My sister-in-law and I have known each other for about 6 years now. I don't think highly of her. We got caught up in some "he said, she said" drama 10 mths ago. I was told by my husband that my sister-in-law was talking trash about my best friend, which meant they were talking about me also. I believed my husband. I'd had enough from her & I just couldn't keep quiet about this. I sent her an email asking her to not talk about me and my friends anymore. I didn't say anything mean in the email. She denies it and then starts in on my husband, telling me bad things about him. I sided with my husband .... just for him to later tell me he was wrong and it wasn't my sister-in-law that said it afterall. So I apologize to my SIL for wrongly accusing her & that I was only going by what I was told. She ignored both of my apologies. For the past month or so, we have been around around each other & gone to dinners and been fine. She is now blocking my emails. I thought we were past this! Advice?
2007-06-06 04:28:53 · 4 answers · asked by glamorous 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I was the one being gossiped about and stood up for myself and my friend. My SIL is a big gossip so thats why I was quick to believe what my husband told me.
2007-06-06 04:42:04 · update #1
My first apology I tried to reach her by phone, and ended up leaving her a voicemail. Then I attempted to send her an email since I thought she may feel more comfortable handling it that way.
2007-06-06 04:47:37 · update #2
I've attempted to explain what happened to her, but she won't discuss it with me or even attempt to hash this out.
2007-06-06 04:48:15 · update #3
Ok we are past the point of being MAD about what happened ... that was over 10 mths ago.
My point is ... I thought we'd moved past this seeing as how she befriended me to my face recently but then she keeps doing crap like this? Life I said, I thought we moved on from this and were making amends.
2007-06-06 09:38:45 · update #4
Unfortunately we can't choose our in-laws. You apologized and she's being very immature about things. You did your part and as long as your husband knows you tried that's what counts. Eventually she'll come around, but if she doesn't it's her loss.
I myself have had sister-in-law problems, I just plain don't like mine. I think she's totally wrong for my brother, but there's nothing I can do about it. She's who he chose and it's none of my business. If they live a long happy life together I'll be happy for them, if they don't then I'll be there for them. In the meantime I stay pleasant at family gatherings and don't cause a fuss. It's all I can do.
Don't forget your husband plays a small part in this, afterall he misinformed you. But don't take it out on him. Ask him to explain this to your sister-in-law, once she knows the truth maybe she'll understand and come around.
2007-06-06 04:46:14 · answer #1 · answered by isa2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally I'd be more mad at myself for jumping to conclusions before checking to make sure the story was true. Even with the story coming from your husband it was still gossip and if you were going to address it the safer way would have been to ask if she really was saying stuff before you jumped down her throat.
And I'd be more mad at your husband for getting the story wrong. How far into this fight were you and his sister (or your brother's wife???) before he "remembered" that she wasn't the one saying things?
Your sister in law may sense that your apology is hinged on the condition that you still believe she is gossipy and could have said things about your friend. Unless you can make a truly sincere apology let it go.
2007-06-06 09:31:12 · answer #2 · answered by Critter 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Send her a letter explaining the situation and apologize one last time. You will have left the door open for her to contact you and that is all that you can do.
Don't forget your focus and main priority should be to your husband and any children that you have or may have so if she wants it this way it is her problem.
2007-06-06 04:34:03 · answer #3 · answered by New England Babe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your married to your husband not your sister in law. let it go and hopefully she cools down eventually. Maybe she doesn't like all the drama. let it go and if you want to say something to someone in the future, I recommend you do it in person, a conflict isn't resolved in an e-mail and it kind of looks like your in the wrong. Do it in person and make sure she knows she can't push you around. And all of you should quit gossiping thats how it all started right
2007-06-06 04:36:15 · answer #4 · answered by Bonnie K 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋