She's been living w/ my mother-in-law for almost 18 months. She messed up, joined bad crowds, was behaving in a really unacceptable way. We had to punish her severely. She apologized, said she regretted and would change. But anyway we were firm, she was grounded from almost evrything for 4 months, had a bad time. Maybe we went overboard, but we wanted to be able to trust her again. This let the girl devasted, she didn't expect that from us, and though she changed got extremely resentful and depressed. Her grandma loves her a lot, had some influence over my hubby, gave the girl love and trust and we agreed she spent some time with her. She moved, made new friends, new school, today is a wondeful girl, but never gor over what happened. Says we didnt trust her, weren't her parents when she needed us most. She doesnt want to come back home and her granma neither. She hardly talks w/ us, avoids us. Should I make her get back home anyway? I feel I'm losing my girl, this is devastating
2007-06-06 05:11:19 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I'd recommend that you all begin some family therapy. She has a lot of anger and resentment built up and if you just force her to return home, it may only go bad again. If you start the therapy now you can work into reunification.
What has changed in your home? Are you sure it would be a healthy environment? Bringing her back into the environment could be unhealthy for her. Just something to consider.
Good luck!
2007-06-06 05:24:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a really tough one and I really feel sorry about the whole thing for you all. If it was me I would explain to her that it had nothing to do with trust , it was because you love her that you did what you did . I would try a visit maybe once a week and go somewhere quiet so that you two could talk , I would talk to her and let her know that I was willing to listen and understand , and slowly maybe you could rebuild a relationship. sometimes as parents we take the blunt of things but if it is done for the right reasons in the long run it pays off. and one day she will understand and it will not seem like the wrong thing , if she is doing ok then i would let her stay with the grandmother and just keep in contact with her , God will help work things out in his time , just let her know that your door is open to her and that she is always welcome , and let her know that your heart is always open too. i will pray for you all and goodluck in this sad situation.
2007-06-06 05:58:32 · answer #2 · answered by lilsis 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She was having some problems when she was with you before. Now apparently she is thriving. So, if things are going well now, why change it?
If you force her to come back home, expect the problems to resurface, because she will not be happy and will resent you.
You need to think about what's best for HER, instead of what you want.
I would, however, strongly encourage family counseling. Maybe through counseling you can reach a point where she would be willing to come back home and give it another try.
2007-06-06 07:04:03 · answer #3 · answered by kp 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should definitely bring her home, even if she's mad or depressed, she's your daughter and part of your family, how could you let her go that long?The relationship sounds like it's really broken, I think you should spend more time with her and get to know her better.Have her help you around the house and take her places where you guys can have fun together.Let her know you trust her and start fresh.
2007-06-06 08:39:29 · answer #4 · answered by m○○♥m○○ 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to gain her trust again and you need to give her a little bit off freedom.Everyone rebels at some point but she should swing back round eventually.Tell her how you feel.
2007-06-06 05:41:45 · answer #5 · answered by J o a n n e 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are her mother. You love her. She's 15, and needs to be home. When she grows up and matures more, she'll understand. She's not old enough to be on her own. Don't let up, you're the one in charge of this situation--take charge.
2007-06-06 05:20:09 · answer #6 · answered by GLSigma3 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
KiDS WANT THERE PARENTS TO TRUST THEM MORE THEN ANYTHiNG!!
i REMEMBER WHEN MY DAD FLAT OUT TOLD ME HE DiDN'T TRUST ME. i CRiED. i DONT KNOW WHY i CRiED i GUESS iT JUST HURT ME iNSiDE. BUT YEAH YOU SHOULD GET HER BACK HOME. AND LET HER KNOW YOU TRUST HER. BUT DON'T GET TOO SOFT!!
2007-06-06 05:26:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you lost her way before she left for grandmas
2007-06-09 23:36:55 · answer #8 · answered by cheri h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋