I know a man that lies to his wife because he doesn't want to hurt her feelings. He feels like its best to do that so she won't get hurt. So why do things to hurt the other person?
2007-06-06 04:51:43 · 23 answers · asked by Sunshine 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Honestly, I believe that the truth is always best. If you are doing something that will hurt the other person you need to either stop doing it, or be honest about the fact that your doing it and let them deal with it. Secrets and lies are huge burdens to carry around with you. Generally I've found that people can deal with anything given enough time and support. But once they find out you've been lying, you've lost their trust and respect forever.
You need to encourage the husband to come clean. Tell him he either does it or you will.
2007-06-06 04:56:05 · answer #1 · answered by leaptad 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There is a difference between outright lying and being not 100% truthful to save someones feelings from being hurt. A good example would be: A woman tries on a two piece bathing suit that makes her butt look huge. Very huge. She asks you how it looks on her. Now you can be 100% honest and say omg, it makes your butt look three feet wide. But that would be cruel. Instead, you tell what we call a little white lie and you say that it doesn't look bad but that it doesn't really flatter you either. You think that she should try something else on to get a better match. This way, you are sparing her feelings. That was just one example. Now I am sure that you get what I am trying to say. Sometimes the real truth hurts. And when you are dealing with someone that you care about, the last thing you want to do is hurt them (unless you are just rather insensitive.). And telling these little white lies doesn't hurt. That is the point of using them. To avoid hurting the other person.
2007-06-06 05:01:51 · answer #2 · answered by cmg1977 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the person. And depends on the lie. If my husband didn't like what I made for dinner I would really prefer he tell me, so I won't cook it anymore. Some guys would say "it's ok" to save hurt feelings. Where some women would prefer to be lied to in this situation.
If he's lying when asked "do I look fat?" , this is ok. But, there again, it depends on the situation and depends on the other person. Maybe there's a woman who WOULD want her man to tell her "yeah kinda" when asked "do I look fat?"
Sorry but the answer is not that simple.
2007-06-06 05:00:39 · answer #3 · answered by manybagolike 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Me being the person that I am, I feel that it is wrong to lie for any reason. The truth will hurt , oh yes it will, but its the truth. It will come to the light sooner or later. 1st, you shouldn't do anything to mess up a marriage. You took vows before the eyes of GOD. Lots of people commit adultery which is not good. They normally do it because they feel like they are missing something. Attention, sexual styles & positions, money, etc. Its not right. I am not saying if you do go tell. Just wait until they ask. That way you never lied.
2007-06-06 04:58:55 · answer #4 · answered by slbeezie 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Are you messing around w/ this man, cause if you are, he's just telling you that he's w/ her not to hurt her feelings just so he can score w/ you. I hope you are not messing w/ this man. If you aren't good. To answer you question, it's not right the person would hurt more if they find out they were lied to.
2007-06-13 12:07:18 · answer #5 · answered by teriwilburn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lie is not the way to save one's feelings, person should not do anything wrong to safe one's feelings!
Lies are all different, but it doesn't matter at all, because no matter what a person can't call himself as a truly opened for his behalf and that shows that he doesnt love.
2007-06-06 05:00:30 · answer #6 · answered by (✿◡‿◡✿) 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think that if his wife found out, she would be very upset and deeply hurt. So no its not ok to lie, I wouldnt do it to my husband, saying that its to save hurting her feelings is obviously rubbish, he must be up to something naughty to be lieing in the first place. he is a pig!!!!
2007-06-13 22:51:24 · answer #7 · answered by stormchaser 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would prefer to hurt knowing the truth than to be more upset knowing I have been lied to
2007-06-13 21:49:53 · answer #8 · answered by cheri h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you do SOMETHING that requires lying to cover up the truth, it is wrong. Now when you say you like the way her hair is styled or the way a dress fits to spare her feelings it is something else. Even in these situations, there is always a right way and a wrong way to say things. This man sounds like he is covering up a lie.
2007-06-06 05:11:48 · answer #9 · answered by blue_dragon 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's not ok to lie to save someones feelings because when that person finds out the truth it is more painful than if you just came straight out with it.
For most people betrayal is worse than death so desciving and lieing to people to spare their feeling is never a good idea.
2007-06-06 05:00:07 · answer #10 · answered by Tone Teezy 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋