from a non spanker why they think spanking is abuse. Sorry, for that. But i want to know.
2007-06-06 03:47:17 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
You know, this is the third time you've posted this. Maybe I don't spend enough time on here, but if memory serves me, I see anti-spankers saying it's bad a lot, but the only people putting "spanking" and "abuse" in the same sentence are the spankers, who keep screaming that spanking is not abuse. I may have to check the archives, but I can't recall seeing an anti-spanker tell somebody they're committing abuse - I believe they're saying they don't agree with it, and they think it's wrong, and "never do it", and things like that.
Why has this forum turned into such a battle ground in the past week? All I see are spanking questions and bogus crap from bored teenagers.
2007-06-06 04:15:13 · answer #1 · answered by ~Biz~ 6 · 5⤊ 3⤋
I was not spanked as a child, and therefore I am a non-spanker to my own kids.
Spanking becomes abuse when parents go above and beyond what is necessary to punish the child. Some parents spank because they lose their temper, which I believe to be wrong. I am not entirely against spanking but I do think parents need to set boundaries for themselves for this type of punishment.
2007-06-06 04:03:45 · answer #2 · answered by Lyn 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Science has shown that for any reinforcement to be effective it must be done right after the undesired behavior is demonstrated.
In terms of spanking, I would not wan to hit my child while I was still mad at him or her for something. I think a spanking in only effective if the child really gets the connection between what he or she did and why they are now getting hit.
My daughter (2) and son (8 months) would be so shocked if I hit them. They do not have the critical thinking skills to analyze mommy's actions. I think spanking only works on older children, who understand. I plan to have my children respect my actual authority enough due to my constant vigilance, discipline and non-violent punishments by that point, I won't have to hit them to make them listen.
I am not a permissive parent, I am always watching my kids and the minute my daughter is fresh or naughty, I address it. I am always getting compliments on how well mannered she is. I just don't spank her.
2007-06-06 04:26:03 · answer #3 · answered by Laurie W 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
In a way it is, I would spank out of anger, because I have a short fuse, so I just leave the room or put my son in a safe spot and calm down for 5 to 10 mins. People actually go to jail for hitting other people and children are still people why should they not get as much voice and power as an older person does in the way of the law. I was at the beach and this one boy threw sand at his mother and she looked like she was going to rip his arm out jolting him to her and she turned him around and spanked his butt hard. Just because she got a little sand in her face. Time out is more effective since they think about what they did instead of thinking why did my parent spank me and how much it hurts.
2007-06-06 05:02:12 · answer #4 · answered by fourcheeks4 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am a spanker, because I have a very defiant 4-year old. I think I'm pretty patient with him, and it really is the only way to get his attention. I only spank when he has done something really bad like hurt someone, lied, or possibly hurt himself. Spanking becomes abuse when it is abused. If a child is "spanked" in other places on their body, like in the face, etc. then it's crossed the line. If spanking ever leaves a mark or bruise, then it's also gone too far. I also don't spank in public; there are too many crazies out there that would confront me on parenting my own child, but they certainly wouldn't want to take him home with them to figure it out on their own!
2007-06-06 05:32:12 · answer #5 · answered by MILF 5 · 1⤊ 3⤋
I am a non-spanker. For me? It's because I can't imagine hitting ANYONE out of anger or as a punishment. It's just so not me.
I can't say that I think it is abuse, unless it goes beyond what a reasonable person would consider appropriate. It's just that a lot of people aren't entirely reasonable and don't know where to draw lines and that's where the whole concept gets a bad name.
2007-06-06 03:51:42 · answer #6 · answered by Dalice Nelson 6 · 8⤊ 1⤋
1. If you spank out of anger, you're doing it wrong.
2. If you spank to leave a mark, you're doing it wrong.
3. If you spank and it hurts for more than a minute or two, you're doing it wrong.
4. If you spank in public or in a way that humiliates the child, you're doing it wrong.
I used to work with hundreds of toddlers. I know parents who spanked and didn't spank. The parents who didn't spank always didn't spank for the wrong reasons, and the parents who did spank always spanked for the wrong reasons or in the wrong way. After years of experience, I met ONE FAMILY who was doing it right. If you can't do it right, don't do it.
I believe in spanking, but I also believe in doing it RIGHT.
2007-06-06 10:56:41 · answer #7 · answered by Maber 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe spanking is abuse. Sometimes a good swat on the butt makes an impression.
2007-06-06 05:52:35 · answer #8 · answered by mimegamy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
spanking is not abuse, Abuseis when you beat a child senseless, humiliate and berate them, or withold food from them as punishment. I personally don't spank because I feel it instills fear and shame in children, not very healthy for them. But to each his own
2007-06-06 04:14:42 · answer #9 · answered by rose 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
i have never spanked my kids, i believe in talking it out. depends on how hard the spank is as to wether or not its abuse.
2007-06-06 04:02:27 · answer #10 · answered by nanabooboo 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋