Is it bad to be this way?

Question

I have this wall up around my heart and won't let anyone in. It seems like everytime I let someone in I get hurt. I'm a nice girl and I am just tired of being hurt. I would give someone everything I had if they just showed me some respect and care. It just makes me feel unlovable. I know that my family and friends love me. I guess maybe they are all that matters.

Answer 1

You are ok. You are just not ready to open yourself up right now. When the time is right, it will happen.

Answer 2

I know exactly how you feel as I went through a period of feeling like this myself and ultimately ended up hurting myself so I just figured that it's best to be yourself and trust your instincts. There is nothing wrong with wanting to keep some boundaries between yourself and anyone you date but you also have to open up to an extent to let them get to know you otherwise you will not meet the one person you're meant to be with. Just take things slowly and see how it goes and if you feel like you can trust someone then open up and let them in, if you know what I mean. If someone messes you around or hurts you then move on and don't let them hurt you again. We all make bad decisions and the important thing is to learn from them.

You sound like a sweet girl so just be yourself and trust your feelings and you'll meet someone great when the time is right. Lol x

Answer 3

Well it's a natural reaction to being hurt. However with that being said I think it's important not to close yourself off, a little is natural however how are you going to meet that person who is going to respect you and care for you with you all closed off? What makes love both terrible and great is it's few and far in between, you fall off the horse tons of times prior to riding out into the sunset, but the most important thing is getting back in the saddle, good luck.

Answer 4

A man likes a sweet girl but they love a bit**. They have a book out with a similar tittle. Men want a women confident in her self. I've been thru that all my life. I give a hundred and receive 30. I always got hurt and in till i respected myself and stopped giving so much. I finally received it back. I always said they should love me for who I'm but i realized i didn't want to continue to get hurt. My advise to you is to stop trying to give them so much in the beginning. Don't sleep with them right away let them chase you. Respect your self first by not letting anyone take advantage of your sweet nature. Start to date and don't try and make a relationship out of it right away. Keep your opinions open. Date a few guys at a time I'm not saying sleep with them but keeping your opinions open always gives you time to concentrate on yourself and not one person. No matter how hard we try to find that person only God knows when that time is. Try to enjoy your self and stop looking it will come to you. Don't get to emotional attached till you know is something serious. By doing so it will help you not to get hurt if it doesn't work out.

Answer 5

No. I have the wall too. It keeps you from getting hurt and then when you let it down, thinking that you can trust someone, they hurt you again. I hope that both of us can find our soul mate one day but I figure as old as I am that mine's already married to the wrong person.

Answer 6

Your not the only person in the world that has disconnected their heart strings. It's good in that you know your not going to get heartbroken but it also sucks because you can't give anyone a real chance. I know because I have the same problem. I tell myself that my friends and family are enough too. I just don't know if I always believe it.

Answer 7

Is it bad to be this way? Yes or No! to a point.... Relationships are what you make of it - sometimes you'll get hurt, rejected, disappointed, mad and want to get even. Sometimes we make bad choices and you don't know it's bad until you're involved in it. Take chances but by all means have your thinking cap on - in all relationships you must be able to be verbal about your feelings, communicate, communicate. If it doesn't work out guess what? You don't have to stay in it.

Answer 8

its not wrong to have a wall. my friend was that way. He never wanted to let anyone Close. swore off marriage. One day the right person came up his wall drop without him realizing it. Now he is happily married over two years and they just had their first baby. So keep hope alive the right one only a head turn away

Answer 9

Yo that's a hard one gal
i really wish i could help ?
what type ov guys do you go with n what age
do u go with any-one that will dance ? not the answer
I would say reading yoUr Q the next time ur out clubbing don't get to know a smooth talker try some one that's being himself
honest and bloody stupid

and this is from a man

Answer 10

i built a wall around my heart, awhile ago. sometimes its what you need to do for you. i was sick of getting hurt, and that was the only thing i had for protection. well... my fiance came along.. 2 and a half years ago.. and broke threw that wall.. he was my first love... and he is my only. when you find the right guy, he will break the wall down himself..and you will feel it happen,and you will know its right

Answer 11

When you are ready give it another shot. We are not all bad, I know it may seem like men are all evil, but there are some that really do still care. Like myself. So just take a break and then go back out there but be cautious.