RE: How many times has this question been asked about spanking?

Question

And who is blue in the face?
What i want to know from the bleeding hearts is WHY do you think spankings are abuse? How did you get this in your heads? I can't believe you think they are one in the same. Abuse is: beating your child black and blue, not feeding them, leaving them unattended, and so much more i couldn't name them all. A spanking is a pop on the bottom. How the hell is that abuse? Can't you see how taking paddles out of schools has changed kids these days? What is wrong with you? A spank gets their attention and is over very quickly and effectivly. Taking a toy away, please, my kids are smarter than that. I would have to take every single toy away in the house for that to be effective. They just play with something else. You can't tell me spankings make them scared of you, or makes them abuse other children. That is such crap!
So tell me, what makes spankings abuse in your eyes?

This question has had many good points. But i want to know from the non spankers, why spanking is abuse. Not one of you has an answer.

Another thing. Nanny 911 is a load of crap. How long are they there? A week maybe two. Yeah right. They want you to think that stuff works. I called BS on nanny 911 a LONG time ago.

Answer 1

I am so glad to hear there are others on my side. There is nothing wrong with spanking and I still do it and trust me my grandchildren know where the paddle is and yet they still love coming to grandma's house.
I was spanked a lot when I was a child and yep I did deserve 9 out of ten of them. I was never beaten but I did have a sore butt when my dad got done with me. Guess what I still love him with all my heart. I am so with you on this. Put the paddles back in school but learn how to use them the correct way. There is never a reason to leave bruises on a child to teach them a lesson but a good swat on the butt might wake them up a little.

Answer 2

Most of the bleeding hearts that think spanking is abuse have probably never been spanked once in their lives. They don't understand that there is nothing harmfull in giving your child a few smacks to the butt with an open hand. Some children dont respond to time out, loss of privledges or other "passive" forms of discipline. Look at 40-50 years ago. Every kid got spanked, not just by mom and dad either, aunts uncles grandparents even neighbors. If you misbehaved you got spanked end of story. There was no where near the amount to youth violence that there is today. A school shooting wasn't even a concept to be understood back then because children knew how to behave and what was expected of them. I think that the government should have no say in how parents discipline their children. If a child is being abused fine step in for the safety of the child but if a kid gets spanked when he does wrong STAY OUT OF IT. Odds are that kid is the one that will never see the inner workings of our justice system!

Answer 3

For my own part, I don't spank. For me it was never a matter of principal...I simply couldn't reconcile hitting someone that I love. Period.

Fortunately my girls are of the "easy to raise" variety so I never felt that I missed the boat by not introducing spanking into my parenting method.

I do believe, however, that it's ridiculous to think that one method of parenting will work for every child and there are some for whom spanking is the only effective way of deterring dreadful behavior.

I do get concerned, though, when I see a parent striking a child out of extreme anger. I stop short of calling it abuse, but I have to wonder how many children suffered permanent injuries as a result..and how many parents inflicted far more pain on their loved ones than they meant to.

Answer 4

ok i am a non spanking parent however i dont see spanking as abuse. Do some parents take it too far sure, but not all. I dont need to spank my children to get my point across. I dont take away their toys, and if i do i make them throw them away so they know. The first time my son threw a tantrum in a store, he had to donate his favorite toy. He learned what was acceptable and what was not. I do not give in to my children. I only need to send them to their room ( nothing but a bed and dresser in there). I have an open discussions with my children and its effective for me. My children are intelligent, well mannered, polite, and well rounded children. So not all parents need to spank, but that doesnt mean their kids are unruly, getting into trouble. Spanking is a personal choice and wether you choose to or not your decisions should be respected.




Side note* growing up i used to watch my neighbor make his son go out to find his switch, give him a spanking. His son growing up was in and out of trouble. I was never spanked and i was a straight a student, never in trouble, respected adults when they gave me respect* sorry but i believe respect is earned not giving ( you as adult dont respect other adults when they dont respect you so why should a child respect an adult that isnt respecting them)

Answer 5

I don't think non-beating spanking is abuse. It's just stupid & mean. It doesn't teach a child anything that words can't teach them. It's pointlessly causing pain.

Sure, it stops the behavior in question. It might even deter the child from doing that particular behavior in the future, in order to avoid the pain.

But, it doesn't teach the child *why* the behavior is not acceptable. It doesn't give the child a foundation of knowledge about how right and wrong are determined so that they can then apply that knowledge to new situations.

And, certainly, the spanking can be followed up with an explanation. But, then, what was the point of the spanking if the actual learning is coming from the explanation?

It's like an electric fence for a dog. It stops them from doing what they shouldn't do, but, if you take the dog to a place that doesn't have the electric fence, he will run wild.

Answer 6

I'm frustrated by two inaccurate stereotypes -
1. Because I don't spank, I do NOTHING to discipline, and my child is rotten.
2. Because I dont' spank, I'm calling it abuse.

It's not abuse IN MOST CASES. There are a lot of things in life which are legal, which I do not think are right, and will not do. Spanking is one of them.

Taking paddles out of schools is irrelevant - it's another subject. I agree that spanking gets their attention quickly. IT'S EASY. I understand your point. It's my opinion that this is the main reason it's used - it's easy and works. There are other things that work, but are harder to pull off. They require creativity, or strong-willed parenting, and consistency. These don't require raising your hand. These I prefer.

Taking away toys works for many parents. If you're taking away one toy, then yes, your kids are smarter than that, and you. I've taken away bags - no dolls. No art stuff. No games. Whatever her favorite is at the moment - it changes as she changes. I've also removed them all - I don't f*** around. Yes that does work. Adults know that their quality of life depends on their behavior/performance. Children are entirely smart enough to understand the same concept.

And you're only lying to yourself if you think that children are not afraid of a parent who spanks. My God, that's the basis for your position! That they are wonderful, perfect, and well-behaved because they are afraid of getting spanked! Raise your hand to your child, and look in her eyes. Is she not afraid of being hit? Give me a break.

Spank if you want to. No one can stop you or convince you otherwise. You're not abusing your child in the eyes of the law. But two facts remain - it's not the only way to do it, and yes it does impact your children. You can be a disciplinarian without your hands, if you choose to.

Answer 7

Touch'e.... I agree with you !!!! My parents used to spank me - hell - i had to cut my own switches - and it better had whislted... LOL - but i am no worse for wear for it - actually i am sure that i am a better person because of it.

I also agree that taking the disipline out of the schools was the worst thing they have ever done... There was never a police officer at the schools when i was there - this was at the time when the teacher or principle could woop your butt - they did not have the problems that they have nowadays. the kids have gone wild...and there is nothing they can do about it....its sad.

Answer 8

I totally agree with you my parents had 9 kids and we got a spanking whenever we did bad or misbehaved . I spanked both my sons and they are now 23 and 25 . they have never been in jail trouble with the law or any of that business .Im tired of hearing ppl say that spanking is abuse no it is not .

Answer 9

My sisters and i got spanked when we were young. sure we were scared, but we respected our parents too. none of us have ever been in trouble with the law or otherwise and we are all successful adults. 2 nurses, a teacher, and a fashion designer. I spank my children and i must say that they never embarrass me out in public, throw tantrums, or are disrespectful to others. They may raise hell with each other at home sometimes, but they are always polite and nice when around others as compared to most children. You know who I'm talking about. The ones that have to call on their kids a hundred times and beg them to be nice, stop that, and reason with the menace to society. Whereas, i just give my kids the "look" at the first sign of following in some crazy kids antics.

Answer 10

eh american kids get it so easy in my country (tunisia north africa) u get beetings with phone cords tree switches its what ever u can get ur hands on also there is no child abuse laws and even teachers are aloud to hit you in school with a close fist i got a lose tooth knocked out before i see no problem with a spanking on the butt before and i was beetin utile i was black and blue even though i am already black and i am growing up just fine it tought me to do whats right and respect your elders i left my country when i was 8 now i am 17 and i am still the same way i was there