I have not had sex in a long time, and I've got back really tight again. Well, the other night me and my boyfriend tried to have sex and we can't. He's hard, and then when he tries to put it in me i'm so tight it hurts him, and he goes limp again.
He told me it's got nothing to do with me. I mean, that i turn him on and everything, but something seems not normal about this. I'm 20, and he's 31, but I dont' think it should make any difference. We love each other, but could his age have any thing to do with this. Or is there something I don't know. Please help me out here. And none of those "dont' have sex untill your married" notes please, thanks
2007-06-06 02:21:28 · 15 answers · asked by wingedstrider 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He might have a medical problem. 31 is young to have an ED type problem. Maybe more lube would be in order... at least to get things started. If he is still having that problem, have him checked by a doctor. There are things that can cause him to get soft.... like stress... or even diabetes.
You might try supplements for him too.... like (I swear I am not making this up) horny goat weed extract. You can find it in most health food stores.
Good luck to you!
2007-06-06 02:26:59 · answer #1 · answered by Aron1968_30 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's really difficult to answer these questions sometimes, even though you give a good description of both sides, both yours and your boyfriends. All the same not knowing either of you personally those who answer can only but take a guess at the problem. It sounds pretty much like after 2 and a half years he is more bored regarding sex than you are. Is he working for a start, you say he comes over to your place and then sits all day on the computer or in front of the telly - the guy may well be depressed, out of work, hardly any money, that gets them down hence the loss of interest in sex. And when you say he went down, if you don't like that and are uncomfortable with it, you should have grabbed his hair on his head and pulled him back up - he must know you don't like it, so that is rather disrespectful of him to you. I just get the feeling the guy is bored and is down in the dumps for some reason, and would suggest you look into that first. If he is not, then I feel its just a case of he is not that highly sexed after the years you have been together, no matter how you entice him to be. Remember men see sex in a totally different way to us, usually with age they may change their minds and see it as a joining of two people who are truly in love, and even during sex, sex is still not just sex in a good relationship, its about two people becoming real as close to each other as is possible. But most younger men see sex as just a bodily need fulfillment, so its a pretty selfish manner, whereas women see it as I described above. Listen too to your instincts, you say you are sensing something is wrong anyway, this does not have to mean there is another girl, it could as I suggested above be that he is not as sexually aroused as you can be, or that he is suffering a low self worth right now due to outside stresses. What's he like to talk to ? will he sit down and listen fairly to what you have to say to him? if the answer is yes, then you need to sit down together, and not in the bedroom, but somewhere where he can't walk away from you. Like go out to dinner one evening, and then bring up the subject (quietly of course, don't want ears at the other tables listening), although I would say they'd enjoy over hearing a conversation like that. But go somewhere together and try and be alone with him to just sit and honestly talk. The park on a nice summer day, make up a picnic or something, but talk between you both and listen, really listen to what the other ones is saying. I wish you the very best of luck, lots of things can make men bored, it is not a reflection on you, other wise he would not still be with you.
2016-05-17 23:29:03 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Regardless of how "tight" you are, he shouldn't be hurting putting it in unless you are dry. Try having foreplay to get yourself naturally lubricated, or use artificial lubrication. It will still be a little snug, but your body will naturally accommodate him. If he goes limp again with all this, then he has a sexual problem and it isn't you.
2007-06-06 02:28:30 · answer #3 · answered by cinnatigg 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fact from fiction, truth from diction. I have more years than him, and I have no trouble getting the missile up in the silo. But it is more mental then just physical. If I have to glove it, it is too tight and the pain can make me loose concentration. What you and him need to do it before he puts the round in the chamber he needs to use about 30 minutes or more tongue action. If you get relaxed, the juices will flow, then he will not have the pain causing him to lose focus
2007-06-06 05:44:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you could try the licking his penis thing, but it might be better for him to go down on you and make you wetter. Like the others said, try lubricant, a finger, and if that doesn't work, see a doctor. There is a rare condition for some women whose vagina just "clamps up" before sex. Soooo....try these things, then see your doc.
2007-06-06 04:22:40 · answer #5 · answered by godzgirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
im going to be completely blunt and detailed, just to warn you.
first lots of foreplay, enough to make you well lubricated down there. thene he should try his finger first, so that it can relax the muscles from being really tense. let him do that making sure you are lubricated enough, then try a bigger finger, then try having sex. age dont matter btw. if hes getting hard, then there is nothing to worry about. once you made your opening a little wider, you should be able to do it, without hurting him.
2007-06-06 02:28:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
KY jelly-buy a vat.
You need to RELAX yourself.
Perhaps he needs to work on YOU a while to get you "loosened up" before he proceeds. If not, you'll like it anyway.
Believe me, this is NOT a problem!
If this continues, go see a doctor. You may have something going on "downstairs."
His ADVANCED age has nothing to do with it. My BF is 64!
I am VERY happy!
2007-06-06 02:35:56 · answer #7 · answered by Lottie W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Slow down a little; this is where you need a little assistance with something like KY or an equivilant. Too dry.
2007-06-06 02:26:44 · answer #8 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get some lubricant. just sounds like trouble with the equipment. Maybe he could give you more foreplay and make sure you are ready for him.
2007-06-06 02:26:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you do not have any massage or face cream or Ky jel on hand, you can always lick(wet) his penis then he will be able to penetrate easily.
2007-06-06 02:36:36 · answer #10 · answered by greentea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋