Am I damaged goods with a lot of baggage?

Question

I am a single mom. I have a 10 year old daughter who is a great kid and I am pregnant with my second child. My daughter has grown up with a father that is only there for her when it is convienent for him, and unfortunately the father of the child I am carrying went from being Mr. Wonderful to a piece of crap too. So now I will be a single mom of two kids without fathers. I was told just yesterday that because of the situation that I have been put into that I won't be able to meet a great guy because I am now "damaged goods with a lot of baggage." I have asked some of my guy friends if they were to meet someone like me if they would think the same thing but of course they aren't going to say anything to push me down even further. So now I am going to ask complete strangers because I want honest opinions. I'm a great person who has just been dealt a couple of bad hands. I don't feel that just because i have kids that I am not worthy of finding that right person.

Answer 1

I think you're hot!!!!!!

Answer 2

Well you wanted honest, so here goes..

Most men would not want to take the chance with you because you have had 2 kids with 2 different guys and now they are both pieces of crap in your book. Who would want to be number three in that club? It's not the fact that you have kids that will scare them away, it's the fact that as soon as a guy is your ex (after you made a kid with them) that you turn on them. They also know that for normal parents, kids come first. You won't have the free time that a childless woman would.

None of that means you won't find someone, it's just going to require a bit more looking.

Answer 3

Wow! Am I looking in the mirror? I am a single mother of two. I left my not so wonderful ex when I was 3 months pregnant. I spent many nights crying thinking nobody would want me because I had two kids. I dated some one when I was 6 months pregnant, then ya... he got alittle intimidated.
I met an extremely attractive great guy who was a single father of two when I was 7 months prego. We became good friends. Two months after the birth of my second child that same guy and I started a relationship. It lasted a year, but didn't work out. I have learned that not as many men will want you with 2 kids, but the good ones will. I don't get near as many crappy guys trying to get in my pants. The guys who are interested in me now actually do care about me and my children, and are better suited for us. Think of your kids as being your scum filter. They may not filter all the scum, but you don't have to deal with the majority of it. Only the worthy of a chance with some one as wonderful, beautiful, and strong as you are presented before you. Then it's your pick. No matter how wonderful a guy seems, if he's not into you because you have two kids... he's not worthy of being blessed with you and your children in his life.

Answer 4

You are not damaged goods. Just because an A$$ like those two idiots were doesnt make you bad at all. In fact if i was to meet someone that had two kids i would look at it the exact opposite. You see your kids are a part of you...therefore why would i not want to be there..if i liked you enough and fell in love than there a part of who you are. Dont worry about what others say be strong confident....nice guys are out there that would love an opportunity to meet you.

Answer 5

you want honesty...

I would consider your situation way too much baggage, because not only did you choose to get into that situation once but unwisely choose not to learn from your own mistakes and do it again. Thus the pattern or at least the propensity to make bad decisions which could jeopardized not only you but everyone else involved in your circle of misfortune. Obviously, no one is perfect and I hate to sound like someone throwing stones from my glass house but you wanted an honest answer.

on a lighter note, this is just my humble opinion and I'm sure that not everyone feels that way...so somewhere out there, chances are there is someone that is right for you.

Answer 6

I really don't like posting when there's plenty of answers. More than likely somebody already said what I would say.

Let me just say this. I am a divorced dad. If I had 2 kids, it would be hard for me to find a female. Seriously. Damaged goods and all that is a ridiculous expression, but to be honest, you reduced your odds severely. Reason why men always say "I don't want any kids yet!". So if your goal is to find men easily, please quit having babies.
And no, you are no damaged goods, I would date u in a heartbeat if you have a nice personality.

Answer 7

Dont you believe that!!!! If you are a good person inside with a heart and Most importantly a good mother then you will find the right person. The men that feel you are damaged goods is damaged goods themselves. for the record, the person that told you that you are damaged goods is a complete idiot (sorry but that was wrong of them.) There is someone out there for everyone and you certainly did not find him yet but he is out there looking for you. Chin up, look at yourself in the mirror, take care of those two kids and the rest will fall in place. I promise you that! :)
suz

Answer 8

I think you're in a tough situation. Guys without kids are going to think twice about a relationship where they have to deal with a soon to be teenager and changing diapers. Along with being fathered by different guys....yikes. I would take yourself off the market for a couple of years, raise your kids - soak their father's for all the child support and alimony you can and wait for the guy who's already got kids of his own.

Answer 9

Maybe not damaged goods, but 2 kids = lots of baggage.

I won't date a woman with 2 kids. 1 kid ok. 2 means mom knows she needs to land a man and I'm not trying to be instant dad to a couple brats that aren't mine.

If you're a MILF it'll be much easier to find dates, but I know I wouldn't be looking to marry you.

Answer 10

you are not damaged goods. shame on the person who told you that. not everyone has perfect relationships, everyone goes through ups and downs in life. you got to change your mindset. Love yourself completely, search your soul to find out, what drives you to these men. and work on yourself inside out. remember your are a wonderful mother and your daughter loves you and so will your new bundle of joy. write down all the fabulous things about you and read them out loud, and remember you are human and make mistakes just like everyone else. and you to deserve a second chance. so change your mind set. I wish you luck, you can do it, believe in yourself.

Answer 11

I believe you when you say you're a great person. But the way I see it, You're NOT damaged goods. All you've had was a run of bad luck in looking for a good man. I'm sure there is somebody out there for you who will treat you with the love and respect you surely deserve.