My MOM won't let me go BIKING ALONE. How can I get her to give me more FREEDOM?

Question

I am a 13 year old girl. I live in the last house on a dirt road. The rode is less than a mile long. The people living on it are all old and stay indoors. My family knows most of the people.

Our neighborhood is quiet because it is composed mostly of elderly people. There aren't any kids my age in my neighborhood.

I really want to buy a bike because I desperately need something to do over the summer, but my parents refuse to let me bike alone. They tell me that I have to go with my YOUNGER siblings for protection. My younger siblings never want to go anywhere, and they aren't serious bikers.

And if something WERE to happen, how would they protect ME?

I have to WALK home from school after I am dropped off at the beginning of the dirt road from my bus stop.

This makes no sense to me! Wouldn't it be safer for me to be on a bike than to walk? (And it isn't because they are afraid I will fall off the bike. They don't want me ALONE biking.)

Answer 1

It sounds to me like you're in the perfect area to safely ride a bike. It also sounds like you would be in a better position to "protect" your younger siblings than they you.
Your parents are being protective, perhaps a bit over protective in this case. I'm an "over 50" parent with a 13 year old daughter and wouldn't have a problem with her riding a bike in the situation you've described. Maybe talking with your parents about concerns they have may help.
*Actually there's more dangers in some internet chat rooms than you'll ever have on a bike.*
All that said, the best approach is *not* to show your parents this answer and say "See other parents would be ok with it."
You need to prove that you can be trusted. Ask if you can have a bike and agree to their terms. As the summer goes on maybe they'll let you ride alone. Perhaps you could even offer to check in on some of the older people in the area during your rides.
BTW... The trust you establish now will go a long way in a few years when you want to start dating.

Answer 2

well first of all, you are 13. I know most other 13 year olds have more freedom but that's their parents fault. they probably want to make sure that you don;t get hurt. I mean predators can lurk anywhere even your your part of the neihborhood. What i don't understand is the fact that you walk home alone but can't bike alone. And i agree if somethign were to happen your siblings probably could't do anything. The best solution to this is to find a friend to bike with (faithfully). Try to act more responsible in little ways to help show your parents that you are becoming more resposnsible for your age. They may start giving you more freedom sooner than you think. finally, when you do gain their trust don't do something stupid by ruining it. Then you'll just be back where you started.

hope things work out.

Answer 3

Aww, it is tough to be a parent of a teen-ager, and even tougher to be that teen-ager at times. Try to remember that when your parents are over-protective it is because they are scared of something. It then becomes a matter of finding out what they are truly scared of. It sounds like you have given a lot of thought as to how the neighborhood is safe and they already let you walk home from the bus stop, so I assume you have discussed this point already. (Do you walk home with your siblings?)

The next step would be to figure out what your mom is truly scared about. It sounds like you assume it is a safety issue of your road, but you haven't actually figured out why it is that she doesn't want you to bike. Perhaps it is the amount of freedom she feels the bike will give you and that you will go beyond your dirt road and then you will be out of what she feels to be a safe zone. Maybe she doesn't think she can afford to buy you a bike. If you find out what her true objection/fear is, then you can continue what you have been doing, finding a constructive solution that will solve both of your desires.

Answer 4

You are lucky your parents care about you. There are many parents you can read about in the newspaper who do NOT care about their children. They leave them alone while they go to dinner or let them ride bikes alone. I know it is very hard for you to understand at your young age but you will appreciate it someday. Walking is better exercise than bike riding anyway so you will be in great shape. Maybe your sibliings will decide to ride later on. Besides the danger of abductions of a young girl, there are also dangers to simply riding as a member of our family died from a bike crash. I would say study hard in school and find a another hobby for now either music or volunteering to care for animals at a shelter or nursing home or some other area which keeps you busy in your free time. Then go give your parents a big hug and thank them for caring about you!! I think you will be happy if you do that!!!!

Answer 5

Ask if there is something that they heard in past about a bike accident or something happen to a family member with a bike, if you are able to walk and not ride, they may be thinking of how quick you can get out of the road before someone flies down it thinking that no one is around.
Don't know, I'd ask about more info.

Answer 6

shes probably worried because what if one you break your arm or something and there's no one there to help you? or if someone steals your bikes and you have to walk home. if one of you has a cell phone i don't see the problem but just tell her that its the same thing as walking there with your friends you're just adding a bike along with it. did your friends mom say yes? if she did then let your friends mom talk to your mom about it to get her to say yes.

Answer 7

I would talk to your mom. Explain to her that you siblings don't want to go for bike rides. In this day and age I am sure that you or your mother have a cell phone. Ask you mom if and when you go biking if you could take her cell phone and if anything happens you will give her a call and you'll check in every 10-15 min. Say that is a fare compromise and I am sure that it will work.

Answer 8

try to find out what their real fear is then offer suggestions to calm that fear. here are some examples:

They are afraid you will get hurt: offer to wear a helmet, if you don't have your own cell phone tell them you will borrow theirs when you go riding, this way if you do fall you will be able to call them to come get you (or 911 if its serious)

they are afraid you will get lost: again a cell phone helps here, but suggest that you will pre-plan your routes before you go riding, you will ride only on roads/trails you are very familiear with, you will only ride during daylight hours

they are afraid you will ride to places you shouldn't be going: this is a trust issue, you need to earn their trust by taking on responsibility one step at a time, then proving you can handle it, look for ways to show responsibility

they think it will cost too much? try doing a few things to earn some money, then offer to pay for part of the bike, and the rest can be your birthday present or something.

Good Luck, be safe, and have fun.

Answer 9

Why don't you talk to them about getting you a cell phone, or a walkie talkie phone? Then you can be in almost constant contact with them. Also, allow them to set limits on how far you'll go at first. After they get used to the idea, they'll let you go farther. They are just trying to protect you. We parents hear all kinds of horrible things on the news every day and we just don't want to lose our most precious "possessions." :)

Talk in a grown-up way with your parents and see if you can't come to some sort of compromise. Good luck! :)

Answer 10

I agree with your parents. In this day and age you cannot be too safe no matter where you live and it sounds as if your road is relatively quiet and unwatched making it a wonderful place for some perverted sicko to abduct children. Take Mom's advice and have someone with you...it's better to be bored a bit than to have your whole life turned upside down in an instant.