger sister (she is 22 now) that was crazy in her younger years. At the age of 17 she got really involved in drugs and alcohol. The guy she was dating at the time started her on it. She graduated high school and left to go to a really trashy college. She started hanging with some very messed up kids and they drug her down even farther. I was so scared for her life. She almost killed herself with drugs more than once.

I think the reason for her doing what she did was because of some things that were going on at home. My parents were going through some rough patches with infidelity and were not really involved with our lives. I tried to be a parent, friend, and sister to her, but she would not listen to me.

All I can say is just try to be there for her no matter what. I sent my sister notes all the time when she was in college. I would call her just o let her know I was thinking of her. It's the little things that will eventually add up. My sister is great now! She has a new boyfriend who adores her. She has been clean for over a year now...and she has a job and her own apartment! There is hope for your sister. Unfortunately, she just has to go through this phase that she is in. You just need to be her #1 supporter.

Good luck sweetie.

Answer 4

Sometimes, you can't yell at a someone and then expect them to understand. Everyone has a different way of approaching experiences and situations in life. It seems as she's not taking full responsbility because she is still immature. Sorry to say, but it seems as if she is still a child. If she can't care about herself, then that's her problem. It's her own descision how she wants to live her life. And if it's poorly planned, that's what she gets for being irresponsible. Just leave her alone, she will come around and learn on her own.

Life is stressful for her because she's creating it that way. She's not making an effort to make he rlife happier and that is what's really sad about some people. They blame their life because of this or because life did this to them. But the truth is, they can change to prevent their life from becoming a certain way. And if they don't it's because they don't care.

Answer 5

Life is too stressful! She's only 17 and complaining about stress. She doesn't have a job, thank goodness no kids. I'm not saying that high school is not stressful, but come on, sounds like she is just lazy. Sometimes people have to hit rock bottom for them to get their act together.

Answer 6

Obviously there are not any parents around and they are not parenting.

Do a google search for "parenting with love and logic" read the stuff there, order the books. I think you will find them helpful.

If there are any parents around, buy them the books for christmas.

My advice is to let your sister fall on her face and learn some hard lessons now. Cut off the money, food, entertainment. Don't argue with her. Just tell her you love her too much to help her fail in life.....:-)

Good luck.

Answer 7

Leave her alone.
Let her suffer the consequences of her actions.
She may have to learn the very, very hard way.

Let her fall and fail, even though that is hard to watch.
It's her life....
I'm not saying drop out of her life, I'm just saying, stop telling her what to do, and try (even though it is extremely difficult) to just let her make her mistakes. And love her anyway.

Hopefully it wont take very long for her to turn it around.

Answer 8

Stop supporting her finacially, and let her fall on her face. Sometimes tough love is the way to go. When she wants new clothes or a car or to go somewhere, she'll have to take responsibility and do it herself. If she lives with you, charge her rent starting the day she hits 18.

Answer 9

It's her life. Your a great sister, as good as you can be. But you've told her, now let her GO. Let her experience the real world, and see how SHE screwed up. You've done as much as you can.

hope this helps.

--sarah.

Answer 10

When she's 18, she'll spend her birthday packing her clothes to move out. Make that clear right now.